My Pathetic Lifestyle.

  I'm suffering from depression because of my life experience I had in the past that was so pathetic. I've been through so many crises with my family & the people outside, I was always picked on at school.  I've been bckstabbed by people who I thought where my friends, I never even experience a loving relationship because I always get rejected ever since High School.  

  I'm 44 & I'm still living with my mother & sister.  Occasionaly I have suicidal thoughts. I've been through therapists but none of them helped me. I wake up every morning asking myself If I deserve to be alive. Because of this I've become a bitter person, I ignore people or curse them out if they get on my nerves, I have a bitter attitude, I'm not a friendly person because of this BS Ive been through in my life.

People in this world can be so cruel..   I feel so much like hell.. I'm really suffering..

Laura4444 Laura4444
41-45
1 Response May 24, 2012

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I can relate to part of your story; I'm 39 and can't get a partner who loves me and treats me well, I feel very lonely. I wish I had my family with me, that would give me some comfort, but we live far apart. At least you have your family with you. <br />
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At times, I also wonder whether it's worth getting up every morning and keep struggling or if it would be better to just get it all over with. I feel very bad, too.