Why I Am Miserable Atm.

So I know it sounds like another depressed teenager sad because of a breakup, and I know it happens to most people. I guess I just never thought it would go down the way it did though, and I would be the one left feeling like a piece of garbage. When I was a junior in high school, I started dating a girl who was a seemingly good girl. She doesn't do drugs, party, or anything along those lines. I never would have suspected her cheating on me, in the literal sense of the word. We had broken up twice, due to her pessimist demeanor, and I'm definitely not a negative person. We fought alot, but we always made up, and had no problems besides that. She was clingy, and I am not. She got jealous if I hung out with friends, even when they were all guys, and yet, she could hang out with anyone she wanted, girls or guys, and I didn't have to know. We dated for about eight months, and they we split again because her home life seemed to be making her a bit crazy, and I found it hard to talk to her anymore. Not even a week later, she started talking to someone who was supposed to be my friend. They never actually started dating, but they basically acted like they were. A few weeks go by, and on the night of homecoming, I get a text from her saying that she missed me, and that the ex friend was not her type, and she didn't want to be without me. Happily, we took another shot at it, but not without some difficulties involving the ex friend. I guess in retrospect, they were better for each other, because they both had terrible home lives, but even I noticed he treated her like garbage. A few weeks of being back together go by and everything seems fine, that is, until I get a phone call of the ex-friend telling me that the ex-girlfriend had cheated on me with him a few days prior. I didn't want to believe it, and she denied it on all fronts, but I could sense it. In my mind, however, I thought if she did, and she regrets it, maybe she won't do it ever again, and we could just ignore the whole thing. Well time went by and the same negative girlfriend came back, and I decided to sit through it this time, and see if it would pass. It didn't, and I became more and more frustrated. Then, on the eve of a massive snow storm, I get an e-mail, I get texts, and personal messages telling me that she had been spending alot of time with the ex-friend. I then received an e-mail, from an unknown source, of his car at her house. It was at that point I felt like I had been stabbed. Why would she lie to my face so many times, and continue to insult not only me, but the ex-friend. I guess she was only in it for herself, and to hell with anyone Else's feelings. Well I stopped caring at that point, I stopped telling her that I loved her, and the other garbage that she wanted to hear. I was hurt, and it was hard to fake happiness. So a week or so elapses and she tells me that I don't love her. I just stand in the middle, exclaiming, "whatever you say", over and over again. I dint want to fight, I just want to end this. So finally, she says what I was waiting for. We ended it, and on surprisingly good terms. She didn't know, however, that I knew she cheated on me. My best friend, one I can trust with my life, told me he had known, and had planned on telling me that day, and that she was at that very moment we broke up, with the ex-friend she had cheated with. I didn't let on that I had felt so awful inside about the whole thing. To this day, no one knows how awful I truly feel. I have been told by EVERYONE that knows, that I am so much better than the ex-friend, in looks, and personality, and that she was crazy to do what she did, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I guess I just feel betrayed that someone who claimed to care about me as much as she did, could lie to my face time and time again, and then the day it ends, be on another guy like she was. I know it's high school, and there are other fish in the sea, and I would be lying if I said that I hadn't been interested in other girls while we were dating, but I didn't act on that out of respect. I don't know why I feel so bad about it, it has happened to me before. The only difference between this one and the last one was the person and the sex. I know that sex had a big thing to do with it, and I wasn't the one to apply pressure. I am not looking for sympathy, but I would like any words of encouragement I could get. Thank you for reading this, I'm sorry if I sound pathetic.

BDell92 BDell92
18-21, M
Feb 27, 2010