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My Crazy Selfish Mother-in Law Torments Me

My MIL is either the root of all evil or simply the most self-absorbed #*!* on the planet. My husband and I have been married for three years and together for six.  In the beginning this vial woman was simply moderately rude and annoying to me, yet as time has progressed she has become simply unbearable. My husband is an only child who, on his 17th birthday joined the army (perhaps there was someone at his home that he couldn't stand). Yet since I know my husband is her only child and that he does have a job that adds a lot of stress to his family I have bent over backwards trying to please this woman, and yet she has never once been anything but obnoxious to me.  On my wedding day she promised to cater the bridal suite with food for me and my bridesmaids. Instead she brought a bag of carrot sticks (and no, this woman is not a health freak, she is actually rather heavy) and her best friend from college. They then proceeded to drink al of the champagne that was there for the bridal party, send my mother off to handle all the last minute details at the church (as opposed to actually helping out for once, or even going to the church to torment her own son) and then she was so drunk she decided she was going to ride in the limo with me and my bridesmaids along with her collage buddy. She has never once apologized for her behavior. Then at the reception she had her pastor give a blessing which contradicted my beliefs and the beliefs of my friends, while I sat at the table in tears.

     Two years ago my husband was preparing for his first combat tour. Knowing how fragile and obsessed his mother was, I thought it would be a nice idea to buy them a puppy to help keep their minds occupied during the deployment. Well, after getting the puppy caring for it four a couple of weeks, and then flying to Chicago with it to deliver it to them, it seemed that I had struck gold and that I had finally pleased this wretched woman.  My MIL became so instantly obsessed with this dog, that when my husband was getting on a plane to fly to a war zone, she wouldn't get out of the car to give him a hug goodbye. During Christmas that year, I had an opportunity to go skiing with my family (who happen to be from the same city as my in laws). However my in laws refused to watch my dog (because an extra dog was simply too much) thus I had to stay home, alone on the holidays because of my lazy, selfish mother-in-law. Fast forwarded a year later when my husband is safely home (with a new dog he rescued from Afghanistan) and we have just bought a new home.  We fill our nights and weekends playing with our dogs and remodeling our home. As to be expected in the military, we get a call that my husband will have back to back deployments and we only have six weeks before he leaves. Like a good wife/daughter in law, I tell my husband that we really ought to have his parents and grandparents down before he deploys again. I only had one simple request, since I now have two dogs (one of which is a wild dog from Afghanistan) and one of our renovations was brand new hardwood floors, I would appreciate it if his parents left their dog with a friend. My husband thought that  was a more than reasonable request and agreed whole-heartedly. Yet when he invited his parents, yet asked that they leave the dog at home, his wretched mother, said NO. She said that she would be coming to our house (on mothers day of all times) and that she would be brining the dog.  My husband said he would have stood up to her, but she said if she couldn't bring the dog she wouldn't come down to say goodbye to him. Seriously what kind of emotionally disturbed woman would rather rot in her own home holding a dog that hates her, than come down and spend time with her only child before he goes to war.

        Despite all the evil and hateful things this woman has done to me, the worst is that she doesn't treat my husband as well as he deserves to be treated. He's not perfected, nobody is. But he is a great guy and he deserves a mother who loves him and wants to shower him with affection rather than feed her own selfish desires.

lawjunkie lawjunkie 22-25, F 6 Responses Apr 16, 2008

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my mother in law is 84, an old hag, i'm only 28, i married her 56 year old son. Problem is we live with the witch. she is Selfish and Cheap and controlling and oh sooo freaking anoying. She grudges me being there and is so jealous. She HATES the fact that oneday the house will be mine. She lied to my face telling me that when she died the house was going to be split with her other children. I asked my husband to see the house deed and found out that when she dies the house goes completely to my husband. This is why she hates me. She acts phony but deep down She is bitter and hateful. She is so sneaky and is alway taking digs at me. She is the cheapest son of a ***** alive today in all the world, I swear. She stays in the dark all day to save electricity and she puts in the tiniest drop of soap for laundry or dishes (which is the only reason she wants to do them). She tries to get me to save but at least my Husband puts her in her place. She came in the washroom once when i was in there and told me not to leave the soap pump driping because its waistful. there was a dried up tiny peice of liquid soap there and she proceeded to "teach me" how to use it. And no word of a lie, she took the dried up peice of soap and washed her hands with it. She is freaking sick and its driving me crazy. She gets mad when theres brocoli boiled and we pour the water down the drain. she wants to save it and drink it or water her plant with it. Im telling you, she is soooo cheap she gets about a thousand five hundred a month pension and at church I see her put in two quarters....(on a good day) When i try to cook she always has to interfere and lower my burner temperature and put it on a smaller burner.... I feel like saying mind your own buisness and get a life ya old hag. But of coarse i dont. I have the best husband in the world, i just cant believe he came from something so evil and self centered. My husband is the only sibling who cares and takes care of his mother, he pays the mortgage and buys the groceries, drives her where she needs to go, buys her gifts ect. Yet she treats him so bad. He needed to borrow money once but she refused out of greed and and the evil desire to see him fail and so it ruined his credit rating. He makes good money but because of our wedding trip he was in debt. She helped by lending 4 thousand for a car.<br />
But she writes down every penny to be paid back. She is so greedy and himmey. Even if he's short for mortgage and asked to borrow some money she she track and record right down to the penny. <br />
Also she puts it all on her credit card even though she has soooo much saved money in the bank (thanks to him paying everything and taking care of her). She want him to fail because she's jealous of him. Most mothers would say "Son, you take care of me and I would be in a home if it wasnt for you so here take the money its the least i can do". But this woman is so greedy and selfish.<br />
Never even gave him a Chirstmas or Birthday card let alone gift. Once we all went to Goodness me the health store (I guess she's trying to outlive my husband for the house) and we helped her get things she was looking for. in the checkout line she had 100 dollars worth of things she bought herself and I had a 2 dollar chap stick and was behind her in line. I even hinted and said i didnt have change. My husband had to offer to buy it for me but it was so insulting that she buy everything for herself and cant pay the price of a coffee for me. I was embarrased infront of all thoes people in the store. I felf ashamed that "That" was my mother in law. Whenever i go in the kitchen she always has to come in and inspect what im doing make sure im not waisting anything. She's taken food she thought was good out of the garbage where i put it and ate it. She just wants to save sooo bad.<br />
Once i had my bowl I left on the counter, i had finished greek salad and had oniions left in the bowl.<br />
well i find her eating the onions, and i tell her very plainly that I sucked and chewed on thoes onions and they were there for compost. other times shes eaten things that have fallen on the ground without knowing. Its not my fault if she wants to eat my garbage. She is so sick, she will eat thiings that have gone bad or started to go bad rather than the fresh food. she doesnt want to waist a thing.<br />
We've told her and told her whats the point of saveing a penny and getting sick. by the time you eat the old food the fresh food will be old, but she's sooooo stuborn and STUPID!!!! It Drives me crazy. No one comes to visit her obviously or wants to take care of her because she is soooo selfish. The house is filled with her junk and garbage that everytime i look at it i just want to throw it out. Its a dark and depressing house, with old crapy ugly stuff and every surface is covered with her ugly garbage wich she thinks is wonderful. We cant even decorate or move things or throw out any of her crap.... My husband is wayyyy too nice to her. I tried to put my stuff in a storage room and later that day i found she draged it back to my room. All the stuff we own litterally is stuffed in two rooms and that's all she alows us. Well I did talk to my husband and hes told her I can keep some stuff in the storage room. But still, its not my home here i cant bear it. She's so depressingly cheap and evil.<br />
She sits in the dark all day reading with whatever little sunlight comes in and im just not comfortable here. the worst part is that she grudges me. She looks at everything I eat and makes her comments.<br />
Saying how I'm waisting or eating a lot. I come from a family where i have never been grudged so its very upsetting for me. I've been married for only two months so far but before I married my husband we agreed that we would eventually move out and worst case senario have a granny suite but with seprate locks on our door and entrances. I cant wait for that day. We are currently renovating and boy let me tell you she is sure cheap wanting to keep the old house looking welfare like. God Grant me paitience please. Theres a million cheap stories i can tell you about her but It would take a lifetime explain all the ways she is so sick and evil. And she has the most evil faces. Her face is so old and wrinkled and ragedy that I cant bear to look at it in the first place. But when ever my husband asks her to put money in the house for repairs her face gets even uglier and she gets mad and I'd rather look at puke... honestly. She had old old and i mean old (they were probably very old when she was very young) raggedy thin material curtains up that were so old they lost the hem. You could see threw the material too. but she sewed the thing back together to use the damn hideous rag for another century. We life in a horible area and its not safe because of drug people and criminals. So my husband tells us to always leave the porch light on outside to keep safe. As I am writing this I can tell you its not on. That's because there is a cheapskate in the house. Oneday i tried to turn it on and his mother ob<x>ject and I inquire why? and she says I want to save electricity.<br />
I feel light she stands by the door and listens when i run water and will be ready to tell me off for using too much of it. I'm sick of this, Unless you have lived threw this you have no idea. She got mad at me today and defensive when I came in the house and turned the light on and said your going to go blind its so dark. (She was doing the dishes, and I could barely find my way to the lightswitch) that makes me feel real sure that she can see the dishes and that they are actualy clean. (Done in always cold water of coarse) Then She starts going on about something how her eyes are sensitive to light. I just said oh ok. But she's sooo defensive and it's because she knows she lieying, she wont admidt she's cheap and selfish and lives in fear. She needs help but is way to prideful to get it. when we tell her we're concerned when we see her eating very old food she blows up and has a tantrum and says she's from the depression. Get over it, or get help for it, dont ruin my life and anoy the crap out of me. Her bedroom is way too close to ours and at night i cant sleep because i hear and smell her foul old rotten food that has gone threw her terribly aged and rotting body. I wish April would come sooner. That's the earliest we can sell this damn nightmare of a house. She's the monster though and everyday my reality is dealing with her, stomaching her cheapness, keeping it all bottled up inside, being kind to her despite her evil way and lies.<br />
She continuously lies to make herself look like the good guy and make my husband look like the bad guy. But I always find out the facts that shes' lying and so I just say im not interested and walk away when she tires to feed me her disgusting bullshit. I'm tired of her. It's annoying, its a hassal, I have to hide my personal things and throw out my garbage somewhere eles because she goes thew it. Of coarse she has no life and nothing eles to do. But I hate it. If I throw anyting in the garbage she'll go trew it because she is nosy first of all but second of all because she is obsessed about recycling right down to the last drop, just like that dried up peice of soap I told you about. She's sick in the head, and she is so negative, always puts my husband down and shoots down his plans and ideas and tries to cause him grief and go against him. She is such a liar It makes me absolutely sick. She lies and tells stories that she helps my husband and that she saved him. That couldnt be farther from the truth. My husband put his name on the house and started paying mortgage because she couldnt aford bills mortgage food and had a **** load of debt and had to remortgage the damn house. So theres hardly anything in, maybe only what He's put in it and a bit more, but she wants to hold it like its her god. She talks behind my back, (acts all friendly and phoney with me) but behind my backs tells everyone including my husband that she thinks i'm a free loader and only after money. My husband is currently in a little debt and doesnt have what you'd call assets. She is so evil and Cheap. I am a good honest woman and he's lucky to have me and I'm lucky to have him. He is so generous with what he has, and if he had more he would give more, but his mother, has a lot but doesnt share a little. When kids come to the door for food she turns them away, my husband and I fed them of coarse. She makes my stomach turn, i dont want to be near someone so heartless bitter and cold. I dont care what you've been threw in life, we all have the resposibility to get help and be good people. You had 84 years Ishabelle! What makes me so upset is when my husband puts out milk and food for stray cats she complains about them being around, and then takes the milk back in saying the cat was already getting fat and proably had a home.<br />
I'm shaking my head right now. If you feel for me at all in my situation, trying to cope with an elderly sick and selfish decaying old person, please pray that she changes and learns to do Gods Will.<br />
I try to stay focused on my own life and not let her bother me, but she's hurt me a lot by being selfish, grudgieng me everything, never being happy for me, always being negative and continuously lying to me. My father is also selfish and cheap but I thank the good Lord i wasnt raised by him. I would never have a child brought up around someone so selfish because she only brings people down. And by that I mean me and my husband. Shes so anoying the things she talks about,...."I dont like these crackers but I'm eating them"... I feel like saying good for you cheap wad, let nothing go to waist. At times like these I'm so thankful I believe in God and that after this life he judges fairly. I trust and leave that up to Him. I go on and try to focus on my own life so I get to go to heaven. If you have people who are mean in your life, who intentionaly bring you down, whom you cant get away from because of your situation, hang in there and pray. Always treat people with respect even if they are mean and disrespect you. be an example. I know that ****** them off the most, when you dont show your upset or angy but just egnore and pretend it doesnt bother you.

my mother in law is 84, an old hag, i'm only 28, i married her 56 year old son. Problem is we live with the witch. she is Selfish and Cheap and controlling and oh sooo freaking anoying. She grudges me being there and is so jealous. She HATES the fact that oneday the house will be mine. She lied to my face telling me that when she died the house was going to be split with her other children. I asked my husband to see the house deed and found out that when she dies the house goes completely to my husband. This is why she hates me. She acts phony but deep down She is bitter and hateful. She is so sneaky and is alway taking digs at me. She is the cheapest son of a ***** alive today in all the world, I swear. She stays in the dark all day to save electricity and she puts in the tiniest drop of soap for laundry or dishes (which is the only reason she wants to do them). She tries to get me to save but at least my Husband puts her in her place. She came in the washroom once when i was in there and told me not to leave the soap pump driping because its waistful. there was a dried up tiny peice of liquid soap there and she proceeded to "teach me" how to use it. And no word of a lie, she took the dried up peice of soap and washed her hands with it. She is freaking sick and its driving me crazy. She gets mad when theres brocoli boiled and we pour the water down the drain. she wants to save it and drink it or water her plant with it. Im telling you, she is soooo cheap she gets about a thousand five hundred a month pension and at church I see her put in two quarters....(on a good day) When i try to cook she always has to interfere and lower my burner temperature and put it on a smaller burner.... I feel like saying mind your own buisness and get a life ya old hag. But of coarse i dont. I have the best husband in the world, i just cant believe he came from something so evil and self centered. My husband is the only sibling who cares and takes care of his mother, he pays the mortgage and buys the groceries, drives her where she needs to go, buys her gifts ect. Yet she treats him so bad. He needed to borrow money once but she refused out of greed and and the evil desire to see him fail and so it ruined his credit rating. He makes good money but because of our wedding trip he was in debt. She helped by lending 4 thousand for a car.<br />
But she writes down every penny to be paid back. She is so greedy and himmey. Even if he's short for mortgage and asked to borrow some money she she track and record right down to the penny. <br />
Also she puts it all on her credit card even though she has soooo much saved money in the bank (thanks to him paying everything and taking care of her). She want him to fail because she's jealous of him. Most mothers would say "Son, you take care of me and I would be in a home if it wasnt for you so here take the money its the least i can do". But this woman is so greedy and selfish.<br />
Never even gave him a Chirstmas or Birthday card let alone gift. Once we all went to Goodness me the health store (I guess she's trying to outlive my husband for the house) and we helped her get things she was looking for. in the checkout line she had 100 dollars worth of things she bought herself and I had a 2 dollar chap stick and was behind her in line. I even hinted and said i didnt have change. My husband had to offer to buy it for me but it was so insulting that she buy everything for herself and cant pay the price of a coffee for me. I was embarrased infront of all thoes people in the store. I felf ashamed that "That" was my mother in law. Whenever i go in the kitchen she always has to come in and inspect what im doing make sure im not waisting anything. She's taken food she thought was good out of the garbage where i put it and ate it. She just wants to save sooo bad.<br />
Once i had my bowl I left on the counter, i had finished greek salad and had oniions left in the bowl.<br />
well i find her eating the onions, and i tell her very plainly that I sucked and chewed on thoes onions and they were there for compost. other times shes eaten things that have fallen on the ground without knowing. Its not my fault if she wants to eat my garbage. She is so sick, she will eat thiings that have gone bad or started to go bad rather than the fresh food. she doesnt want to waist a thing.<br />
We've told her and told her whats the point of saveing a penny and getting sick. by the time you eat the old food the fresh food will be old, but she's sooooo stuborn and STUPID!!!! It Drives me crazy. No one comes to visit her obviously or wants to take care of her because she is soooo selfish. The house is filled with her junk and garbage that everytime i look at it i just want to throw it out. Its a dark and depressing house, with old crapy ugly stuff and every surface is covered with her ugly garbage wich she thinks is wonderful. We cant even decorate or move things or throw out any of her crap.... My husband is wayyyy too nice to her. I tried to put my stuff in a storage room and later that day i found she draged it back to my room. All the stuff we own litterally is stuffed in two rooms and that's all she alows us. Well I did talk to my husband and hes told her I can keep some stuff in the storage room. But still, its not my home here i cant bear it. She's so depressingly cheap and evil.<br />
She sits in the dark all day reading with whatever little sunlight comes in and im just not comfortable here. the worst part is that she grudges me. She looks at everything I eat and makes her comments.<br />
Saying how I'm waisting or eating a lot. I come from a family where i have never been grudged so its very upsetting for me. I've been married for only two months so far but before I married my husband we agreed that we would eventually move out and worst case senario have a granny suite but with seprate locks on our door and entrances. I cant wait for that day. We are currently renovating and boy let me tell you she is sure cheap wanting to keep the old house looking welfare like. God Grant me paitience please. Theres a million cheap stories i can tell you about her but It would take a lifetime explain all the ways she is so sick and evil. And she has the most evil faces. Her face is so old and wrinkled and ragedy that I cant bear to look at it in the first place. But when ever my husband asks her to put money in the house for repairs her face gets even uglier and she gets mad and I'd rather look at puke... honestly. She had old old and i mean old (they were probably very old when she was very young) raggedy thin material curtains up that were so old they lost the hem. You could see threw the material too. but she sewed the thing back together to use the damn hideous rag for another century. We life in a horible area and its not safe because of drug people and criminals. So my husband tells us to always leave the porch light on outside to keep safe. As I am writing this I can tell you its not on. That's because there is a cheapskate in the house. Oneday i tried to turn it on and his mother ob<x>ject and I inquire why? and she says I want to save electricity.<br />
I feel light she stands by the door and listens when i run water and will be ready to tell me off for using too much of it. I'm sick of this, Unless you have lived threw this you have no idea. She got mad at me today and defensive when I came in the house and turned the light on and said your going to go blind its so dark. (She was doing the dishes, and I could barely find my way to the lightswitch) that makes me feel real sure that she can see the dishes and that they are actualy clean. (Done in always cold water of coarse) Then She starts going on about something how her eyes are sensitive to light. I just said oh ok. But she's sooo defensive and it's because she knows she lieying, she wont admidt she's cheap and selfish and lives in fear. She needs help but is way to prideful to get it. when we tell her we're concerned when we see her eating very old food she blows up and has a tantrum and says she's from the depression. Get over it, or get help for it, dont ruin my life and anoy the crap out of me. Her bedroom is way too close to ours and at night i cant sleep because i hear and smell her foul old rotten food that has gone threw her terribly aged and rotting body. I wish April would come sooner. That's the earliest we can sell this damn nightmare of a house. She's the monster though and everyday my reality is dealing with her, stomaching her cheapness, keeping it all bottled up inside, being kind to her despite her evil way and lies.<br />
She continuously lies to make herself look like the good guy and make my husband look like the bad guy. But I always find out the facts that shes' lying and so I just say im not interested and walk away when she tires to feed me her disgusting bullshit. I'm tired of her. It's annoying, its a hassal, I have to hide my personal things and throw out my garbage somewhere eles because she goes thew it. Of coarse she has no life and nothing eles to do. But I hate it. If I throw anyting in the garbage she'll go trew it because she is nosy first of all but second of all because she is obsessed about recycling right down to the last drop, just like that dried up peice of soap I told you about. She's sick in the head, and she is so negative, always puts my husband down and shoots down his plans and ideas and tries to cause him grief and go against him. She is such a liar It makes me absolutely sick. She lies and tells stories that she helps my husband and that she saved him. That couldnt be farther from the truth. My husband put his name on the house and started paying mortgage because she couldnt aford bills mortgage food and had a **** load of debt and had to remortgage the damn house. So theres hardly anything in, maybe only what He's put in it and a bit more, but she wants to hold it like its her god. She talks behind my back, (acts all friendly and phoney with me) but behind my backs tells everyone including my husband that she thinks i'm a free loader and only after money. My husband is currently in a little debt and doesnt have what you'd call assets. She is so evil and Cheap. I am a good honest woman and he's lucky to have me and I'm lucky to have him. He is so generous with what he has, and if he had more he would give more, but his mother, has a lot but doesnt share a little. When kids come to the door for food she turns them away, my husband and I fed them of coarse. She makes my stomach turn, i dont want to be near someone so heartless bitter and cold. I dont care what you've been threw in life, we all have the resposibility to get help and be good people. You had 84 years Ishabelle! What makes me so upset is when my husband puts out milk and food for stray cats she complains about them being around, and then takes the milk back in saying the cat was already getting fat and proably had a home.<br />
I'm shaking my head right now. If you feel for me at all in my situation, trying to cope with an elderly sick and selfish decaying old person, please pray that she changes and learns to do Gods Will.<br />
I try to stay focused on my own life and not let her bother me, but she's hurt me a lot by being selfish, grudgieng me everything, never being happy for me, always being negative and continuously lying to me. My father is also selfish and cheap but I thank the good Lord i wasnt raised by him. I would never have a child brought up around someone so selfish because she only brings people down. And by that I mean me and my husband. Shes so anoying the things she talks about,...."I dont like these crackers but I'm eating them"... I feel like saying good for you cheap wad, let nothing go to waist. At times like these I'm so thankful I believe in God and that after this life he judges fairly. I trust and leave that up to Him. I go on and try to focus on my own life so I get to go to heaven. If you have people who are mean in your life, who intentionaly bring you down, whom you cant get away from because of your situation, hang in there and pray. Always treat people with respect even if they are mean and disrespect you. be an example. I know that ****** them off the most, when you dont show your upset or angy but just egnore and pretend it doesnt bother you.

My mil came over to stay with us for 6 months from india.<br />
We just bouth a new home, had a 6 month old baby and fat mothage to pay along with other brand new items for our new home to pay off. We really didn't need any more expenses. <br />
<br />
What does my mil go and do??? Shop every weekend with our savings, my husband didn't havethe guys to say no to her. She didn't even bring any money with her and on top of it she bought everyone in india a preset from our money!!!! <br />
<br />
Now if that's not selfish then I don't know what is. <br />
I have now told my husband I don't wanty inlaws to say with us for more then a month when they visit us. I don't want to cause am argument between mtg inlaws and myself that wud upset my husband.<br />
<br />
How dare she manipulate my husband into taking her shopping an buying her and te rest of the family gifts with our savings!!!! she really knows how to blackmail her son into making him get everything she wants. My sister inlaws is the same. <br />
<br />
If I say anything then they will think that I'm jealously something. I mean why would I be jealous, I'm worried about my savings!!! <br />
<br />
Anyways now I have decided that when they come over I will tell my mil "no shopping with my money"! My husband is such a coward for not telling her but then again she's very manipulating when it cones to her son coz she knows he will do whatever she wants.<br />
<br />
Indian mother inlaws are just too much!!! God help me, one day I'll really give her a piece of my mind if she expects too much.

My mil came over to stay with us for 6 months from india.<br />
We just bouth a new home, had a 6 month old baby and fat mothage to pay along with other brand new items for our new home to pay off. We really didn't need any more expenses. <br />
<br />
What does my mil go and do??? Shop every weekend with our savings, my husband didn't havethe guys to say no to her. She didn't even bring any money with her and on top of it she bought everyone in india a preset from our money!!!! <br />
<br />
Now if that's not selfish then I don't know what is. <br />
I have now told my husband I don't wanty inlaws to say with us for more then a month when they visit us. I don't want to cause am argument between mtg inlaws and myself that wud upset my husband.<br />
<br />
How dare she manipulate my husband into taking her shopping an buying her and te rest of the family gifts with our savings!!!! she really knows how to blackmail her son into making him get everything she wants. My sister inlaws is the same. <br />
<br />
If I say anything then they will think that I'm jealously something. I mean why would I be jealous, I'm worried about my savings!!! <br />
<br />
Anyways now I have decided that when they come over I will tell my mil "no shopping with my money"! My husband is such a coward for not telling her but then again she's very manipulating when it cones to her son coz she knows he will do whatever she wants.<br />
<br />
Indian mother inlaws are just too much!!! God help me, one day I'll really give her a piece of my mind if she expects too much.

Some women just aren't capable of being warm, loving and affectionate. Thankfully their sons are. I think they know what has been missing growing up. Luckily we're there to provide it.<br />
<br />
:)

aww ... thats so sad. How is your husband doing?