**** My Life

Miserable_Life: My life has been living hell for the last 3 years and I don't see any end to it. i live in a room. not a one bedroom-literally- a room. no food, no kitchen, me, my husband and baby, all trapped here, miserable. i get attacked by the landlords dogs every time i come inside the house, or come out of my room to use the restroom. I thought my life was bad before I got married and pregnant. I thought being pregnant was going to be one of the happiest times of my life, and my husbands. instead I got choked, strangled, punched, beaten and stolen from. the beatings didn't stop after the baby came. just more violence. I didn't fight back. I never fought back. all I did was try to make him happy. my own mother woke up because my husband came home and tried to strangle me to death, yet she still encourages me to stay with him. so does everyone else. they tell me what a bad mother, bad person I am for not having an abortion, they tell me I am a woman so it is my job to suffer through this. it was my fault, everything's my fault. anything bad that happens to my daughter is my fault, because I am the woman, and I am supposed to suffer. i brought this on myself. no matter what choice i make, i am wrong, and a bad person. because i had a baby. how can I argue when the very god who created me hates me. this is what he intended for me. he doesn't have my back. no one does. I am alone in this universe. created to suffer. there is no way out for me. let me die please! just take me peacefully! I paid my dues! haven't I already suffered enough for you? there is nothing for me here! please have mercy on me and just kill me!

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pr1nc3ssdeath pr1nc3ssdeath
22-25, F
3 Responses Nov 26, 2012

Listen princess... life's dealt you some bad sh*t. Standing up directly to the punching is only going to get you more hurt. My free advice (which is worth exactly what you pay for it - nothing) is this... use your opportunities when you get food, take your baby to the free clinic, etc, to begin making contacts... pick someone you think you can trust to connect you with a potential helper. then, make an exit plan. So when you walk away it's clean.

I know you must think about this, "Do I stay or do I go?" Just think about where you might be 5 years from now, on each of those paths. What are you motivated to do? No one in your circle now has your back... so if anyone is going to take action, chase a dream, or even take a next step out of here, it's going to be you.

Think about it, then do what you need to do.

Do you want to share your location?

And all the best! You do have some anonymous cheerleaders here on EP.

max

Life is a blessing.. Hope for good! Dont feel yourself alone! You can also talk me. I am also going through the worst situation, but I still trust in God.. I still hope for better.

You should not feel like this. Trust in Allah. He loves us more than 70 mothers. He give us problems just to make us perfect.
And I think that you are most special for him.. just go to him..find him..