Sociopaths Are Not "made".

I have four children - two of them are sociopaths. These two as infants were completely unlike the other two - they screamed incessantly and could not be helped. they appeared to have no conscience. I would stick up for them against their teachers, our neighbours, the police but I can see now I was duped. I was just too naive to believe they were capable of what they were accused.
I nursed them until they were 8 months old. I read out loud to them until they were 8. we went for nature walks, I hired a tutor for my eldest. there was trip after trip to psychologists TRYING to find out how to fix them...and then there was the police, the dates at court, the weeks that I cried because they were in jail or some group home.
They have stolen and broken every valuable thing I ever owned. They have cost me every rent deposit from their destroying our apartments while I was at work. the stress became unbearable while I was at work fearing what they were doing at home and the police came to my place of employment twice one summer so I kept having to switch jobs. I cherished the younger one even though he was more destructive and cruel because e was honest. he knew that was why I could stand him. The older kid would lie as soon as look at you and for no reason at all. I would calmly lecture and ask them "why?" I showered them with affection and the consequences for their actions were severe but it never appeared to matter to them.
I gave them life and they have ruined mine.
VivalaLeta VivalaLeta
41-45, F
4 Responses Oct 19, 2012

You described my older brother and mother's relationship. He abandoned her three years before she died. Luckily I was the "good" daughter and took care of her until her last breath. He can not understand how his behavior got him written out of her will. He was cruel and creepy to me as a kid. I will never sleep under the same roof with him again! When we were small, my mother did everything right and he still turned out to be a sociopath. Please don't let anything or anyone ruin
your life. Love your normal children and accept that the other two are lost souls who can not change. You are still young and have lots of life ahead of you to enjoy.

My daughter is only seven and ive had to call the cops several times on her. Shes malevolent. Dispiteful. She bites kicks screams. Terrorize s her siblings and me. She calld me horrible names and lies. I have had her in therapy. In home behavioral support. Psychiaty. The works. I lost my job due to her refusal to go to day care. I had too many late calls. She constantly flirts with men. I dont know what to do anymore.

Can your daughter be hospitalized as a danger to herself and others in your state?
If so she can be observed over a longer period of time and possibly medicated to at least blunt her violence. You owe it to your normal kids to get her OUT of your home before she injuries, emotionally scars, or even kills them. As a sister of a sociopath I was repeatedly molested and terrorized until I finally left home. I am 57 and I still struggle with the damage he did to me as a child.

You have done the best you can for them once the world kicks their butts for a while they will appreciate you and regret their decisions. "A hard head makes makes a soft *** " my grandma use to say. Meaning eventually, the consequences catchup to you.

I'm In the same place....I hate admitting it, but I wish they would just go away

My mother and I were somewhat relieved when my sociopath brother vanished when he couldn't get any more money from us. Self preservation and emotional boundaries
are nothing to feel guilty about. Sociopaths do not change and you can not help them.