Hate It With A Burning Passion

So I am going to start off saying that the only reason I'm alive right now is because I have the absolute best person in my life and I love him ..with every ounce of my soul. Hes the only one that makes my life worth while. I talk to him and he straight away makes me smile and laugh. I have NEVER let anyone this close to me. Love you babe if you read this.
Okay now that is out of the way here is my life. If you havent read any of my earlier stories me and my father hate eachother. I'm always put down and emotionally abused. Sometimes he hits me and I totally snap. He called a dip **** a few weeks back and I got grounded. Cuz I chewed out for yet again calling me a name. Like I feel so hated all the time.
I am recovering from anorexia, but I'm truly scared ill relapse. I think I'm overweight constantly though I'm not. It isn't as bad as it use to be, but sometimes ill skip one meal. Rare now, but still do.
I feel like **** because last week I over dosed on pain pills. Then right after I cut up my legs. Like it was so bad I was limping for almost a whole two days. I guess pain kinda feels good. It stings at first, but then the relief of it all. Feels like the world was pushed of your shoulders. Havent done it since last week and hoping for it to stay that way.
I also stay alive for my friends. Should have said that too.. sorry. Just my boyfriend (not saying his name) is the only thing on my mind constantly. Friends are me family. Always have and always will be. You mess with my family you go through me.
Dont realy want to say much more.. depressed enough as is. And I'm sick as hell right now so ugh. Giving myself a head ache. Thanks for reading.
Tatteredheart Tatteredheart
18-21, M
2 Responses Sep 3, 2012

You're really strong , you know . I'm glad that you have a boyfriend who cares and loves you . Hang in there , and if you need someone to talk to , I may be a bit younger but I'm a great listener :)

Thanks! Means a lot :). I'm a bit better. Being able to get out of my house is amazing. Hate school, but the parties I go to are my make up for that. Same tou heed anything just holler

Thats good ! Yeah , i Got your back bro :)

Got your back sis :D

:D thanks

1 More Response

You're a strong and brave kid. I hope you will always see that in you :) I'm happy you have a partner like that who looks after you like that. He sounds like a really awesome guy and I hope your relationship stays strong with him :) Also... your dad sounds like a complete fucktard... but hang in there dude! You have people rooting for you out there as well! Stay strong!

Dude thank you so much. That honestly makes me smile.. You're amazing :). And yeah. Me and him just dont get along. I hope so too. You honestly made my day.