So Frustrated And Stuck, Feel Depressed And Don't Know What To Do.So, I don't know where to begin my story/rant. Six years ago I met my husband while living on the west coast. We had an instant connection and strong attraction/chemistry toward each other. Which of course is why we dated and got married. Anyway, long story short, his family has always stressed me out from day one. They are very old-fashioned, super judgmental, extremely formal, super conservative, and so uptight. He is originally from Virginia, so being on the opposite coast made things a lot less stressful for me in terms of my in-laws. Anyway, during the beginning of our relationship, they would come and visit us every once in a while. Let me just say that those visits made me feel extremely stressed out. My mother-in-law was constantly controlling me, telling me what to do, how to keep my house, and was CONSTANTLY judging me. It was always very stressful for me when they would come in visit.
Anyway, 3 months after giving birth to my daughter (2 years ago now) my in-laws, my husband, and I had a falling out in our relationship. Basically, I had just finished my maternity leave and had just started going back to work full-time. My in-laws arrived for the Thanksgiving holiday, and because I was working full-time and adjusting to having a newborn, I couldn't stay on top of my housework. There was a pile of laundry I had that I was planning on getting around to folding that day before they arrived, but they arrived a lot earlier than expected. Anyway, my mother-in-law saw the pile of laundry and freaked out on me (so much for understanding), which in turn made me cry, and then caused my husband to kick them out of our house. She also called me the worse names you could call a person, and said the most hurtful things to me. So basically, my husband and I and my in-laws did not talk for 2 years.
But even after all of that, my husband and I forgave them and tried to talk, but they constantly refused to talk to us and would constantly tell us that we were trash. They didn't even want to have anything to do with their granddaughter. It was only until we went to Virginia for my husband's cousin's wedding did we finally reconcile, and the reconciliation part was all drama too.
Anyway, literally a month after we made up with my in-laws, my husband got a job promotion; however, that job promotion entailed us moving to Virginia. I was constantly fighting it because I couldn't bear being close to my in-laws, but my husband kept pushing for it. So, we made the move from the west coast to Virginia and live only a couple of miles from my in-laws. This is where my story/rant now begins. We've only been here for 2 months or so, but I cannot stand it. I hate it here to begin with, but the added stress of my mother-in-law constantly weighs me down on top of all the major stressors like my husbands new job, new move and area, and being at home with a 2 year old. I feel sooooo overwhelmed and alone. When I try to bring it up to my husband, it makes him angry because he is so stressed out at work. I don't have any friends here to talk about it too, and the time change difference makes it hard to communicate with my friends on the west coast. My husband and I also got in a fight the other day because he was talking about being here for another 15 years, and I started to feel trapped and claustrophobic. I can maybe endure being here for 3 years max, but 15 years made me feel suicidal. Anyway, I just want to get away. This move has put a lot of tension on my marriage, and my husband wants my in-laws in my daughter's life (which makes me feel terrible), and of course, he makes me feel bad for feeling overwhelmed and depressed.
I want to try and make the best out of this move, but I feel like I cannot. I honestly want out, and I feel so suicidal and depressed. I am already taking anti-depressants trying to cope with it here, but it is not helping at all. Maybe I should talk to a therapist. I feel like I made a big mistake and got myself trapped in this situation. I love my husband very much, but his parents are a big weight around my neck. I feel so depressed with my life and don't know what to do...
highdimension 26-30 3 Responses 2 Feb 21, 2012