My Life Is Worth Hating

I'm 18 years old, I have never kissed a girl, I don't even know how to talk to people in general. My social skills are amazingly bad. I failed a math test yesterday that I know I should have been able to do well on. I have no friends, no idea how to get any, and have had none for years. Talk about lonely. When I was little I seem to remember having friends but I guess we just drifted apart. I talk to myself more than I do to other people. I am always afraid that people are judging me whenever I am around them and people in general make me uncomfortable, and since there are people everywhere this makes getting through the day an annoying experience. Every time I think about where I am in life I just get really restless and I feel like running somewhere or something, just so I could make any kind of progress. It feels like there's no hope for things ever getting better. There are only two people in the world I get along with: my dad and one of my brothers. My dad is dying of cancer. All that I have going for me in life is that I'm in college, even though I don't even know if I want to major in what I am since I don't know what I want to do. I guess some people have it worse, like starving kids in india or something. My pride (and I don't know how I have anything like pride) would never let me whine like this in real life. If I ever fail out of college I'm going to join the army and hope I die in Iraq.
FoolYourself FoolYourself
18-21, M
4 Responses Dec 1, 2007

Honestly, you sound like such a nice person. I know life seems really pointless right now and you feel as though bad thing just seem to happen to you. I guess in a way I can relate, because just a few months ago my best friend past away because of cancer. She was only 18, it was really hard for me cause even I'm really out going and social I really tell nothing to anyone about my family problems except for her, but now that she's gone I feel so alone. I'm currently working 2 jobs and now I'm gonna work at the hospital for overnight shifts because my mom lost all our money, I'm moving out soon because we can't afford to live here anymore and we are in debt and signing up for bankruptcy. Sorry I'm kind of going off. But you know what keeps me going each day is a quote that my best friend lived by " expect for the worst and hope for the best " :) message me anytime if you want to talk, just don't give up just yet!

I'm sorry you're sad. I feel pretty alone in life a lot too. I'm here to talk if you need to.

Omg, that brought a tear to my eye :'(<br />
You sound like such a nice guy, so really the only think your lacking is confidence!<br />
If you EVER need to talk....Im here :)<br />

dats very sad.. im 13 years old.. wen ever u need to talk to anyone den u could talk to me.. im very easy to get along wit. so dnt worry, i wont judge u on how u are or look....