This Is My Life

my husband and I have been together about 5 years now, our family has gone thru so much, for instance; my hubby's ex formed an intimate relationship with a local police officer, she furthered this by using the cop to attempt to set up my husband, by using my stepdaughter to say she witnessed her dad hit her mom ( she did this because her mom threatened to burn her belongings) later my stepdaughter told the judge what her mom had done and that she witnessed intimacy between her mom and the police officer,the officer was later let go from the force ( the cop tried to attach an alias to my husband, he had everything right except the birth year, this alias had 3 felonies, and a rap sheet 7 pages long).  Because of the "ex's" actions she lost custody but the night before the custody trial she forced my step daughter to sit at the kitchen table and write a letter to our Judge, my step daughter would not do it and made it to  2am and she laid her head on the table and fell asleep, in and instant her head was jerked up by her pony tail and told, she was not allowed to fall asleep until she wrote the letter, she gave in, but at 7am she texted my husband apologizing for the letter, our attorney took our phone to the judge, he then ordered to talk to my stepdaughter, after all of this we were granted full custody.  one of our conditions to being granted custody was we were to drop the 125 contempts we had against the ex, now 9 months later we have 45 contempts we are saving up in case she wants to fight again....
Heres the story that is killing me the most and I frankly don't know how to deal with this;  I have been a foster mom for 11 years, the past 3 years I had a little girl that had a heart defect and she was very sick when she moved in at 6 months old. We were given a grim report and we were told to just make her comfortable, but with my background working in open heart surgery at our local hospital,and most of all lots of prayer, this frail little angel grew into a force to be reckoned with 3 year old girl who called me mommy and called my husband daddy.  We were 2 weeks away from guardianship when my husbands ex inlisted the help of her new husbands cousin which just so happened to be my foster babys caseworkers boss, the state came in and took her from our lives, we were her family, they placed her with another family but they couldn't deal with her medical needs so they put her back with her bio-mom, despite the doctors warnings, the home study pleas, and her adjudicatory hearings because mom was a recovering drug addict, with 6 other children and she was single.  Many people warned the  state that their actions could be bad for the outcome of the little girl, well less than 11 months later, this beautiful gift from God passed away... Now what do I do, I hate my husbands ex, to me, she is a murderer!