Depressed Army Wife!

Hmm well the way my hatred started was when I got married, I was getting out of a bad bad relationship when I did get out of it I met my now husband for two years next week, and with out barely knowing each other we got married, which I still feel is my fault because I knew better and did it anyway, I was only 21 when I got married and he was 20! Before we got married we were kool and friends then not even a week with in being married our first argument happen and from there never stopped then he deployed and things really got bad, no trust, non stop arguments and so forth! He was gone for almost a year and came back and we agreed everything that happen in Afghanistan would stay there, so it was let go, well soon after he got back I turned 23 and soon after that we found out I was pregnant with our first, pregnancy is suppose to be exciting and fun, I thought he would be letting me know how much he appreciate and love me instead the only time I get flowers is when he mess up, he was leaving me in the house by myself and staying gone and I did want him here but now it seem that he is here I just want him gone, he make broken promises, he don't help me I'm going on 7 months pregnant and have to ask other people for help when he always claiming he's going to do stuff he don't! He's hit me a few times since I been pregnant, he's not at all my dream husband!!! And I know I'm pregnant and I do love my son but all I wanna do sometime is just roll over and die! I try and be healthy as possible being pregnant eat right, not try and get high or anything else that can effect my son, then I tried writing and my husband being as nosey as he is decided to butt in and now have an issue with that! I don't have an escape at all, and when I do get like this I don't want to eat and I know I can't do that cause of my baby, so I'm just stuck all around a bad husband who doesn't help me in an uncomfortable house! My son room is no where near being ready, everything is just ****! And I am sooooo ready to go and just be done I know when we started to have so many arguments I was angry but being pregnant hormones, anger I'm just very very bitter and I never been like this and what's funny is he always saying how he can make my pregnancy easier but then turn around do all the same stupid **** he was doing before! But I'm so fragile now nothing he say to me matters any more, he's pulled my hair and grab my face I don't even care no more I just let him cause I'm tired of talking, I cry every day tears I didn't even think I had left I'm tired of crying, and tired of being tired! I hate my life I truly do, but love my son!
Shontenewlife Shontenewlife
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

You should really speak to someone about this stuff like a sibling/therapist.
Don't take that the wrong way but those types of people can help you get through this. Think about it.

I want too, and the Army give you a way to get help for things like this and we we're seeing a marriage counselor but between him and work and appointments trying to get there on time or at all is hard!
And I try and talk to my husband but then he just tell me that all I do is complain and ***** so I'm just looking for ways to have somebody to talk to!

You're welcome to talk to me anytime...
But speaking to people face to face is much more satisfying, have you tried joining classes?

Thank you, we haven't tried any classes, not a whole lot other then marriage counseling and we want on a retreat, I tried leaving but I hate being out of my house and staying with other people he got orders to leave but he wont stay gone... It's like I have no time to recover from anything and he says he does but then he's right back in my face letting me know how much I complain etc... So we both need some kind of help I think but for him we don't need it and he don't understand neither is trying to that I am really really hurt and I hurt every day cause I'm tired of going through all this stuff, when I know I should be happy I'm not and I know in my heart because our marriage is just bad, we can't even go 3 days with out arguing, I can't even enjoy my pregnancy because of all of this and I really hate I have to bring my son into this situation!

I'm going to be honest with you. I'm a 19 year old college student studying media.
Any worthwhile piece of advise i can give you, you would of most likely heard it all before.
What i do know is, that if you're genuinely unhappy ask yourself what's making me feel this way? And if i remove this negative presence from my life will i then be happy?

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