My Inlaws Are Stingy MisersI just realized I hate my inlaws. I've been married almost 6 years. From the beginning I knew my FIL was a self absorbed ******* and that my MIL was an unemotional clueless aloof doormat, but they can be both generally nice, so whatever they did that pissed me off I would try to forget because my husband is a good guy and father and I did want to cause family drama.
I lost my job in May 2011. I made 2/3's of the annual income and I have two kids under 5. My severance was running out in November and I had warned my husband that when that happened he would have to make the decision to hit our retirement accounts OR reach out to his father (who has a net worth of about 2 to 5 million dollars with no debt as he constantly reminds everyone) for help on the monthly mortgage beginning in December.
Well, my husband has never used his family connections (his uncle is rich too) to either further his career or for anything else, and this was the first time that he was going to ask his father for anything in his 41 year old life. My husband is one of two brothers, the other brother I think receives money from time to time, but I can't confirm and in any event my FIL is cheap so it could not have been much money over the years. In addition, my FIL did not have to pay for my husband's college education because he got a full sports scholarship.
Ok, so my husband asks for the money (5K monthly) for five or six months until I get a job and my FIL proceeds to tell him that the loan will be conditioned on us working with a financial advisor. I was like "what?"". How can you condition a loan to your son in these economic times when I lost my job due to no fault of mine? I complied to be cooperative and because I sincerely appreciated the loan.
So, these past several weeks we have sent in the last 2 years of tax returns, the home insurance declaration page, pre-job loss and post-job loss cash flow statements, mortgage statements, home tax rates etc. The financial advisor then tells me that he will need our individual credit reports. I hit the roof. Wow. What an obnoxious, invasive request. What is my FIL, the FBI? He's worse than a bank. I was so offended that we are not going down to their home for Christmas (waterfront on a golf course) and am thinking of separating from my husband who always takes their side. He is not offended and does not see anything wrong with this.
In the course of my marriage and pre-marriage relationship with my husband I have worked fulltime. Never asked anyone for help. I help my family, made double what my husband made, own two other properties in conjunction with my siblings and have been independent. Never asked my inlaws for money. I paid for most of the wedding.
I don't want to be associated with these people anymore.
dealingwithmartians 41-45 9 Responses 1 Dec 9, 2011