Mooching In Laws

The background of my story is, Hubby & I have been together for about 12 years. I come from what I thought was the most messed up family in history. I had one child when hubby & I first met, whom he has raised. His parents did not want him with me because of my family & the fact that I already had a kid. Despite the fact that both of his parents worked, hubby handed them money all the time. (They claimed he OWED it for various reasons). A few years later, hubby's dad got sick & lost his job & was CONSTANTLY hounding us for money. I became pregnant with our first child together, hubby & I were thrilled, his parents were not.  After baby was born, they would drop by to see the baby, only when they needed money. Within a year, I got pregnant again & his parents flipped!!! They would say things like "How can you afford any more kids?"  & tell us to go get fixed!!! Shortly after that baby was born we finally got approved to buy a home. Apparently, hubby thought his parents would be proud of him.( They only ratcheted up the manipulation to milk him for more money, even though MIL was still working & FIL  was receiving disability payments! ) His parents offered to rent us their home instead of us buying one of our own? We closed on our house 2 weeks before our tax returns came in. His parents got almost all of the money from closing & over half of our tax return{ a total of $5800!!!) He figured they would leave us alone for a while... NOPE. The call constantly for $20 here, $100 there, they are nickel'ing & Dime'ing us to death!! For the children's birthdays & christmas, they will buy expensive gifts for my older child & all the other kids in the family, but the 2 kids I have with their son rarely get anything & if they do, its cheap/inappropriate. (They gave my 2 year old a bag of marbles for christmas). I swear, they resent my children for coming between them & that paycheck!!!!  Hubby finally put his foot down when he saw the nice big flat screen tv his parents had bought, along with very nice EXPENSIVE gadgets~ Only the best, top of the line for them!! When dear old dad cant guilt money out of my hubby, he sends my MIL. Oh & she is slick!! She will just start wring her hands & sighing & acting all distraught. She just dont know what she is going to do, cause her husband spent all the money again. My hubby, like a dumbass will empty his wallet for her every time!!   I have actually struggled to feed my kids because of that witch!! Although, my hubby has agreed not to give them any money & not to discuss our finances with either of them anymore. They know how to work him & will eventually start milking him again. I have honestly thought about filing for divorce & child support. I adore my hubby, but the needs of my children come first!! 
MommaJoJo MommaJoJo
4 Responses Jun 15, 2012

at least they don't live with you

Set boundaries and follow through. Their behavior is just ridiculous and immature. If they get upset with you for saying no, that's OK! It's NOT your problem!

My sympathies go out to you. My in-laws cost me thousands before me and the wife wised up. I was noticing how many times in your post that you used capitals and exclamation points. You are amazed by their conduct. That is how these types of people are able to operate. We tend to think that everyone is like us. You and your husband are probably decent and responsible people, so it is natural to think that others are as well. This allows them to get away with their outrageous behavior. When you guys wise up they will go on to the next victims. They will hate you for all that you have done for them. I noticed he thought they would be proud of him for the house. Withholding approval is just another form of manipulation. They want their children always working for that approval, but somehow never measuring up. What the hell have they ever accomplished in their lives? I think your husband just needs time to see what they are all about, and set some boundaries. If you guys can get a handle on this before too much longer, I think you can look back someday and all this will not have cost you too much in the big scheme of things. Good Luck.

My IL's do the EXACT same thing!! Difference being NEITHER of them work and BIL & SIL expect handouts as well. :/