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Dont Wanna Upset My Partner

This is great, this is the first time I will get to say these things to anybody. First of all, how do you deal with.knowing your in laws are total white trash. I know its really judgemental but all my family members work, have an education, have travelled and look clean. My in laws however are the exact opposite. My FIL is a racist, sexist, homophobic POS. He is about 350 lbs and does nothing. If there is a family dinner he doesn't help to prepare anything just comes to the table when the food hits the table. Same thing when he's done eating, he just leaves everything and walks away. He is the laziest most negative person you could ever imagine. My MIL is pretty much the same. Their idea of getting out of the house is wobbling to the bar 3 houses down to drink what little money they do have away. The son is the exact same, smokes drinks, does nothing but sit around and he lives in their basement. Their house is so dirty I'm scared to sit on the couch. My wife is nothing like them but she defends them tooth and nail. I honestly don't know to do because I cannot stand them. Hey anger me so much I hate being in the same room as them and to top it off they treat my wife fairly poorly as well. Advice please!!!
drivenmad78 drivenmad78 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 28, 2012

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OMG, you have sooo described my family!!! I am so ashamed of them & my poor husband knows that is a sore subject for me. He doesnt bring it up much. We both have worked our butts off to get where we are. I do not allow them to have access to my life & my kids because they accuse me of being snobbish now & blame my husband for "taking" me away & have even told ppl that he is mean to me. Although they had used me as a doormat for years, I got pissed when I found out that they were bad mouthing my hubby & children!! I used to feel responsible for them & used to try to help them. But they refused to help their selves. I wouldnt "bash" her family & if you do feel the need to say something to her about them, try to put it as tactfully as possible. If she insists on visiting them, have her go alone. Just tell her that seeing her folks stresses you out. Realize that she loves them, but there is NO law that says you have to like them or even see them!!