Not Sure What To Think...

I've been married for 7 yrs. and have always had issues w/my IL's. Mostly with my MIL, and 2 SIL. I feel like I'm in competition with them for my husband, which feels weird. Anyway, they never make me feel accepted or good enough.

My FIL doesn't bother me too much and my BIL is nice. At one time in the beginning I felt closer to him then I do now and I need some advice as to why.

When I moved in w/my husband, he would call to talk to him. He'd be asleep or say he didn't wanna talk, so I would talk to him. After a while he didn't ask for husband and we'd just talk. He would tell me alot about him and whenever he had a bad night @ work, he'd call and I'd cheer him up.

He would call me alot in the morning too before I went to work and we'd watch the same show together. For me it was like having the brother I never got to have.He'd talk about girls he dated in the past, one's he thought were hot now and stuff he was into and made me laugh.

At Christmas that yr. my husband and I got engaged. Everyone was very happy for us, but my BIL. When I showed him my ring he leaned over and said,"Does Dad know yet?" In an irritated tone and then walked away, which upset me b/c I thought he'd be excited to have me as his SIL.

My husband and I got pregnant and soon after then his wife got pregnant too, then he didn't call much anymore.He seems different towards me, less happy and kinda pissed off at the world almost. I could tell his wife never wanted me to even hug him goodbye when we were leaving too. I've noticed that he rarely wears his wedding ring, which IDK maybe some guys just don't.

I haven't talked to his family much b/c we had a falling out, but his sister got married last summer and we went to the wedding,but he seemed happy to see me, showed me to me seat and at the reception, husband kept leaving my side to go mingle w/family and he kept me company most of the night, whichticked his wife off, but was comforting for me.He even asked me while my husband was sitting there if I wanted him to get me anything, which ticked his wife off.

When we were getting ready to leave, he hugged me and I felt sad b/c I felt close to him again and missed him so much. He told me he missed me and he loved me and hugged me tight. I got a little emotional b/c I was surprised when he said those things to me. He also took a picture of me and my daughter at the wedding on his phone. Is this strange?

A few weeks ago, I got a one ringer. His # came up on the phone log, but that was it. Not sure if it was just dialed by mistake or something else?
I'm not really sure if my BIL hates me like the rest of my IL's do or if he cares. I have no contact with him and not sure if I should try. He's the only one I respect. What do you think?

Thank you"

Gabby131327 Gabby131327
2 Responses Feb 20, 2012

Thank you for comment! Sometimes b/c of the way my IL's have treated me for the past 8 yrs, I'm not sure how any of them feel about me.<br />
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Sometimes, I've wondered myself if he has feelings for me too, but he's never come out and said he does, so I guess I didn't want to embarrass myself by assuming. Since, I have wondered too if he's attracted to me, I feel better knowing I'm not being conceited or wrong. Maybe you're right that I have similar feelings for him, which is why he acted jealous of my DH and I getting engaged.<br />
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I did notice his # on CID about 3 months ago. I didn't answer b/c I wasn't sure who it was. Could've been my SIL calling from his phone for all I know. I don't accept calls from any of my IL's. It rang twice and then he must have hung up. About a month later, I called but he never called back. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, IDK.<br />
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Maybe next time I do talk to him, I should find out exactly how he does feel about me, so I don't have to wonder anymore.

It seems to me that this BIL of yours had/has a thing for you. i think there's a bit of jealousy on his part that you married his brother and that either you didn't pursue him or that maybe that takes away time he wants with you, I'm not sure. But I really do think he is attracted to you and does have feelings that I think he thinks you might have shared for him. <br />
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Its natural and completely normal for you to feel close to your BIL because he was so forthcoming in his acceptance of you in the beginning. There is nothing wrong with trying to maintain a relationship with your BIL and that even if he decides he can't be bothered to do the same, that it really isn't your <br />
Fault or something for you to feel worried about. The fact your BIL was the only one kind enough to accept you when no one else would is a good indication that you will always be on good terms with him no matter the circumstance or his erratic moods. <br />
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Good luck!