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I Hate My Life

Why

By: rageandhate
Written on February 3rd, 2013
Im not gonna start this by saying i have had a horrible life and all that cause honestly who will care. I am on here because i have found myself cutting myself alot. I am depressed diagnosed with bipolar dissorder,get panic attacks,have tried suicide, i have been sent to the hospital many times. I just hate everyone i hate myself so much. I have never loved anyone. People tell me that i am cold hearted and i am starting to think its true.but the reason i am on here is because i love my cuts i dont know why. I feel useless and worthless can someone try to understand or at least be there
By: rageandhate
Age: 18-21 , Female
199 people have read this story

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20 responses
  • drummerboy4U
    drummerboy4U

    I've known "cutters" in my younger years, and it's usually just that; you know, what you said!! You have no-one to talk with, love, etc.! But you can just go to the park with a friend, get a little high(maybe),and listen to the birds, listen to the creek or bayou, frogs and stuff. Turn off your frigging ear buds!!!!! This world is beautiful,even the city, but I think you're a little separated, and need a listening ear. I will listen.! You also need a facev to face with a professional!! Pease and Love! :) P------------------------------------

    Feb 14
    1 like
  • drummerboy4U
    drummerboy4U

    Yah,I will ! ******* by-polar! That's also making you depressed! You need the right medication and you'll feel better! Most of it sucks, and everyone is different, so you need a shrink to help you with that! I hope that was helpful, if not, get back to me and we can just talk about stuff!!??

    Feb 14
    1 like
    • rageandhate
      rageandhate

      Thanks...yeah i go to my shrink every week but it doesnt work for me.
      Ive tried so much medication that was perscribed to me im pretty much immune to it. ..Medecine doesnt work on me.

      Feb 14
      1 like
  • superficialife
    superficialife

    I understand you... completely.... what things in life have made you feel or realize the things you have?

    Feb 10
    1 like
    • rageandhate
      rageandhate

      Just everything. Everything is always bad. Hiw about u?

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • superficialife
      superficialife

      I feel everything is superficial. That people only have me around as long as I please their senses and am convenient to them. My parents brought me to this world wanting for me to entertain them, they want me to live... but I didn't ask to exist in this world. I didn't make my mind, body, world, "spirit", and I didn't pick the choices I am forced to choose from so I feel like an object simply living for my own desires and preferences... random desires.... random preferences.... I don't see much depth to any of this. And people are so apathetic... they don't care.... each is simply in their own little world... and me... wishing I could evaporate from this ****** world of pretense and fakeness.....

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • rageandhate
      rageandhate

      Wow u just described exactly how i feel. It really sucks to feel like this it is true everyone likes to use people. And that why i hate everyone. And i hate myself for doing what i do for them and letting them use me.

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • superficialife
      superficialife

      I feel the same man.... and I don't get how so many people are so blind to what's obvious... I really don't understand how we haven't grown extinct long ago man.... for real...

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • rageandhate
      rageandhate

      Seriously. I think people just dont like to see whars actually there in front of them and whats true so they just decide to think thats whats nirmal.

      Feb 10
      1 like
    2 More Replies
  • rageandhate
    rageandhate

    =)

    Feb 3
    1 like
  • rageandhate
    rageandhate

    You dont know how much what you said means to me

    Feb 3
    1 like
    • shadedsly
      shadedsly

      my pleasure. besides its true, the type box said reply sincerely and that's what i did

      Feb 3
      1 like
  • rageandhate
    rageandhate

    And thank you

    Feb 3
    1 like
  • rageandhate
    rageandhate

    Wow you are so nice

    Feb 3
    1 like
  • rageandhate
    rageandhate

    But do you think i am weird because of this?

    Feb 3
    1 like
    • shadedsly
      shadedsly

      not at all. i like that you've been willing to share this with me and it can only make me more determined to convince you to love yourself and to see you the way i can. how responsive and sensitive you are is beautiful even when you are accented by the sanguine of blood and no amount of scar on the body could take that from you. not when you can see such a wonderfully open soul . like the kind i see in you

      Feb 3
      1 like
  • shadedsly
    shadedsly

    ill be here when i can, i just need my words even spoken through the screen be something you find worthy of hanging on to

    Feb 3
    1 like
  • rageandhate
    rageandhate

    I guess i love them because its the only way to express that i am deoressed. Andi dont mund if people see them. As long as its nit my family

    Feb 3
    1 like