Stolen Moments


So, my husband and I have been together for 5 years now. And married for 3, we have 2 beautiful children and although we are young, we don't act like it.
He works hard to support me and our children, and although he was a teen parent he didn't run away like so many teen fathers do these days. He stayed with me, and at first I thought his mother was happy to be having a little grand-child. Now I'm not so sure she even thinks of them as grandchildren.
My son, who is 4, told me one day that 'nana' told him to call her mama. And that he could call me Jada. I AM his mother, there is no denying it. She was in the room with me as I gave birth at only 17. She was there with me as I struggled with postpartum depression, and she was there with me as my husband had to go back to work to support his young family. I confronted her about this, asking why she would want MY son to call her mama. And she replied with "Since I look after him all the time anyway, he might as well think I'm his mom." She knows this is total bull crap. I am with him 24/7, as well as my 1 year old daughter. She looks after them every other Friday, so I can get some grocery shopping done. She only has them for four hours every TWO weeks. Not even every week. So I don't know how she thinks that's "all the time".
I told my husband about this and he asked her about it later, and she DENIED IT! Flat out. While I was sitting in the living room listening to them talk. She knew I was listening, and she played up the tears to make me seem like the bad one.
After that I had my family look after my kids, but my family has never ever been supportive of me. I'm the bad seed, and my 'dear baby sister' is the good one. I let them down even more by having a child at 17. I am the apple of my fathers eye, but he is manipulated so much by my mother. But that is another story. So I'm not comfortable with my parents, or my sister, looking after my kids while I'm gone. They used all sorts of 'punishment' techniques to 'shape me up' that I don't want my son or daughter to go through.
Any way, So I sent my son and daughter back to my mother in law after about a month of them staying at my parents house for that four hours every two weeks. And at first I figured she had missed them and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize losing them again. (Through everything she did, I can't claim she doesn't love them) but I was wrong, dead wrong.
So, my daughter is a year old, and had hair growing in perfect little blond ringlets. (This seems to be a big thing that happens with bad Mother In Laws so I'm sure you all can see where this is going) so I dropped both of them off on the regular Friday, and she told me she wanted them for a few extra hours so she could go to her mothers house with them in their Halloween costumes. (This was a week before Halloween) I agreed, not going to lie, I like having a break from the kids every so often.

I drove up to her house, to pick up my children and my husbands younger sister (who I've never liked and she's never liked me) answered the door and just smirked at me calling "mom" into the house.
So my 'darling' MIL came to the door, holding my (MY) baby girl, who now had NO hair.
I don't think I can explain how mad that makes a mother... And I don't think anyone will understand until it happens to them. So, obviously she didn't have them for two weeks after that and she promised to be good. So I brought them back over to her house, telling her I'd be back in two hours. And she said okay. So I went on my way to the mall to do some shopping for groceries & clothes. And I walked into my dear MIL. :/
She was holding my screaming/crying daughter and my daughter never cries. And my son said "Mommy, look! Nana got Celeste's ears pierced!" And sure enough. Right there in the middle of my darling babies ears were studs.
My husband and I had talked about getting her ears pierced, and we agreed we'd wait until she asked for them. Now that's ruined. And she took TWO big moments away from me, her first hair cut & her ear piercing. :(

Anyway, this was all fairly recently. But this is just stuff she's done with our children. She's called me every name in the book, and spread lies about me to the rest of her family.

Thanks to anyone who read this whole thing.
JadaLynne JadaLynne
18-21, F
5 Responses Nov 13, 2011

I would be upset too. And i would make sure that any earrings dear grandma bought for her got thrown in the trash. You can just tell her you can't find them.. At least you can get those for your dear daughter. these mil's don't know the meaning of boundaries. They are disgusting.

I just so wish I lived closer ( I'm in the UK). Do not let her have your kids at all. Concentrate on baby and toddler groups from now on, trust me the support will be endless. Add me as a friend

Please hire a baby sitter and don't let your MIL have your children in your absence any more. Tell her she's overstepped ALL the boundaries. My MIL is horrible, too, but I have made her to respect my boundaries, and we live with her!! I have a 4 year old daughter, and now she watches her tongue before speaking. Anyways, we shall move out in several months...

I am so sorry to hear about your problems - can you get a reciprocal baby minding arrangement with a friend who has young kids? Good luck!

I think you need to stop taking your children to her house. She's clearly overstepping the boundaries and has no respect for you as parents.

Thank-you for commenting. <3
And yeah, I think I will stop. Maybe my older sister can look after them for a while.
I think the reason she is so... pushy... is because we lived with her after we had my son, because I was still seventeen and we didn't have the money to move out. So while I was at school every day (for like 3 months, I was still in high school) she would look after him. So she feels a deeper bond with them then a normal grandmother would.
But she needs to realize, I am their mother.