Never Disappointed

I awake every morning knowing it's going to be a crappy day. So far I'm not disappointed. I'm asked how can I sleep 12 hours, easy it's the only time I'm in control.
Due to my own stupid actions I've become part of the system. The rules are stupid and I don't like being told what to do. I nearly survive in the system but if I leave it I'm more messed up.
One group is telling me to get off my butt and the other is telling me that I shouldn't do anything. Ugggh!
I want to tell everyone to mind their own business but I'm dependent on them.
It's outrageous that at my age I still have such a messed up life.
When I give up life gets worse, when I try to improve it gets worse. People have no clue how lucky they are, I'm ready to blow up.
Badina Badina
46-50, F
May 19, 2012