Not What I Wanted

Ugh, how to begin. I love my bf we've been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old boy. I was 24 when I got pregnant. I thought that I wanted a child, I feel like such an idiot now. I am stuck at home, we have too many animals. a great Dane who is old and barks all day at everything.. A giant mastiff that my sisters ex gave us, who just destroys everything. We gave him back but he fought with his bull dog, so he tried 4 other homes and he destroyed them too, Randomly poops n pees in our house. I want to put them to sleep, the great Dane isn't much longer to this world bit it will cost $200+ for her, the mastiff is only 1 so I feel guilty BC he is young. And will cost way more then $200 to put him to sleep. I k ow no one will want him and I do t want to give him to someone who will beat him forever.. My kid is super annoying, impatient, mean , usually he is trying to have fun / funny. But he will spit and think it's funny act act like a dog. I feel bad but I can't just let him run around screaming and spitting.. He torments our animals. Constantly screams, never listens. 2 of our cats aren't fixed and I just want to kick them out, but I don't want them to keep having more n more kittens, but font want to dump $100 on fixing them .. I am soo tired of cleaning poop n pee alll day, the house, litter boxes, outside in the grass, baby's somewhat potty trained but still will have accidents
we have an old house it never feels clean or comfortable. i can never keep up with my dishes and laundry even tho i do it alll day long.My bf works m-f 7-7.. And every other Saturday.. He's awesome, by the time he comes home I so so frustrated and overwhelmed , I try to give him the love and attention he deserves but I am full with resentment. I always have worked full time, since he was born I have had 1 pt job, and since that ended I haven't gotten one call for even an interview. We have no friends,no social life.the only time we did anything was go to my parents, but after 30 years my mom decided to have a trial separation. But I hate my life and never thought this is how I would live. There is soo much wrong I don't know where to start to make me happy.
awheezie awheezie
Sep 6, 2012