I Hate My Marriage

I rushed into marriage 5 years ago, without knowing anything about my husband. I'm an Indian woman and come from a culture where young women are encouraged to have arranged marriages. Well, I wasn't forced into my marriage and picked my husband out of purely my choice. My husband is not a good-looking man and was never physically attracted to him. On the other hand I'm considered to be an attractive woman and well endowed. and work out every day to keep in great shape. We've no children yet and live in a beautiful house, have a high quality lifestyle with absolutely no financial worries. We both have great careers and high paying jobs.

Our marriage was always frought with a lot of arguements and fights over trivial things, but somehow managed to keep it together. Our marriage has several instances of verbal abuse and two instances of physical abuse. Otherwise, he is a devoted husband and can be very loving and affectionate. I certainly don't have the courage to divorce him and have become very co-dependant on him over the years. I know I deserve better, but just can't do it. I'm now severely depressed and unable to perform at work. I suffer from the fear of living alone and what friends and family might think of it. I hate having sex with my husband and actually find him very physically repulsive. I feel trapped and miserable. I  contemplate suicide everyday and I'm only 29 years old. Just the thought of living with my husband until I die is gruelling and killing me inside.

Please help!!!


angrywife79 angrywife79
9 Responses Sep 24, 2008

In a similar situation. Im repulsed by my husband. I raised 2 kids. 16 and 19. The older is home from college. After 23 years I am refusing to have sex. He cheated years ago and that sealed my hell. I am depressed. Most of my family is dead so I have no support. Feeling trapped. You have a good job and no kids so you have to get out. Don't stay thinking it will get better. Having kids helped but now that they are older I am lonely. Don't waste another year. Before you know it you will be 49 like me and have nowhere to go. I wish you luck. If you need a friend Im here.

i married an indian guy early this month.we've known each other and "in love" five years now.well i wasn't lookin for relationship but then we had sex and into relationship and he's an indian and i was stupid n finally just got married recently.im a city gurl from malaysia and definitely not and indian and nothin conventional minded n life and now i live and stuck here in india with his family.they good people very concern bout me n everythin but i can say i never really love him.when i tell him that he always says im just being angry n i actually love him as much he loves me.sighh

For the love of God, leave now before you get pregnant!! I am in a similar situation, but I already have three kids. Now I am trapped for sure. Please, please leave now.

i am indian , and i understand when indian women wonder about divorce , but if you are not happy , you should end the relationship and live foryourself.

i am relieved to hear there is someone else going through what i am still going through. our stories are very similar, and i am sorry you have to suffer in this way. please take a look at my post in "i am unhappy in my current relationship" group. <a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-Unhappy-In-My-Current-Relationship/911419" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a><br />
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i am also scared. it is mostly fear and doubt that holds me back. i also don't want to disappoint anyone, especially my family. i am grateful i do not have kids either, because i think it is time i (we) need to move on. thank you for sharing your experience.

Divorce him. Stop telling yourself you can't. If you came on this website looking for strength, it's because you didn't realize that you have it hidden inside of you. Let your strength out and live your beautiful life. You need to leave him.

Please, dear. Get out now before you have children. You are from a traditional Indian background, and for sure you will not leave him after you have children, if it is so hard for you to do so even now. You have a good job, you are beautiful. You will find someone else. The fact that he has hit you, even once or twice, says that he does not cherish you the way a man should cherish his wife. You also don't want him. If the only way to be happy together is for one or both of you to change, then it is best to get out. People should be married to someone who makes them happy just as they are. Please leave him, and next time use this experience to make a better choice. Good luck

you are still very young you aren't tied down by kids plus you are in a good job and attractive. The only thing that seems to be stopping you is what your family will think. who cares about the big house and the high quality life style if you are miserable!!! you should get out while it is relatively easy.

You make sure you stay strong within yourself, try to have many friends and outside interests. If you have the courage and can support yourself financially, be honest and end your misery with this marriage. Once you have, you will have wondered why you took so long. Your family will eventually forgive you if they truly love you and things will work out if you just follow your heart. In the meantime, you are supported by other woman who are also unhappy in their marriages, you are not alone. Smile, you are special, dont forget that!