Letter To Mother In Law

To: Mother-In-Law


First of all, I would like to thank you to write this letter because it gives me a chance to open my heart at the first time and allow me tell you what is exactly my feelings about everything which happened between YOU and me. However, in order to avoid making everything getting worse. I have to ask you to forgive me in advance for what I am going to tell you will be in very straight way, because sometimes the truth is ugly, but it is also the BEST and ONLY choice for both of us in this situation.


Before I start, I want you CLEARLY know that I DO have problems with YOU, and they are BIG. But it’s ONLY between YOU and me, please DON’T pull Dad inside in these issues as you ALWAYS do, because he is NOT the one.  So you don’t need to write to me things to use “Parent-In-Law”, again it’s NOTHING to do with Dad! And I definitely know many things and many cases Dad and me has problems is ALL because of Misunderstanding to mess up with YOU inside.  So I have to CLEAR up here the first.


The reason I mentioned God in my last letter is because life has already given us a lot of difficulties naturally but what is really hard to understand is why there are so many are from Human and it’s even not from a stranger, but from a “FAMILY” member, a Mother of my Husband and a Grandmother of My daughter! I have asked myself many times of this same question. How SAD could be!


Therefore, I want you CLEARLY know, our TOPIC today is about RESPECT, what we are talking about is your Rude Attitude, Weird temper and DRY “smart” comments.  Please listen carefully, I am a NICE person, but I’m NOT an IDIOT and also I’m NOT Blind.  For whatever reason you’ve done these things to me is definitely NOT LOVE.  I DON’T need to be a Hispanic or American to realize and find out that, because we are just HUMAN-BEING!  It’s NOTHING to do with Culture Difference Causes Different Opinions which you have mentioned Again and Again. It’s just basically between Human and Human, it is called “RESPECT”.


Well, let’s start our incredible journey. I remember after My husband and I told you the good news about my pregnancy in May, 2008. Your reaction was Surprise more than Happy, and you asked me “how my father will think of this thing”. I don’t know why you asked me that time, but now I definitely know you were just insult me more than congrats me.


I understand inside your mind you want a Hispanic woman be your son’s wife, be your daughter-in-law, and to be your grandchildren’s mother OR a woman would like to convert herself to be a Hispanic OR a woman would like to do whatever you want she does under your CONTROL.  Well, no matter if you admit it here or not, this part always exists in your heart, you can’t fool yourself.


Well, I guess that is the problem originally begins, because the first I DON’T meet ANY conditions in your mind as above. Plus when my hormone during pregnancy can’t help to changed, it caused my behavior and emotion was different than the regular time (Of course, that’s a scientific truth). And Plus for a young woman which was pregnant at her first time without her mother nearby, but only by herself in a foreign country, she can’t help to feel insecure and can’t control emotions. All of those only made things even worse.


So based on above situations definitely whatever I have done or whatever I have said can’t avoid offending you and making you “Uncomfortable”, and then you started to react like a COLD ROBOT.


Aug. 2008, when I was PREGNANT 3 months, I started to feel not that well and begin to have reactions.  That day you visited My husband and me in our house to enjoy our pool.  I just don’t feel very well, so I talked to My husband about my FEELING. Listen carefully, it’s a FEELING, it’s NOT a SYMPTOMS. What I want is a SimpleCONSOLATION from my husband OR from you. But unfortunately this time you CAN’T be a WOMAN, you CAN’T be a MOTHER.  All you can be is a DOCTOR to tell me “It’s NORMAL”. Of course, I know its NORMAL! I don’t need you tell me that! What you need to do is as MOTHER is to tell me –“I hope you FEEL better!” YES, it’s that simple! Just like the day you got hurt on the boat, and you had many pains in your back, should I ONLY tell you again and again “It’s NORMAL”? Without concern for your WELL-BEING?


Oct. 2008, when My husband’s godmother to visit us in Ruskin House, at that time I has already had 5 months pregnancy, although I don’t understand the Spanish you said to her, but I knew you were criticizing me about our house’s FLOOR and cleaning, because it’s “dirty” and “unorganized”.  When I never complain that you NEVER take care of me for one second not only PHYSICALLY but also EMOTIONALLY even though we only live in 10 minutes away. But at meantime, take look what you choice to do to me! Have you thought about one moment, I was PREGNANT, I was carrying YOUR grandchild!! I’m the one supposed to be taken care of that time! Not the floor, Not the pots!


At the New Year Eve of 2009, that time I almost near to give birth to My daughter.  My husband’s friend brought his girlfriend and kids to stay in our Ruskin House for the New Year Holiday. And My husband cooked a pig to ready to feed everybody to celebrate it. I remember I felt very sleepy and tired all the time, and again I was PREGNANT, I was carrying YOUR grandchild! I had to sleep a lot that day and probably it’s getting too late, I missed something about dinner. The moment when I walked down stairs after I woke up, you were the ONLY one that I saw in the house, because everybody was outside to play fireworks. I gave you a big smile and say hi to you. Again, what you chose to do to me this time? You walked away in front of my face without say a WORD or even HI!  I was so close to my Delivery Day, the most important thing suppose be my WELL-BEING, Not the New Year, Not the Dinner!  I guess that’s the “LOVE” you mentioned so many times and that’s how you show your “LOVE” to me!



Jan. 22. 2009 it’s my daughter My daughter’s birth-day and after I got C-SECTION, which was to cut my stomach open and take baby out, everybody knows it’s a MAJOR Surgery. And when you were coming to visit My daughter and me, I understand it’s great to see your granddaughter, but the ONLY thing you chose to do was to look baby, that’s ALL?! You didn’t ask me ANYTHING about my feeling and pains, there was NO any comfort and LOVE from you at that time when I really needed. There is NO appreciation and there is NO feeling. Tell you the truth, I can’t believe you are also a MOTHER, you “SUPPOSE” know how difficult to give birth especially what I’ve done is NOT a regular way. But take look what you chose to do to me!  I have to say you were really cruel to me!


May. 2009 it’s a big BREAKUP between us this time, because you never thought about a second My husband and I will move away from you.  Although this decision was made inside of my family (my husband and me), you NEVER thought that we have family now – My husband, My daughter and I, because obviously in your mind, we are NOT. Therefore we still need to be under your CONTROL.  Of course, again you will put all the blames on me, the ONE and the ONLY - it’s got be ME.


Before we move, I came to YOU to talk to you hope you can understand our decision in a very NICE and MATURE way, and I told you we will try the best we can go on taking care of YOU and DAD no matter Physically, Emotionally and Financially. We LOVE YOU and DAD no matter where we are.  And I also told you that you are a very important ROLE in this family, you have the POWER in your hands to make everybody get along WELL and HAPPY. At that time you told me you aren’t glad about our moving but you CAN understand. I know that’s the Truth. And I really hope you meant what you mean about you CAN understand. That day, DAD was outside to pick up Medicine for you. YOU are the ONLY one I talked with, and I TRUST you and ASK you to let DAD know our conversation. And now I’m sure, YOU DIDN’T do it, because YOU don’t want to make things too EASY and too SMOOTH as usual. So again what you chose to do is something UNUSUAL. YOU turns out to be CAN’T Understand!  


Right after we move to Windermere, My husband was very sick for his Lung and he had gone to hospital for treatment.  I had to take care of baby and even can’t have the strength to clean up new house while I WAS SICK the same time. When you gave me a phone call to question My husband’s situation, (Of course, you don’t even ask how’s my feeling, and again, you won’t care about it), actually is our signal of house is very poor so the phone call got cut off, I called you back immediately to explain the reason, but what you told me? “Oh, you are busy; oh you are eating something in your mouth, Hum!” The tone you talked to me was like I’ve done something so terrible, OR you are just talking to a SLAVE? I DON’T deserve this kind of NASTY attitude and STRANGE temper, I DON’T owe you! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO TALK TO ME, JUST DON’T TALK TO ME! BUT IF YOU ARE TALKING TO ME – PLEASE DON’T GIVE YOUR UNNECESSARY ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOR! At Least, Whatever you’ve make me stop to call you at that time because I DON’T want to hear your cold tone, nasty attitude and rude words. But DAD probably won’t understand what’s going on here. He only believes what you said, so obviously he was mad at me that time why I didn’t call you (includes him) for so long. DAD, do you know the TRUTH now? Because I’m AFRAID to HEAR from your wife and TALK to your wife.


Aug. 2009, it’s your first time to visit us after so long time and after My husband came back home, although you have visited My husband in his hospital, but you chose to NOT to stop in our new house to take look My daughter and me during that time. Probably more is because you DON’T want to see ME.  Like before every time, we saved BAD news only to ourselves and don’t tell you was because consider your “HEALTH”, so we DON’T want to you too “worry”, again what we think is ALL about YOU. So My husband fell from stairs was a LAST minute “hint” before you came, he had to call DAD the first to let him know what’s happened, because we DON’T want to give you a “Surprise”. Finally we met, and the first thing I opened door to see you and what you said was ONLY “Good afternoon!” All the sudden you turn to be so “Polite” to me but whole purpose you did this was just tried to let me understand you just treat me as a STRANGER but with “Manner”.


Well, now we officially begin the part which was BEYOND IMGINATION. After I told you I have to take care of My husband when he can’t move (HE BROKE HIS KNEE) and My daughter (SHE IS A BABY) the same time. Guess, what the ONLY WORDS you told me “It’s good to let you lose some weight!”  HAHA, how “FUNNY” you are! BRAVO! What a “SMART” Comments! You NEVER mentioned how I can take care of YOUR son and YOUR granddaughter the same time ONLY by myself under this situation!  I have to say you are UNBELIEVABLE, what kind of people can say what you just told me like this, but without any appreciation, but ONLY INSULT!!! That moment is the ULTIMATE moment that you totally DESTROY my feeling about YOU and YOUR impression inside of my heart.  Although you’ve done so much terrible things to me before, I NEVER give up to you, only hope one day you can wake up! And I still treated you as usual same NICE way. BUT I have to say ANYBODY which has HEART would NEVER do what YOU did to me!


Sep. 9, 2009. It’s a BIG day for My husband and me; it’s the day we got married.  Of course, it’s NOT a happy day for YOU! SORRY, I just tell the TRUTH. We were clearly to tell you that the Marriage Office in the city only open in the morning until 11:00AM, and then you as usual do whatever you want to do, certainly ESPECIALLY today. You arrived on 10:30AM, you were so LATE suppose you should be here 10:00am at the latest. Of course, we had to RACE the car to the Marriage Office without any graceful appearance, plus My husband still can’t move well that time (HE BROKE HIS KNEE).  Afterward, we went to lunch for celebration. On the way, we tried to talk to you and show you around our neighbors, and your reaction was “silent”, because you had NOTHING to talk about it. For that day, you suppose be very happy because YOUR son finally settled down with the woman HE loves, and also has HIS own child, HE just started a new family by HIMSELF.  But why you are NOT happy?! Why you CAN’T bless us?! I guess, the answer is, till now, no matter WHOEVER read this letter so far would ALL understand!


Well, finally let’s move to Christmas of this year. Dec. 25. 2009, It’s a CHRISTMAS DAY. And it’s a FIRST one we spent with My daughter since she was born. The day when we arrived at your house, you were in the bath, and then you came out with that WEIRD outfit, I almost about to remind you, it’s CHRISTMAS DAY, in YOUR culture it’s suppose a MOST IMPORTANT DAY of the whole year. But still you chose NOT to care about it, and do whatever you want to do.  When My husband and I gave you the gifts you seem DIDN’T care at all, it’s so FAKE the smile you put on your face and comment from your mouth. Well, if you don’t like the gifts that we gave to you, that’s FINE. But please DO NOT show on your face, because I even feel embarrass for you. You don’t do that in front of people when people just want to show nice to you, and especially your family members, to YOUR son and YOUR daughter-in-law.  After that, you started serve the food for us, and of course you were the one in control, I noticed you gave everybody included yourself “2 pieces of meats” and ONLY me “1 piece”. Please DON’T get me wrong, I really don’t care about the meat. My point here is how you think I’m NOT the one of member in your family, so you definitely would treat me DIFFERENT NATURALLY, that’s your brain potentially tells you to do so, that’s the thing you can’t even control it. Well, after lunch, when everybody enjoy each other for Christmas, you chose starting to wash those dishes and of course, you had to break almost all the dishes and cups to make NOISE and show the STATEMENT to tell me how much you were UNHAPPY at that moment (although I don’t even know why you weren’t), I don’t know if you DON’T want to see me or should be more like you DON’T want me to join “YOUR” family to share the Christmas together. That’s ONLY yourself knows.


Jan. 17. 2010. That’s the BIG day for My daughter, because it’s HOLY and it’s BAPTISM DAY. Although I’m NOT Catholic or Christian, but at least I know it’s a very IMPORTANT Day.  That day everybody, every family members, friends and even neighbors were there.  I really pMy husbanded to hope you can control yourself for that day, because it is in front of public and the more important thing is – It is My daughter’s Big Day. Well, again, when we arrived there a little bit late, because we have baby, we CAN’T control our schedule, plus we got tickets on the road, so it wasted our time. The moment we were there, again you chose to start to show your nasty attitude, weird temper and those terrible comments.  


For the part I wanted to dress My daughter for Baptism Day, it’s a Thriller! I was glad that everybody was my witness and everybody saw how you treat me!! I mentioned let me try her shoes the first to see if it fits. What did you say? “Well, it has to fit!” I mentioned it’s very WINDY outside I wanted to give My daughter an overcoat in order to avoid she got cold. What do you do? You push me away to grab and pull My daughter’s feet, and you almost HURT her!! Because at that moment, you can’t help yourself to expose how much you DISAGREE AND DISRESPECT my opinion.  It was so NASTY that I never ever seen that in my life before and even never heard of this type of behavior.


From that day, I told myself and I also already have made of my mind, that is I CAN’T talk to you anymore, because I DON’T want to!  So please don’t tell me AGAIN and AGAIN, that we can “communicate” just like you told me many times before, but they are all end up to your NASTY attitude and WEIRD temper with your “SMART” comments. EVERYBODY has their LIMIT, and EVERYTHING has a LINE CAN’T be crossed. I am CLEARLY telling you here now, you have already REACHED the limit of my patience and you HAVE crossed the line you SHOULDN’T cross. I am truly ENOUGH with YOU and YOUR behavior, I CAN’T and I DON’T have the abilities to put up with YOU anymore. 

Well, let’s have a little break here, what I just said above were just a FEW examples, and you have done so much that it can’t allow me to write all them down here, because I don’t want to write a BOOK. At this point, you probably would feel SURPRISE and even SHOCKING, how it could be POSSIBLE that I CAN REMEMBER everything that you have done to me, and perhaps even yourself can’t remember them so CLEARLY, can you?


All the answer here is again I’m a NICE person, but DOESN’T mean I’m an IDIOT and also I am NOT Blind! I have to tell you not only this – but also YOUR Daughter-in-law has been blessed to have a gift of BRAIN and INTELLIGENCE.  So for whatever you do, whatever you react and whatever you say, I CAN sense it, I CAN feel it, I CAN understand it, I CAN know what your purposes and I CAN ANALYZE the TRUTH. At the another hand, I’m SURE that OUR PROBLEM it’s NOTHING to do with Different Culture or Different Race, no matter you are Hispanic, I’m Asian, or you are White, or I’m Black. It’s a HUMAN-NATURE.


I know there will be Culture Difference Causes Different Opinions between our backgrounds, but for whatever you’ve done, you are just USE this as a “Pretty” EXCUSE.


If you don’t agree, and if you still resist your “EXCUSE”. Then allow me to show you a SIMPLE example. Just let’s talk about Your second son’s girlfriend here, she is a typical HISPANIC, she was raised in the HISPANIC family with HISPANIC parents, relatives and friends, and she treats you very NICE, of course THROUGH YOUR HISPANIC CULTURE. But what I noticed that you still treat her NOT that well anymore? Here we go, let’s go back to the TOPIC - Culture Difference Causes Different Opinions?! Then allow me to ask you here do you have any Culture Difference with Your second son’s girlfriend? If NO, can you explain to me why you still have problem with her and treat her like the way you treat her?


So first, please don’t tell me AGAIN and AGAIN we have Culture Difference, so we have Different Opinions and Concepts; therefore we have so many problems. Because you know it’s NOT true. Everybody who has CLEAR mind knows it’s really nothing to do with it.  Instead of looking for all kinds of EXCUSES to cover yourself just as usual, I want to give you a piece of ADVICE here, IF you want to change this situation now. ALL you can do is starting to treat people NICE (Of course, it has to be REAL), NOT ONLY to ME, BUT ALSO to EVERYBODY IN THIS FAMILY! And STOP giving your Negative attitude, Weird temper and Rude “smart” comments to anyone! Because Nobody needs this and Nobody deserve this.


And second, please don’t tell me AGAIN and AGAIN we have MISUNDERSTANDING! I know we can’t avoid having it, but I don’t believe it’s ALL because of MISUNDERSTANDING. There is NO such MISUNDERSTANDING exists from the things you have done. Please DON’T make more EXCUSES to me, to anybody, and the most important is to YOURSELF.  If you are keeping going like this, you will NEVER learn, and end up becoming even WORSE.


Whether you are good mother or not, I can’t judge this, because you are NOT my mother, but what I know is a GOOD mother would definitely NOT put her Son in this TOUGH position and would never treat her son’s wife / her grandchild’s mother like the way you treat me.


Whether you love me or not, it really DOESN’T matter to me. Because I can’t change what you think about me and you CAN’T force yourself to do so as well. You might can lie to me, and lie to everybody, but you CAN’T lie to yourself. Only your behavior and reaction will tell me the TRUTH. And I have already got that TRUTH a long time ago. Remember, you are NOT dealing with an IDIOT or BLIND. I don’t need to be a Hispanic to understand it! But which is real SAD is actually you made me DON’T care about it.


Well, but for me, I will still treat you like the way before, just like I always do, even after you treat me like a piece of GARBAGE (It’s just the REALITY). Since I’m NOT an animal, I had my education, therefore it allows me can JUDGE what is right thing to do or not from my BRAIN, and it’s ONLY because of that.


However, after so many things UNFORTUNATELY happened before, it leaves me DON’T have any other choice but ONLY this one. I have to setup RULES between YOU and me. And now, I ask you please read CAREFULLY and CLEARLY understand below instructions.


1. About the communication between YOU and me when we DON’T meet if we need to. I completely agree with you, please just ONLY use EMAIL. Like that we can avoid “language” problems and also I DON’T need to put up some emotional problems that I have. I CAN NOT forget what I have to go through. And I’m NOT actress and I CAN’T pretend NOTHING happened before. The DAMAGE has already been done and the history CAN’T be changed.


2. About the communication between YOU and me when we DO meet if we have to. This part is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. I have to seriously ask you AGAIN, please treat me with RESPECT, I don’t need you treat me like a queen, but you MUST give me the basic MANNER with POLITE.  Please DO watch out EVERY word you want to talk to me, EVERY reaction you want to show me and EVERYTHING you want to do to me.  DO NOT TRY TO BE “SMART” OR “HUMOUROUS” to me, because YOU are NOT at ALL and YOU CAN’T handle it. I just want you know CLEARLY here, I won’t allow you to take advantage of me and insult me like before anymore. YOU have already reached the limit of my patience. And believe me, you don’t want to see HOW I blow up and HOW I get MAD, I have the WORST temper even WORSE than My husband.  But even that, for “some” reasons, if you STILL can’t help yourself, I can give you a piece of ADVICE, please just keep INSIDE TO YOUR SELF and FREEZE YOUR ACTION. DO NOT REACT OUT OF  IT! Please just learn how I deal with you for that long time.


3. About My daughter and my future kid, please REMEMBER they are MY daughters (OR son) and they will ONLY be raised by MYSELF and my husband, I want you CLEARLY understand that now! And also I seriously DON’T need ANY of your “Opinions”, for better or for worse! Because until today, you probably still CAN’T understand and judge what does mean “Opinion” and what does mean “Order”, therefore ALL you gave us are just the “Order”, NOT the “opinion” - it’s just the way YOU want to be. But when if it’s NOT like the way you wanted, then ALL the problems begin to happen, it’s just like a BAD Circle. So once again, please DON’T FORGET who is the kids’ MOTHER and FATHER! And please do REMEMBER it’s NOT YOU!


Besides, you have already raised your sons, and you made decisions for what they are doing and how they are doing. But this is the time for My husband and me and it’s OUR “Territory” to raise our kids, although you just mean “good”.  We appreciate all your efforts but sorry, we CAN’T accept it. So whether I cut My daughter’s hair or not, whether I want My daughter start to learn play piano at age 3, or whether My daughter has to go to College, (obviously she is a girl, education is extremely important, like that at least she would learn how to RESPECT people and then people will RESPECT her).  My husband and I as her parents would take our FULL responsibilities and make OUR own decisions for our kid’s future. That is NON-NEGOTIABLE.


Here, I have to mention Your grandson, he is the Real BLOODY example for the bad family conflicts and I sincere feel sorry to him. I will NEVER let My daughter to be the “Second Your grandson”. I DON’T care whose his mother is, whether she is good or bad, I DON’T know her, and it’s NONE of my business. But all I want to you know is I’m NOT her, and I NEVER would be, the difference between us on this SAME issue to DEAL with YOU is I always treat you NICE with RESPECT no matter what even until now. But I always want to ask you a question, WHY when she treats you so BAD, you would treat her very WELL, but when I treat you NICE, then you would chose to treat me like a GARBAGE? I have to say, about this part, it DOES make me really CONFUSED.


4. About My husband, I and our kid(s) – OUR family. Most of time we won’t argue, but if we argue, the 99% is because of YOU. YES! So for what you’ve done have already seriously HARM our Marriage, our Relationship and Happiness of our Life. Since when I was PREGNANT until My daughter has already 1-year-old at present.  I CAN’T allow YOU to be our TOPIC of the Argument most of time, YOU have SERIOUSLY DISTURB our PRIVATE LIFE. So today, this moment, I have to OFFICIALY to ask you BACK OFF, please BACK OFF of OUR Life.  I SWEAR I will do whatever I have to do to protect MY family and OUR happiness, and again I won’t make My daughter to be the “Second Your grandson”.


5. About HOW to be a Grandmother, IF you still want to be part of OUR life, please be a NORMAL grandmother, this is ALL I ask you to do.  Just play and talk with kids as a NORMAL grandmother, that’s ALL you need to do. If you CAN’T understand it, then please WATCH and LEARN it from DAD, he is much better than you to be NATURAL. And please DON’T be too SMART, although I don’t speak Spanish, but EVERY time when you met My daughter, all you repeat to her was “Grandpa, Grandma and Dad”, there is NO “Mom” ever. I totally UNDERSTAND the purpose for what you have been doing, and I know it’s definitely NOT healthy. LISTEN! I WON’T let you make it happened! Since My daughter is getting older, so she starts to know lots of things between us and what we are talking about, therefore I will even more CAREFULLY about it, I WON’T let you poison her mind and you can completely SAVE your energy. As well as, I WON’T let you treat me DISRESPECTFUL in front of her even ONCE. I’m WARNING you here again, Please DON’T play fire and games with me, please DON’T push this limit line. This line is NOT ONLY about mine, BUT ALSO it’s between MY DAUGHTER’S (MY FUTURE KID’S) and MINE, so if you TOUCH this line, please DON’T expect me to be NICE and keep QUIET like before! Let me tell you something UGLY here the first, if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, I will have to be forced to let you STAY AWAY from my daughter. It would NOT safe to keep my kids around in YOUR pollution if you keep doing this. And you know exactly what I’m talking about now, and you know you are NOT innocent. Remember, you are NOT dealing with an IDIOT and you probably NEVER know WHO I AM!


But at the meantime, you can relief; I won’t tell My daughter how her grandmother treats her mother, just like I NEVER mention to my mother how you treat me. My mother (the POOR woman) would never think one second that everything her daughter has to taste and go through. But if she knows it, she would do everything she can to protect me, doesn’t matter how far away she is.  Just like YOUR mother will protect you if you have SUCH BAD experience like I have! But you are very LUCKY, because Dad’s situation, you DON’T need to deal with any Mother-in-law, YOU can do WHATEVER you WANT to do, but that DOESN’T mean you are a good daughter-in-law, and that’s a two totally DIFFERENT story. If you were me, and if you have a mother-in-law like I have, I wonder what you are going to do. For this part actually really remind me, I will definitely be CAREFUL for My daughter, because for HER marriage, I want her REALLY happy, and can have a REALLY good mother-in-law who loves her just like her own daughter, who TRULY loves and cares about her from her HEART, but NOT from the Mouth.


6. About MY mother, let me tell you something about her here, just in case, you DON’T know about it. She is a TRUE, UNSELFISH, KINDHEARTED, TRUSTWORTHY, LOVING and CARING person. She loves me every second like her Heart Beat.  The reason she would allow me to leave her to come to a foreign country by myself, is because she is TRULY loves me.  I don’t have a good father like YOU do and I don’t have a grandfather has relations with another country to bring ALL of you here in the United States, and I have to use my OWN strength and ability to fight for it. We both came from communist countries, so I don’t think I need to explain to you who they are, and how they treat us here again.  I came to this country is I want my children, my grandchildren, and their kids can have FREE Life, so I have to be the FIRST one who started and finished this revolution. My mother understands MY desire and she has to sacrifice her own feeling to be apart of me for this long. She chose to love me by support me.  So please DON’T think one second there is something WRONG with my mother, because it’s NOT true.  And you also DON’T need to talk to your nice neighbor Terry all the time about how my mother can let me come to this foreign country by myself. Because if you can’t understand us, then please don’t judge us! But one thing I can guarantee you is my mother’s relationship with me is very, very close and strong.


She LOVES My husband - YOUR Son, just like her OWN! Even she NEVER has chance to meet him in person because of her VISA! It’s JUST because she is a GOOD Mother, she LOVES me so she will LOVE whoever I LOVE! It’s that SIMPLE! It’s NOTHING to do with CULTURE DIFFERENCE, because LOVE is LOVE, its UNIVERSAL! There is NO excuses, because she is a Chinese, My husband is a Hispanic, so the LOVE from her to YOUR son would be DIFFERENT!


At the end, I would like to tell you again, for WHATEVER you say and WHATEVER you do, you have to think about CONSEQUENCE, you are an ADULT, you are NOT a KID! You have to take responsible for it! REMEMBER it’s not only about YOU, YOU, and YOU.  Also, you are JUST 65-year-old, please DON’T react like you are 95-year-old that you have so much HATE inside of you, YOU HATE EVERYTHING, THIS WORLD AND INCLUDES YOURSELF. If your MENTAL is NOT healthy, HOW can you PHYSICALLY healthy? REMEMBER, your BRAIN is the one CONTROLS your body!


OF course, just as you said, NOBODY is perfect, everybody makes mistakes, but the BIG difference is if you could learn it and correct it. DON’T LOOKING FOR EXCUSES when you were WRONG! Because you will NEVER improve yourself to be a better person!  But today, actually if you can realize, we are really NOT talking about PERFECTION, what we are talking about is BASIC HUMAN-BEING! We are talking about RESPECT.


So again, I CAN’T change who YOU are and what YOU want to do. But all I ask you is please REMEMBER – I’m married to your SON, NOT you. I’m YOUR granddaughter’s Mother, NOT your SLAVE. And the reason I still talk to you at this moment is ONLY because of My husband and My daughter, that’s ALL. Another word is if there is NO My husband or My daughter, I WON’T need to talk to you at all! So next time, if you start to “Forget” for what I told you today and still keep giving me your bad attitude, weird temper and offended “smart” comments, then please DON’T expect me will make such LONG letter again to explain to you the situation, and YOU WON’T have chance to let me open my mouth again to talk to you, that’s the end of it and that’s over.


At last, I hope you CHERISH what you have NOW! TREAT Dad nicely, he is the ONE be with you all the time and he LOVES you so deeply. TREAT My husband nicely, he is YOUR Strongest SUPPORT who brings you the happiness no matter from Physically, Mentally and Financially! TREAT your second son nicely, he loves you and he would do whatever you told him to do. TREAT Your second son’s girlfriend nicely, she is a GOOD woman and she is the ONE who taking care of YOUR son and YOUR grandson. Please UNDERSTAND, We are NOT a BIG family, and please STOP driving everybody’s away, because there is NONE a lot of us here!


We all have the power for LOVE, everybody in this world all have it, but the question is if YOU know what the LOVE is, and HOW to Love.

czfreedom czfreedom
26-30, F
5 Responses May 2, 2010

I'm so impress for your patience.Your husband was lucky having you as his wife.YOU DESERVE TO TREAT BEST..AFTER ALL the pains and experienced u had to your mother in law, really emotionally pain....Cheer up...and am wishing in time ur mother in law realize ur not perfect but close to be perfect......Keep it up to have ur own family build harmonious relationship....No one can ever rule our life..and I'm proud of YOU>>>>

Tina Ellis of eagle pass Texas has been the witch of 25+ years to both her daughter in laws. Scary! Barbaric, cruel, jealous, inappropriate all because we are both blonde big city baptist loving wives. God is the judge. Wow!

Omg, I feel your pain. I have been married for over 25 years to a wonderful Hispanic man, while my in laws, especially my mother in law have despised me pretty much only because I'm a "gringo" blonde. been extremely inappropriate and entitled. Omg, I am so sorry. It sucks. But, in the end, stay together. My mother in law finally lost my husbands respect and attention when she, about 5 years ago, lost at a holiday dinner gathering at me and stooped to so low as to call me a bad mom! It sucks but stay together and have a great marriage, the best revenge is success! Mother in laws who treat their husbands wives ugly are the lowest lutefisk imaginable! They eat their young literally! Can you imagine treatingcsomeone tour child loves and your grandchildrens mother ugly? How barbaraic and unchristian!

Omg, I feel your pain. I have been married for over 25 years to a wonderful Hispanic man, while my in laws, especially my mother in law have despised me pretty much only because I'm a "gringo" blonde. been extremely inappropriate and entitled. Omg, I am so sorry. It sucks. But, in the end, stay together. My mother in law finally lost my husbands respect and attention when she, about 5 years ago, lost at a holiday dinner gathering at me and stooped to so low as to call me a bad mom! It sucks but stay together and have a great marriage, the best revenge is success! Mother in laws who treat their husbands wives ugly are the lowest lutefisk imaginable! They eat their young literally! Can you imagine treatingcsomeone tour child loves and your grandchildrens mother ugly? How barbaraic and unchristian!

Omg, I feel your pain. I have been married for over 25 years to a wonderful Hispanic man, while my in laws, especially my mother in law have despised me pretty much only because I'm a "gringo" blonde. been extremely inappropriate and entitled. Omg, I am so sorry. It sucks. But, in the end, stay together. My mother in law finally lost my husbands respect and attention when she, about 5 years ago, lost at a holiday dinner gathering at me and stooped to so low as to call me a bad mom! It sucks but stay together and have a great marriage, the best revenge is success! Mother in laws who treat their husbands wives ugly are the lowest lutefisk imaginable! They eat their young literally! Can you imagine treatingcsomeone tour child loves and your grandchildrens mother ugly? How barbaraic and unchristian!