See I was stupid. As a child I was active and never got big but as soon as I started going to middle school and comming home at 5 in the evning, I couldnt go outside. I didn't get much exercise and I always had a big appitite. No I didn't get fat but I did get bigger. When I say bigger, I don't mean I blew up. I was a skinny little girl who filled out in...well all the wrong places. My belly got bigger but not my butt. My arms did but not my breasts. And my thighs got bigger but not my calves. When Iw as in 8th grade I wondered why i looked so weared in shorts but I had no knowledge on feminine beauty so I didn't know I didn't look like most of the other girls. Later on when i got into high school I realized that my thighs were too big. I'm not saying having big thighs are bad. Big thighs are sexy but only when you have big calves to compliment them with. My calves are tiny and that symbolizes that I have a small body fr
ame and I wasn't meant to weigh this much. I weighed 138-140 at the time (5'2"). So I had these big thighs and small calves and that did not look good at all. I couldn't wear tight stretch jeans (which were in at the time) because my legs weren't shaped right. Throughout high school I tried to diet but my appitite always got the better of me. Finally I went to college and at the college I go to, there is nothing but skinny white girls with beautiful legs. Honestly white people where blessed from birth to have georgeous legs. Not like me. if I get even a little bit over weight or even when I'm right where my BMI says I should be, I STILL have excess fat on my thighs and back (yes I have roles). So my freshman year i decided to get serious and decided to lose weight. So far I've lost 12 pounds but it's not enough. I use to think that 125 would be perfect for me because it's the perfect weight for other women of color my age and height. but it's not because of my body type. I have a tiny body type so I won't look right until I get into the teens (113-119) or maybe less. also I talked to someone who knows about weightloss and he said that I have the type of body where my thighs are the first to gain and the last to lose. So basically I HAVE to get down to a low weight if I want the kind of legs I seek. My calves aren't getting any bigger so Ive got to work hard to that atleast my legs are propotionate. But that is about 10 more pounds away. Until then, it's loose jeans for me until I get my legs in check.
Ugly it's not fair how people like me try so hard to have a good body and other people have good bodies without even trying, but i guess that's the way God made it and maybe, just maybe, my body will be beautiful once I lose the weight. I have no problem with my shape. I liek it. It's the fat i can't stand. Girls my weight have no back fat but I do and I can't stand that. I haven't met one girl my height and wieght that still has back fat. not one. I just don't think it's far that i have to go above and beyond to acheive the same thing the other girls are practically given.
My best friend in high school was my height and 120 pounds but if I actually wanted to reach her 'size' (her waist hips, and leg size) I'd have to be about 110. That's how unfair this is. And does she exercise? No. Does she eat whatever the heck she wants? Yes. But here I am working out everyday (not 3-5 times a week but EVERYday) and eating one omlet, a side, and a bananna for a evening snack once a day. If I eat anymore than that I don't lose weight. Unfair, unfair, unfair.