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My Future Mother In Law Threw Away Debit Card For Me And Check.


I normally am loved by boyfriends parents, especially moms. My own mom never showed affection towards me or my sister. I always wanted hugs or cuddles as a child but never had it from her. Thinking about it now hurts but thats all in the past. 

WheneverI have a boyfriend, I am always close to their moms. Even the worst bf-mom liked me, cause I showed her she cant push me around like she did all the other gf's. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "nobody can make you inferior without your consent".

Now I am engaged to a man I've been with for 3 years, currently I am in another country (working). We have just recently been engaged, and I used my fiancees address for a debit card I really need, debit card not credit card. The first time, his mom thew it out. I'm thinking, she might think it's a credit card and didn't want her son to spend for a woman (im a really forgiving person, usually). Then I had it sent again this year, my fiancee asked his mom to send the card to me. It never arrived. There was also a check for 450 dollars my fiancee sent to me, but it's not even cashed to me, but for something we both wanted to buy. He just needed to send it to me so I can send it myself to the establishment we're going to pay it to. The check, the card, both didn't arrive. 

His mom has this odd habit of throwing away things, like there was this crocs (i know its ugly) shoes my fiancee and i bought together on a trip last year, he was using it as his aqua shoes cause the beach had a lot of rocks that might cut his feet. It tore a little bit and she threw it out without asking him.

I think it would be easier if she was a frank woman, like in your face giving you a long sermon or asking you, or being mean to you in your face, but we spoke on the phone and she seemed all sweet and stuff. I don't get it. 

Her son is currently still working on getting a degree, so she shouldnt think its about money or anything. We don't have anything saved up yet. We're both 30 for heavens sake.

She's always asking him when I was going to get a job, I feel like im pressured to be a lot of things, I feel pressured to go to medical school, and become a doctor.

Sometimes i wonder if my friend was right, if i should marry some old fart w/ a lot of money. It seems either way, we get crap from people.

driedbolete driedbolete 22-25 1 Response Nov 12, 2011

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I don't get some things. Is your fiance living with his mother? And if he's living there, he wouldn't be sending it there, so why didn't you get it? Hopefully, you're not having anything else sent there. You're lucky she didn't use the debit card because the pin number usually goes to the same address as the card.<br />
Whatever you do, never let her live with you, or you live with her. Can you imagine how much of your stuff she would throw away. she sounds very passive aggressive, and those are the worst kinds of mil's to have. Hard to prove they're being nasty when they do it with a smile on their face.