My Mother Should Have Gave Up!

I had a mom when I was born (my grandma) but my real mother never wanted me, she says she was a young mom and was not ready. So was I But I would never treat my kids the way I was treated. My mom showed me how to be a **** and depend on men. Other moms show there girls how to cook or put on make up, not mine. At 4y my mother was not careful with me she let her boyfriend sexually abuse me. You never take your eyes off of your little girl when theres a man in your house. But Thats not the worse part my mother never believed me, like I was the lier. To this day she's never acknowledged it happened. All I want is for her to say Im sorry that happened to you!! Why cant I have a real mother like others do, I Dont want to be alone with no mom. Because of this I now suffer from BPD and it sucks everyday of my life.