She Loves to Be the Center of Attention....

My husbands ex is one of the fakest people that I know.  She says she is christian, she goes to church only when it suits her, I know this because I went to the same church, lets just say I don't anymore.  She recently got a myspace page and puts christian music and lies on it also.  She is very close with my husbands family just since I have come along.  They have a thursday night prayer meeting, which is really a bashing on me and my husband.  They have two kids together and I have 3 from a previous marriage.  She won't let her children stay the night with us at all because of some issues before me and she acts like they are in harms way all the time.  The oldest is a boy and always wants to be with us and he has anger issues now because of her and the family, so what did they do?  Stick him on meds.  He needs a counselor, but she doesnt care.  They only let my husband see them for a limited time every other weekend and she never tells us about his sports pictures.  We found out when it was too late to order any and she said she didn't order any extras so we couldn't have one, then she scanned some from her computer and passed them out to the family, but not us.  She likes to tell the family that I lie, but then she calls and I confront her and she was like oh, I didn't think you could hear me, then when we try to straighten this out to the family they wont believe me, say I am trying to get her out of their lives and she just says she isn't in it. 

Also she wanted the divorce.   She cheated on him and is now married to that guy, but my husband's family blames him for the marriage failing saying that even though she cheated and they love her new husband that he could have made it work when she once tried in the middle of her affair, but he didn't try hard enough then.  She calls my husband all the time.  In the morning when I am at work, in the afternoon, evening and even at 10:30p.m. and a couple times at 1:00 a.m. just to yell at him or say she heard about problems with his family and thought he might want to talk to her.   Everytime that she does call it becomes a fight about why didn't he try harder with her?  Why did he let the marriage end?  Why did he do this and do that?  But yet she is so happy and doesn't want him and is so happy with her new husband that they even went to the church for counseling to make sure it would work.  And he doesn't say anything about her calling or saying anything.  How weird.  She has also decided that it hurts her feelings to see my husband and me together now and thinks we should avoid being affectionate around her or in public, please woman spare me.  My husband will polietly tell her off.  If you want to call it that, he doesn't say much but it just didn't work I'm sorry I screwed it up, blah blah blah.  So sick of her and his drama.  They should have worked this out before they drug other people into their messed up lives!

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6 Responses Feb 8, 2008

your husband should set the ground rules, another way is unless its a hospital emergency about the kids, from now on her communication should be emails to him..<br />
if she doesn't like it, say tough....<br />
believe me, if the kids are in the hospital, she will text or call him..<br />
as far as the boy, what stops his dad from bringing him to a counselor.. if he says because she won't let me.. I call bull.. just do it with out her knowing... if they have joint custody... any meds should be approved by both parents.

OMG! I thought I was reading my life story with my hubby's ex-bi*ch!!! Girl, I feel your anger, hurt, frustration! Right down to the son issues! My Hubby's ex is the EXACT SAME WAY!!! His 2 kids can't stand their own mother & her husband! Some people will just NEVER GROW UP! We had a little stay-cation one weekend with all our kids & that dumb-a$$ kept calling my step-daughter asking what kind of room we had & what kind of view we had! Come to find out they ended up staying in a hotel right down the road from ours!! Frikin psycho! Keep strong girl! Don't wanna hear your story on snapped! lol

She's playing a control game on your marriage to try and retain control of your husband, especially through his family. My husband's EX does the same, and finally got to the point where my husband finally instituted the "no contact" rule with her, and we have now been forced to completely BAN his parents and most of his family from our home and our lives because even after he cut off contact with HER, she continued trying to get to him through his family. And still does!<br />
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My husband's family feels the same way! Even though his ex cheated on and dumped him to "better deal" him for another man, somehow they feel all that was HIS fault! But even worse, even though I didn't even meet him until AFTER they divorced, the fact that he hasn't taken her back, dispite her repeated attempts is somehow all MY fault! <br />
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Oh, and they STILL won't just GO AWAY! Just 3 days ago, my husband's father kept calling MY house, and hanging up a good 20 or 30 times when I answered, and then when my husband finally called him back, he denied he had ever done so (even though his calls show up on our caller ID!) and then actually had the NERVE to try to get my husband not only to allow him to come visit, but to spend the night at MY house! <br />
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When my husband told him NO, his father acted confused! As if he couldn't figure out WHY I should have a problem, even though he's been BANNED now for over 5 years! And I only did that after 28 years of insults, disrespect, and abuse, all for the sake of my husband's STALKER X! I feel I'm being MORE than reasonable about this. <br />
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There's really nothing you can do about people who are deranged and psychotic--except keep them out of your life.

wow! Well, I guess you have taken control of your life. Good for you.

Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with your husband about his role in it. He should not be entertaining any of these conversations. The only thing relevant would be issues with the kids, other than that, he should tell her that is not his concern. And you, my dear, have taken on these issues as your own. Set up your boundaries, know what they are and if your husband crosses them, kindly let him know, but as for the rest, you really need to let it go. I understand you feel like he dragged you into this mess, and maybe feel a little tricked. confront these issues, are they your issues or his. You have to be honest with yourself here about which issues are your own and need addressing and what are others that you just have no control over. Sending you light..

I totally agree with you. I hate the drama and I hate the fact that my husband even stays on the phone to listen to her whine and complain. You can't reason with these women so why even get yourself worked up trying. She really just makes me sick to my stomache. I can only imagine what type of garbage and lies she is feeding to their son about my husband.....