Stick With Positive People Or Keep My Enemies (in Laws) Closer ?!??

So my MIL caused a lot of problems causing friction, competition, jealousy, misunderstanding between her two sons! Causing my BIL wife and my self to have the same problems! My MIL can't be proud of my husbands accomplishments aslong as he is next to my side! Her pride won't allow her to do so nor to apologize and admit what she has done and caused. And my BIL is also threatened by our accomplishments so he too wont aknowledge them. Now my husband once a month talks to his mom. And its because she calls leaving a message such as "have you forgotten of having a mother." my husband talks to his bro because of his new born niece once in a blue moon. My bro in law and his wife also made our lives miserable by teaming up with MIL maybe out of jealousy, competion that MIL created! Neither of them apologized!

I have stayed away 2.9 years from In laws! Should i avoid gatherings like we have been doing. Or start coming around even after all the drama! People tell me they are winning if we stay away because we are showing them that we are still pist! Are they winning? I would think that in us staying away would send them a message that their acceptance is not important anymore! Im confused...stick with positive people? Or keep my enemies closer? Help !!!!!!
espy espy
4 Responses Aug 5, 2010

Another crazy thing about in-laws like that is that you question your sanity and wonder what you did wrong in a past life that you're being punished & cursed with people like this in your life. You know who made a world of difference in my life ? my husband's aunt. She was married to my MIL's brother (talk about siblings being like night and day !). This woman stepped in to be the MIL that I didn't have.

Kelly! Thanks for your input! In my case i haven't gone to gatherings because I'm still upset that they have done all this without apologizing. <br />
At mzdonna! Thank u for your comment. I agree no matter if I do right or wrong they will judge negatively as if on purpose they want an excuse to hate me! I guess it is better to keep them away

No, they are not winning if you stay away. Regardless of whether you do or don't go your in-laws are ALWAYS going to talk smack and start trouble.

i have refused to attend any family gathering that my SIL is at......due to the fact that she has NEVER spoken one word to me...but if she is asked...she likes me...ha ha ha i made it a point that it was better me not going then to go and knock her when my son was born my SIL told me that she will have something to do with the baby if i liked it or not....ha ha she has not seen him once and he is almost 2 now.....but my point here is that my SIL is so good at what she does, she looks like the good person and i look like the bad....... if i could go back i would go to every family gathering no matter where it was and be the life of the party.......the hard part in my case was that i was new in the family so no one knew me not going to anything just added to my SIL storied that i was not a nice person........ so if you think you can handle going...then i say go.....but i would be laying some conditions down first......... i probley wouldnt go to anything that was just MIL FIL BIL SIL.....i would make sure that there are alot more people there....<br />
they only win if you let it bother you......<br />
good luck mate. i hope it all works out for you