The Way She Makes Me Feel...

When i'm with her i feel like i'm suffocating. I lack all the air in my breath and i huff and i puff, i get pissed and want to rage. Daily this was, everyday i would get yelled at for the slightest things. By everyone. EVERY SINGLE F*CKING ONE. NO you can't have rides, you ask for so many. When usually it's you wanting to take me places. I wouldn't have gone if you didn't mention it. From getting picked on by my ******* of a ******* brother. He tries to be nice and i respect him for that, but then the next day he hates my ******* guts. I SWEAR! To my mom yelling at me for not checking in with her, when she should actually call once to check in with me. Just ONCE i wish. I wish for once we could have good healthy food. Like fried shrimp, with buttery, salty noodles and some spinach. That would be nice. But NO they leave me out of everything. THEY HATE ME. I'm trapped in a hell hole. I want to believe that i am not really in this family. As if these people look like me but are only my aunt uncle and cousins. What if my parents died when i was little? I mean i have barely any baby pictures, nor do i have baby videos, but the other two do? What is this? Could it be possible, or do i just hate my real parents and siblings to the crust of this Earth. I hate them all. I am trapped in a cell, forced to be a slave. BULL ****. I need to get out of here soon before i freak. I need a break from my family, from my town. Just a friend and myself go somewhere for a weekend. That would be nice for a change. On the church camping trip i remember i didn't want to go back home, i hated home. I hated it since i was little. **** life. **** everyone. Why am i the piece of **** that gets all this? Why? I want to scream, get away and scream as loud as i can, i want to adventure beyond these wild forests, create, imagine and simply just meditate in the sun risey morning, and relax. Be able not to be stressed. I need that for just one simple day. Just one. I want to escape from here, run away, and never be heard of again. Just run to a place no one would ever figure out and start life off there. I would love to do that. I need to get away and i would do anything. ANYTHING for it. I hope life turns out for a change. I mean the presence of it is so beautiful and cannot be captured on a camera, it's better in the eye of a simply beautiful human being.
CrazyRasins CrazyRasins
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 5, 2012

some mothers are like that... knows nothing but to yell at their children... hit them... and some are even blessed to have kids that despite of their attitude towards their children.. still.. "Mother, is God to the eyes of their child"