High Moral Christian Hypocrites!

my s.o.'s family is extremely religious, always on us about going to church and so on.  is it not enough we read the bible?  must we attend your hypocritical group functions as well? 

anyway ...

when i met his family for the first time, they, of course, had to quiz me about my beliefs, education, marital history, etc.  i didn't lie about anything but i did leave out small tidbits knowing i'd be judged immediately and deemed 'not good enough' by them.  i did tell them that i'd been married before and i told them why it ended.  i did, however, fail to share that i'd been married twice before. 

i guess somewhere along the way my s.o. shared this with his mother.  her and her daugther are BFF's and they share everything.  so it wasn't long before she knew this as well.

now the sis/daughter has never taken more than 10 seconds out of her precious schedule to attempt to get to know me.  the only time she speaks to me is to get information on her brother or her neices.  she's a very self absorbed girl, never having lived outside of her parents home and not aware what the real world is like yet at 29 yrs old.

on many occasions i've tried to socialize with his sis but she has always shut me down quickly.  so i've just left her to her own devices.

in dec or jan i'd had a conversation with the mom.  i later found it had been shared with the daughter/sis.  i found out because the sis was giving my s.o. a 'talking to.'  as if it were her place to correct her older brother about his personal finances.

recently the mother has asked me on several occassions why her son refuses to communicate with her.  she has repeatedly expressed a desire for a better relationship with him.  after several things happened i finally broke down and gave her some pointers on how to get him to open up to her.  i didn't tell her that he resents her for certain things she does out of 'love' and i didn't tell her she does anything wrong.  i simply tried to help her better understand her son and how his mind operates.

i guess this upset her even though she assured me it didn't and even gave me compliments and she went on to share it with her daughter/his sis. 

now keep in mind this family is quite enmeshed.  they have no boundaries and are not keen on my personal boundaries.  they believe that what's his is theirs and what's theirs is his but he has to beg for it wherein they can just take whatever they wish from him.  ... like his kids for instance!

she's gone as far as giving me a schedule wherein it would be 'most convenient' for her and her husband and mom to have the kids in town.  keep in mind the kids have their own schedules, the exwife has her own schedule, school has a schedule, the custody agreement has one, etc.  so now we need to work around her schedule too?  i think NOT!

the children were to be here for the weekend of the 4th.  they were not here last year on the 4th thus it was his holiday this year.  however, he and i had personal chaos and felt it was not the best idea to bring the children into the mess.  we rescheduled for the following week.

according to the schedule his sister gave me the 4th was ideal and the following week (now - when we have them due to rescheduling) was not good at all due to her inlaws being in town.

sunday nite while at a restaurant similar to chucky cheese for one of the girl's birthday his sister approached me while he was in the game room with his children.  it was me, his mom and his sister.  she asked me why the children didn't come the weekend prior to.  i explained to her that it had to be rescheduled due to some scheduling conflicts ... the real reason being none of her business but i didn't tell her that.  she got very upset telling me about not having them the year prior to for the 4th and that it was his holiday this year, etc.  she went on to get even more upset exclaiming how he wasn't going to have them the full 6 weeks he's supposed to have them each summer.  i attempted to calm her but i failed.  i told her, "even if the week wouldn't have been rescheduled, he still wouldn't have them for the entire 6 weeks this summer.  getting upset about it isn't going to help anyone nor get us any further.  we are going to have to do something next year in order to make certain we get them the entire 6 weeks allotted but this year we're just thankful to have them for a week at a time whereas last year we didn't get them but every other weekend like with the normal schedule."  she got very very upset and said, "but we miss them!"  and i said, "just imagine how their father feels ... they ARE HIS children."  she got up and walked away at this point.

the following nite we went to their house to pick the girls up - they'd spent sunday nite and monday day there as is customary - spending the first nite in town with gramma and auntie.  the sis/aunt/daughter was talking about a certain kind of flower and i commented that i too had carried it down the aisle.  she replied, "oh at which wedding?"  she didn't stop and wait for an answer she just shot me a 'go to hell' look and kept talking.

this isn't the first time this has happened.  my s.o. even commented that he now understood why his exwife didn't like his mom and sis and that he always knew she was a ***** but never knew to this extent just HOW bad she was. 

i told him that it had to stop immediately and once the girls leave for home we'd have to sit down with them and hash things out.

the fact of the matter is this woman has taken no time to get to know me.  she has no notion why i've been married and divorced twice - one got his mistress of 3 yrs pregnant and the other ended up being violent with a psycho mother to which he even admits she's a nut!  why would a good christian girl try to hurt someone with their past?  why would she continue with her snide remarks and why would her mother continue to share information with her daughter knowing she was going to do this?  i don't find it very christ-like for these self professed 'good christians' ... do you?

and they wonder why we refuse to go to church!

 

AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
31-35, F
4 Responses Jul 18, 2007

September 4th, 2007 at 11:18PM<br />
Constant, I don't understand why your husband hasn't put things straight, first of all your husband ,you and the X wife should be the only one to schedule the childrens visits. Respect goes two ways, and wanting to keep quiet out of respect, or not wanting to cause problems and allowing this woman to be snide with you is fueling her to continue.As far as reading the bible or going to church that should be up to you and your husband, no one else. you both seemed to have stared off wrong, take control back, a family meeting should be called and your husband needs to step up, you are two grown adults and don't need to be dictated to. It may be uncomfortable for awhile but if they want to have a relationship with their son and grandchildren they will have to abide by your ground rule. I say this as a mother and grandmother, the umbilical cord needs to be severed and they need to respect you two as adults.Tough love.... Constant if your husband knew about your mairrages and loved and wanted to marry you , his parents should have been told, by your husband and he should have gotten them told if they disrespected you.

perhaps i can find a local chapter of "the church of satan" and bring them some literature and really freak their a$$e$ out! rofl

nice!!! thanks, em and scamutz ... LOL!

If you want to infuriate them further, START GOING TO CHURCH!... ANY church but theirs! heheehehehee