Domineering Ex-wife: Help!

Hi all,
I need help with my situation. I can't stand my husband's ex-wife and how her values seep into our household. My husband and I have been together for over 3 years. She and my husband have a 13-year-old son. They divorced over 10 years ago after she cheated on him. We have her son exactly half the time.

My frustration is that she gets her way on EVERYTHING. She's not a bad person, per se, but her way is the only way. It doesn't help that my husband is a bit passive when it comes to decision-making (in the past, he was afraid that if he stood up to her on any topic, she would take him to court and fight for custody). She always calls the shots on what school he goes to, scheduling changes, ADD meds, and no religion.

We have a 1-year-old and a baby on the way. I am tired of not having a say in the way he is raised because she is such a powerful force. If we got any say, he would go to a public school, have better manners, and be raised with a religious or spiritual sense.

Any suggestions on how to deal with a domineering ex-wife?!

Thanks in advance!!
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 9, 2013

I feel like I keep hearing the same story over and over again. At least we are not alone. Why can't these women just let go? And why can't these men get tough? I am struggling to figure out if I really want to stay in a relationship with issues similar to yours so I don't have much advice. The one thing I would suggest is if you can't comfortably find your voice in talking to him, discussing these things with a clergy member or couples' counselor could be beneficial.

Hi, Sorry to hear you are going through the same struggles. Sometimes just knowing there are others out there who are dealing with complex blended families really helps. My husband and I have started seeing a therapist for this reason, and it has really helped. I definitely recommend it. She has helped me realize that I don\'t have to force myself to love him (stepson); I just need to find a way to not resent him. She\'s also helped my husband stand up for himself, advocate for me, and learn to communicate. I hope that you and your partner can come to a resolution and not let the ex ruin your happiness. All the best to you.