The Antagonism

I'm living in a world of rivalry composed by the minds of my stupid workaholic and full of complex parents... This is outrageous I can't take this anymore, the only thing I do is: ''how did you write in the test?'', ''does he play music better than me?'' and it is impossible not to think of what other people do. I hate this, it is so much involved in my life that it has reached preposterous levels. It has destroyed my self-esteem, I can't study anymore because I hate it and I perform bad at anything I cared. And all this because of my parents' expectations... I m not a genius god dammit I did well in junior high school, kept that attitude till things got ****** up la any st year in senior, because I ''need to write all 20s out of 20 to reach med school'' and after test the frequent ''how did ___ write. ___? Why didn't you study more to be better than them? With what looks am I going to buy you this/that''. I thinks the reason of all this is because they want to give standards to people around me and give them the opportunity to boss around, but I can't accept this yet. I don't want a reward I want to be left alone to finally surpass my depression (read my other stories if you want to know more) and do better in my life. Last christmas holiday was a paradise but the last days got crumbled up by ''did you study^ν?''. I don't want this anymore, I hate my life because other people do better than me, it's a fact and I know it, but nobody hears me and leave me accept it...

''That stupid jerk did better than you?!''
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2 Responses Jan 16, 2013

Zip honey, i know its easier said than done to say this but,, here goes,,, you have to tell your parents that their constant nagging and pressure is making you feel suicidal and if they have any respect and love for you at all they would open their eyes and see this. Say "you are driving me ******* mental you two",,, have a big blow out say what you need to say then retreat somewhere safe and quiet,,leave the ball in their court see what happens,,,,peace xx boody xx

You do not need to worry about what other people think and you do not have to worry about how well other people do. You have God given talents to be used to better the world; do the best you can and all will be well.