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My Mother In Law Can Never Do No Wrong In Boyfriends Eyes

Hello,

I really really feel as tho im hitting a brick wall all the time and my mother in law is really starting to become between me and my partner.
my partner has 3 siblings he is the middle child and has never felt much love from his mother unlike the other two children. when i first met my partner he was 28 still living with his mum in debt upto his eyeballs and really didnt have much umph in life bout wanting to do normal things like get his own place,save and buy a car that he had a licence for he never brought clothes just wasted his money on magazines and cds like kids do really i suppose. i didnt meet his parents until 6mths into our relationship and when i did go round to there house for the first time even tho he planned me going round his dad came in the front room said hello and the mother came in popped her head through the door said hello and bye there of food shopping and left !! i thought that wasnt very nice and felt very on edge as my partner planned for me to go round. i didnt really have much to do with them after this point as my partner never invited me back to there house unless his parents were on holiday! in the first year of our relationship i worked very hard with my partner i got him out of debt , saved for a little car for him and he even brought me an engagement ring at xmas .i was really happy and felt as tho i had won the lottery i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him at that point. then it went all down hill from there really when his parents found out bout the engagement  my partner changed inside himself, kept clamming up and saying things like he didnt want to get married in certain places he wanted the opposite to what i wanted choosing funeral songs or songs bout couples braking up as our first dance songs! i was feeling really upset inside because i had told everyone and was really excited bout us getting married and for some strange reason after telling his parents the news it was like a switch had gone off!! i dont know why his parents( mainly mother, his father just goes along with what the mother tells him)hates me so much all i did was go out with her son, help him out of debt and got him on track at that point in his life. a couple of years passed ive never had an invite round (as they hate people turning up on doorstep) and i fell pregnant we both me and my partner decided to keep the baby he moved in with me and at the end of my pregnancy 32wks my sister started fighting with me kicking me in my stomach mainly. i nearly could have lost the baby from what the doctors said. i decided to press charges and had a court case against her 2months after baby was born, my own family turned against me as they didnt want her to go prison(as she has a big record). i started getting depression in late pregnancy all my family was trying to do was play mind games with me. when my daugther was finally born i didnt and couldnt bond with her as i was so stressed and worn out. one week after my daughters birth my own mother didnt know what to do because i was taking my sister to court so just at the time my baby blues were kicking in i get a phone call from my brother shouting at me saying my mum has tried to commit suicide! then to top it off 2 weeks after my baby was born she had an absess in boob that nearly killed her so was in hospital with her for a while then i had this court case to deal with which all i wanted to do was just get on with my child. i was very depressed it just seemed like the whole world cames on my shoulders in a few weeks and just felt as tho i couldnt cope with things. i gave up my job had no friends around me only my partner when he came back from work i was stressed lonely every time i tried to talk to my mum she would shout and scream at me down the phone at me and try to manipulate me into dropping the court charges against my sister( it was like she agreed in wat she done to me wen i was pregnant) i used to snap at my partner when he came home from work because i was deep down lonely scared and felt so alone i used to try and sit there and tell him how i was feeling but he listened but just never spoke back and sat in silence. my partner and i only moved in together at begining of my pregnancy so i was finding it alittle bt hard adjusting to him living with me aswell. i was so depressed from everything i just shut myself away from the world and stayed in my house. i felt like i was having a breakdown. when my daughter was six months old my partner left and went back to his mums house his mum told him that he can live back there but if he moves out again he is not welcome back in her home anymore. he then decided to tell his boss to pay his wages into hs single bank account when our bills were due to go out the next day. what he done was actually made my life gone from worse to even worser i couldnt pay any blls and nearly had mine and kids home taken away i was breast feeeding his daughter and i gave my job up with no income coming in. his parents and hm didnt care less . despite all of this i still had him back as i was so lonely my head all over the place and felt as though  needed him and was ashamed i suppose my little family was broken. its been 2years now his mum and family have never visited my daughter for her birthdays never ask to see her and always go through my partner if they do want to pop in my house like there above me to talk to me . me and my partner still live apart his mum is always saying sarky things about me, when i spoke to her recently as there was another birth in that family she told me i have enough grandchildren and dont want anymore now thank you, who is she to tell me wat to do i thought?? i do want to be able to marry my partner i do want us to live as a family and try to get over everything but i just keep having thoughts on the past and i cant put my children in that situation again if he decides to leave. i dont want to find somebody else because i do love him but am fed up of being treated like a doormat by everyone all the time. his mum and dad really hate me from even before they knew me and i just feel aslong as they are alive my family have no chance in becoming a family as he will always have them to run too and im left in the lurch!! am i really with the right guy here im so confused?? everything his mum says he will do he is now 35 and still at home thanks  
amykatie2009 amykatie2009 26-30 3 Responses Feb 4, 2011

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Omg I feel so sorry for you but so want to know more, your partner is so not worth it... you and your child deserves way better man he's an egg putting in a situation like that... if my partner did that il smack him over hard and his mother too far out... how could he and as for your mother why would she do that ... wen me and my sis had a falling out she got my whole family against me and try to make it as if my boifwend hit hur wen she punched me in the face.... she regrets it now afta the fact i practically mocked her infront of the cops and told the whole family that shes a liar and she deserves nothing but ****** life of sleeping with strangers.... now shes asking me for help but you need your friends if your family aint gonna be there for you during a tough time in your life... your sista deserves to be charged since she put ur baby in danger stuff her k... jus let me knw if you wana tawk ... k you need all the support and shoulders to cry on.... best of luck for you and you baby

Omg... so feel yur pain... MILs dont get along wif DILs for sure.... its like a freakin earthquake wen it **** to huge decisions yur partner will choose the most permanent woman in his life and thats his mother... i reakon we're considered as threats to MILs becoz we're stealing thea son away from them jus like our dads dnt really like our partners becoz they want to b the only man in thea dawters lives... no matter wat, bois seem to always want to make thea mother proud especially MAMAS BOYS they want to bring home a gurl thea mother will be happy about... as long as yur with her son she wil say and do anything she possibly can to avoid you being apart of her family.... at least you don't have to deal with different languages... cultural differences is worst... religious differences even worst.... and parenting up bringing differences EVEN WORST!!!

Hey there...

I just read your post and I just thought I should let you know, I am working on a new documentary style TV show about families dealing with the types of issues you describe here. It will be airing on a major cable network this coming Spring/Summer. based on what you've written I think your family could really benefit from participating. It's a really positive show that aims to bring families closer together! I would love hear more about what your dealing with and tell you more about this new series.

Please feel free to get in touch with me directly,



Amy

amy.cummings@leftfieldpictures.com

212 564 2607 ex: 2339