I totally hate it right now. I've been trying so hard to get it together. My plans get derailed and overtaken by my family.

I feel crushed inside. The dark cloud once again comes back and overtakes me a particle at a time. Getting sucked back into the blackness of the void. My heart darkens with despair.

That didn't take long at all. Longer than before because I had a spark of hope with changing thoughts. But the familiar wins for now. Why try anymore? I'm tired and outnumbered.

So. Where are You, God? You held my hand only to let it go again. I mustn't be worthy enough. I know. Some things even Your blood can't reach.

Hope deferred. Sick heart.
Ludavin Ludavin
51-55, F
Aug 17, 2014