This Woman Is Making Me Feel Like The Other Woman In My Own Marriage.....

My MIL is doing her best to cause problems between my DH and I. She continues to use him constantly, as well as continue to treat me as inferior. She has started making him come to help her every time they are left w/ our nephew(this after she all but refuses to watch our son unless it so she can make it look like she is raising him(friends come in from out of town, she is on the phone w/ the relatives from out of state,etc.) other wise she is too busy to be bothered w/ seeing him. She however watches BIL and SIL's child all the time(and no, SIL is not her daughter; she is her DIL, just like me), even goes and gets him to watch him, so that BIL and SIL can go on dates, have time alone together, etc.  Meanwhile, my husband and I have gone a date once in about 2 years, & it had to be w/in a mile of their house(they moved down the street from us, so it is almost like whats the point?).

This woman has also been teaching my son to call his dad by his first name and not address me as mom(I know this b/c everytime he has been around her or she comes around, he starts doing it, but the rest of the time he won't do it; my husband however thinks that this isn't true, and thinks that I am making it up as it would mean that Mommie Dearest was wrong). She also bitched my husband out for giving me the weekly grocery money to hold onto and use to purchase groceries, and telling me to keep what was left at the end of the week for myself(which is usually only about 2-4 dollars, but it gives me a bit of money to call my own, as I am currently unemployed and in school). I am also pregnant, and when we found out we were having a girl, she whined, then ignored me from that point on. She and FIL have also been trying to make me put on extra weight(they started making cakes thick w/ icing, as well as other sugar and fat packed items and bringing them to our house after I mentioned one night in conversation that I had gained less w/ this pregnancy and I was happy about it, and my ob was happy w/ the weight I had gained, as before w/ my son, I ended up gaining over 40 lbs after starting out overweight; MIL has put her and FIL on a diet as well as she thinks she is supposed to be teenage girl sized and she is nearing 50; She also got  mad at me when I lost the weight I gained w/ my son and then some before I got married).  I have been watching what I eat, as well as eating little of the sweets and fat loaded things they bring. She has also been calling my husband more and more, and demanding more and more of his and our time, by planning activities and other things that we are expected to be at, or I get to get blamed for my DH not coming and verbal and emotional abuse for however long she feels like. We are also expected to see DH's family above what small amount of my family that I have.  I am also not allowed to say anything that is anti MIL or I am "the bad one",even though MIL says and does things that are extremely inappropriete constantly.


My husband also gets mad at me and becomes verbally abusive if I say anything other than MIL is an angel and the greatest thing since sliced bread. I refuse to let MIL pay for car insurance for me or put a car in my name b/c she is notorious for not paying bills (DH's health insurance has been cancelled several times b/c of this), as well as I have no job to pay for either myself at the moment. He also does not want me to reinstate the phone I had for years on my own so that I could get my old number back(which is the number most people have for me, as well as the other phone is more expensive to keep up for less time). He wants me to keep the phone he bought for me, rather than get a new phone through my old company that I was happy w/ ( I STILL cannot send a text message w/ this phone he bought me, and I am pretty cellphone savy). He also bought this phone w/o my input. It is an ok phone, just not something I can see using for the next 3 years(not on a plan; prepaid phones), and the only reason I brushed off getting a replacement phone myself right away w/ the same company was I thought I had lost my number, as well as I didnt have the money right then to get the phone I was looking at.


I feel like my  marriage is failing between MIL's interferance and DH's letting her. I am looking into marriage counseling, however I believe that my DH is so entrenched w/ MIL that I don't know how much good it will do.  He is also very codependent w/ her as well, he refuses to get a job b/c it would mean breaking free of the codependent relationship he has w/ her, as well as it would upset his mother .  

agirlnamedsue agirlnamedsue
1 Response Mar 3, 2010