I Want A Divorce From My House.

I actually like my husband, most of the time. I just hate living with him, and especially in this house. I might be okay living with him in another house.

It all started when we were dating and he insisted on buying a house. I really was not for this, I figured we would get married and I encouraged him to wait until after he was married as any wife would want a big say in picking out the house. But of course he and his dog must have a house. He did most of the househunting, I looked at a few when not busy with my work. He was picking out small old run-down houses on the bad side of town - that he could afford on his salary alone. He would ask what I thought of them and of course it was awful compared to my cute apartment on the good side of town so I said, no I won't live there. So he moved up to a house that I agreed was tolerable, but I still thought he should wait until we were married, and could really look and save up, but he insisted he would fix it up and I'd like it. He bought the house and I had to move in and start paying for half.

I guess I was naive and didn't realize the extent of what him buying a home would mean for me for years to come. It was like we became financially married to eachother and this house as soon as HE signed the papers. I pretty much had to move in and he made me pay for half of the mortgage and bills. About 9 months later we did get engaged, and about 9 months after that we got married. Now we have been in this house a little over 3 years and guess what, its still not fixed up. We would fight about everything, who is going to pay for fixing up the place? I never had any extra money and didn't feel that I should have to pay for it anyway since he got us into this mess. He didn't have much money either, so not much was accomplished. And he wouldn't let me hang pictures or choose paint colors on my own, he had to be involved in every decision that was made and he would procrastinate and stall. It took us 3 years just to get all the 1970s wallpaper down and paint the walls. It was hell, but it does seem like it is done. The place still needs all new flooring, countertops, faucets, etc. And the cabinets need refinishing. We never had a housewarming party like all our friends did, because we were too ashamed of the house. We still are too embarrassed to have any but our closes friends over.

He lost his job about 4 months ago and has had no luck, fortunately I got a new job making about 50% more and now I am supporting us, in this house that I hate. I don't make enough to support us and pay for these improvements. So now I get to work all day, come home to a messy ugly house, and a husband that has been sitting on his *** all day. I fantasize about my old apartment and how everything was clean, fresh, worked, was decorated just how I wanted. Even when I eventually do save up the money to get new flooring, the layout of the house is really closed off with small rooms and doorways. So there is no good way to entertain. I think well maybe we could move, but with the economy the way it is, it would be hard for us to break even on the house. And would be hard to get a new loan with the changes in our jobs and the economy. We barely get by. I hate that I was stupid enough to say this house was tolerable and agree to move in and pay for it. I should have said I will not look at any houses with you, unless we are engaged. And I will insist on not buying any house until I find one I love. I really screwed my life up.

I cry almost every weekend when I have to be here all day. I feel like a prisoner. There really is no way to live somewhere else. I am controlled by this house. This is all compounded by the fact that my husband I fight about everything, have stopped sleeping together, he's out of work and depressed all the time, and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.

I've moved up a bit in my career and it would probably help if I could have people from work over for drinks or a backyard bbq to do network with old colleagues, but I really can't do that. People would be shocked to see where I live. You might think I'm a snob, but I just feel that I was cheated out of my white picket fence.

planogal planogal
31-35, F
1 Response Aug 8, 2010

I fully understand. My husband made me take out loans to build a home he loved now his business having closed he is at home almost all the time and I am working and living in a place where I do 4 hour commute daily

I am thinking of walking out but my kids are young..and I don't know what to do and how to be happy if I stay.