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I'm Invisible...

My husband's "addiction" to xbox is ruining our relationship.  I dread the weekend every week.  He does nothing but play.  It has caused so many fights not to mention hurtful words that don't seem to ever go away.  I am so close to just leaving.  I don't know what to do anymore.  He is so defensive over it as if it is a living breathing thing!  There is a difference is playing to play and playing all the time and neglecting the important things that keep a relationship going...

Just wanted to vent....  and if anyone posts telling me I should play can forget it.  I have tried it all and nothing changes!

I know I am not alone out there....

shedazzle shedazzle 36-40, F 15 Responses Nov 1, 2008

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Hey I'm 22 year old f and my bf of 7 years is doing the exact same thing every night. On 3 nights of the week he comes to bed and the rest I'm alone. He keeps saying he will delete his account but never does. What do I do?

I've just been reading everyone's comments, it's so sad reading them all. My husband met a girl online (we'd only been married 5 months!) he started playing in a lobby together and then had private chats and swapped numbers. The messages soon became sexual and she was sending him pictures of her bits etc. to this day it makes me feel sick, when I found him out, he smashed his phone up on my face so I'd never be able to see what was said between them Though he didn't physically cheat I'm still heartbroken. all that trust destroyed so early on in the marriage. It was so out of character for him but he has apologised. But even when he plays now, I still worry- the amount it plays in there, it's no wonder he met someone! I don't know if I can carry on being in this relationship due to his complete reluctance to reduce the time he spends on there...I just want one evening a week where he has a break, but obviously asking too much!

I am here in the same situation, the worst part for me is we just have a litle baby of 9 months and he prefer play a stupic game call Vega conflict from a stupic web site call Kixeye that playing with our baby. I feel like i am a single mother.

This is what I worry about but I love him too much to leave :(

I'm right there with u my husband plays for hours I beg him to just even watch a movie with me if its a good night at 1 or 2 in the more he will spend an hour with me then fall asleep he wants me to stay up thhat late when we have two kids I have to take care of in the morning but I'm controlling I'm the bad Guy according to my husband

I hate computer games and video games too!!! I hate how my husband is so addicted to them he'll do bad in his exams or fail to hand in assignments (he's a mature student) because he was playing his stupid games instead of studying (or watching videos of other people playing games on youtube). I'm paying his university fees so he's wasting my damn money and he doesn't seem to care, I hate it, his behaviour makes me hate him and makes me think about leaving him every time I see him on the stupid game again. He sits indoors on sunny days with the curtains closed like a vampire, he even takes the laptop into the toilet with him.

I'm also religious, and when we first married he was too, but now he's not into religion at all, he's rather play games or watch videos when it's time to pray. Marrying someone religious was one of the most important things to me when we got married and he knew that, so I feel like he deceived me and he was just pretending to be religious to impress me.

His behaviour means it's hard for me to respect him, or keep loving him or want him physically anymore. I can't trust him to get anything done. I wish he would change because we have a baby son and he is a good father to him (one thing he actually is good at!). I don't want to leave him, I want him to be the person I married... but maybe that person was just in my imagination... =(

This will end up being the same guy on here venting because his wife cheated on him. If you can't do it with your wife, don't do it more than you spend time with your wife the way I see it. Me AND my wife enjoy video games from time to time, but I make sure we do things together as a couple. I would never pick a damn game system over another person. That's just dumb as hell.

well done AngryGuy for commenting. You're damn right - you've taken the opportunity to spend time with your wife and do the unsociable thing when shes asleep.<br />
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That's compromise. <br />
Sounds like the other commenters hubbys do not wish / have to compromise.<br />
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I'm sure you don't complain when the missus wants to watch x-factor or that essex crap.<br />
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Ladys if you cannot stand it, demand change or leave. (or beat them at their game - nice 1 Lefthimlastweek }:o) )

The worst thing is when you're laying in bed crying and he's too busy playing xbox to even notice :/

Thanks for making me feel like some one else knows. And I'm sorry we are both hurting because those silly ***** are obsessed :(

Been the there

I am in the same boat. There are days i just want to take the xbox out in the street and run over the dang thing. My husband has named his xbox "beth" i have thought about just packing up the kids and leaving but the sad thing is where will i go? I cant take care of three teenage kids without his income. He spends all his time on that stupid game then expects me to be able to come to bed and have sex with him, or as he calls it making love please its just sex because it is expected. I am so tired of being alone. Teenagers learn by examples and boy is he sitting a good one.... I am so sick of life its not even funny.

I know the feeling :/ used.
He won't listen to you and so as you want for him to spend time with you, but he can bend everything to his advantage so he gets to play xbox and gets sex from you..
it's really sad you mentioned teenage kids aswel, He must be older then, (not saying you are old just older than the usual gamer),
I think you should leave, It takes quite a bit for a guy to open there eyes and come into reality

I feel exactly the same! Yesterday did it for me, we both had the day so could of done something nice like lunch or just walk the dog whilst our girls were at school but no had to watch him on Xbox all day chatting to his mates!! I felt physically sick the only time he sort of talks is if I instigate conversation and I'm fed up of it, I feel so alone! We have two beautiful daughters and he can't even ask how their day has been it repulses me, I can't talk to him about it as he turns it on me starts with verbal abuse! I feel like Ive had it but feel scared to leave where would we go, financially? but surely to have nothing would be better than this! He says I don't pay him enough attention...joke!! I can't bl@@dy get near him!

Well I am going through the same thing. I asked my husband for "designated play time" and while it seems sad we would have to ask for this, the sad news is. It doesn't work. You give an inch they take a mile every time. I wish there was something that all of us women could do about the Video Game addicted husbands.

I text him this link in hopes he'll read it.. Yea it's midnight I'm in bed alone.. Again.. He's next door but he gets all annoyed when I go in to talk f2f because his little teeny bopper friends can hear him. If he doesn't change I'm leaving

you are not alone! my husband does the same thing. every second he is not sleeping or working he is on his damn computer playing video games. he wont even eat dinner with me he just wants me to bring it to him while he plays. if i dare ask him to get of it is a huge fight. he wont even speak to me when he is on that damn thing. i have empathy for you because i know it can drive you crazy. it makes me feel like he loves his computer more than me.<br><br />
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i think if you can you sould leave because he is selfish and most likely doesnt care about your realationship anymore<br><br />
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i wish you luck

It's ironic that it's a 'husband' and not a boyfriend, There doesn't seem to be an age where they actually grow up :/ and realize the damn game isn't real

My husband can't snap back to reality when I'm throwing dishes at him because he's upsetting me by the way he's talking to me if I interrupt his game.

I am crystal swans bf I am nothing like these people I have a job other hobbies apart from the xbox although I do admit that I do play it a lot but nothing to the extent to what I've been portrayed as I'm actually cut up so to speak because people like you are telling my partner that I don't care about our relationship wtf would you know and how dare you pass on judgement like that I'm not like any of your husbands I spend time with my partner I'm not on the Xbox all the time I have difficulty sleeping some nights so instead of staring into complete darkness for hours on end ill play a bit of Xbox just so I'm not bored I finished work at 10 tonight right so i need to wind down before I head to bed oh btw I don't do this every night either in fact there are seldom nights that I don't come to bed. Look unfortunately you're husbands and partners are sick but I'm not if I had kids and I had to give up the xbox I would in a heartbeat I would choose another one of my hobbies eg guitar vocals art working on my book etc because

I bought my husband his Xbox and quickly realized he was talking to 15 year old boys playing Halo online more than he was spending time with me...so I learned how to play. I got really good and kicked his *** so much that he doesn't like to play anymore. It felt so good to T-bag him.

How did the plan go? Did he actually start spending time with you? My husband comes home after work and plays all night, except when he watches tv, then all weekend. 30 hours or more every week. He will not take one day off and totally ignores his 7 mo. son and our marriage and expects everything in our relationship to be great without putting any effort into it! It's not always the X-box, though. Now he plays computer games. If it's not one game, it's another and it has only gotten worse over the 4 years we have been together. <br />
And he says that he's not addicted and gets so defensive. I hate it when he gets "sick" and stays home during the week to play. I love it when he is gone. I just wish he would work more.

I am the same as well at least ur husband works, well mine doesnt so he's on that xbox 24hrs, I really hate him, i am sick of him, he has no money, is an alcoholic, and we live with his parents in a room in a B&B, im currently studying and have to work at the same time, hes always wanting money, i just want to get rid of him, he makes me sick. I know the feeling and they just don't realise. I hate the xbox

I tried something new last night... I asked him if he would consider playing on designated nights and dedicate at least 2 nights a week for us time... I hope this works :(