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I Hate My Mother In Law

Til Death Becomes Her

By: Cholin29
Written on March 7th, 2012
I don't make a habit of wishing death on people, but I can't stand this *****.

I hate my ******* mother in law.

She contributed to breaking up our first marriage and now hundreds of miles away and a second time around still finds a way to impose. How does a person who doesn't live with you make you feel like you don't belong in your own house, even over the phone, even when you're not the one on it?

I now have one more reason to not want another kid. Another one would prolong the misery. Another one would bond me to her yet again. Another one would give her more reason to act like I don't matter, and twice as many reasons to say the only half-assed nice thing outside of bullshit chit chat that she's ever said about me: "You're a good parent." And even that's fairly recent and our daughter's almost twelve.

I know that whatever she wants or asks, even if it's none of her business, it will become her business.

I cannot wait until she is gone and the only thing left to do is pay my respects.
By: Cholin29
Age: 26-30
604 people have read this story

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10 responses
  • sombradetikvah
    sombradetikvah

    I wish death on my mother in law. I've decided that if I ever find a genie in a bottle, wish #1 is that MIL gets hit by a bus.



    If she deserves it, she deserves it. Don't pay your respects.....plan the after-party!

    Mar 14, 2012
    3 likes
  • peace919
    peace919

    UGH -- I feel your pain. And can appreciate your "looking forward to the future"….as sad as that sounds. Mine is just as manipulative and hates my guts….it's really an awful way to live. Best of luck!

    Mar 10, 2012
    1 like
    • Cholin29
      Cholin29

      Thanks. Living in another state helps, but I still hate what she represents.

      Mar 10, 2012
      1 like
  • wasthewife
    wasthewife

    So, is she following the boundaries? And your husband, too? The hardest part is usually getting the husband to see what his mother is really like. They have such a hard time believing their mother can be nasty and manipulative. Even when it's right in front of their faces. That just amazes me.

    Mar 10, 2012
    2 likes
  • wasthewife
    wasthewife

    she can only tie up the phone for 3 hours if you let her. Tell her you're busy and that you have to go, then hang up. If she calls back, don't answer. You already told her you were busy.

    Inlaws can only get away with what you let them. You have to set up boundaries and make them stick to them. If they don't, there are consequences, like a time out. Just like a child that misbehaves.

    And your spouse has to be on board with this. If they're not, then you have a spouse problem and not an inlaw problem. gl

    Mar 10, 2012
    3 likes
    • pstno
      pstno

      I told my husband this - there are boundaries that she MUST respect, and if not there are consequence. First of all, she can no longer talk about me to him EVER. Period. Unless she is going to sing my praises, she needs to keep her mouth shut.

      Mar 10, 2012
      1 like
    • Cholin29
      Cholin29

      Spouse problem -- I agree. Always finding some justification. Or calling her instead. Or calling on the cell phone. Or calling me mean because I point out she doesn't really care about me--like when I picked her up from the train station on her last visit, I'm driving all of us home and she starts making chit-chat with me about my classes, then suddenly cuts me off to start talking about something else with everyone else as soon as I start talking back. They're an entire family of people who lack the ability to think of anyone but themselves

      Mar 10, 2012
      1 like
  • Cholin29
    Cholin29

    After I cooled off a bit I realized I felt like you. I don't necessarily want her to die (all the time), but I wish she wasn't in our lives. The rest of their family--I don't see them anyway.



    It kills me to know I go out of my way for her when she's here, get her gifts on birthdays and holidays, but she'll call and tie up the only phone in my house for over three hours without acknowledging my existence. Instead I get one of those "tell everybody I said hi" kind of things, you know, that lazy **** you do when you can't care to be bothered with extending personal courtesies. Maybe I'll adopt the same attitude when Mother's Day comes around.

    Mar 8, 2012
    3 likes
    • pstno
      pstno

      I understand needing to cool off, believe me! Mine aggravates the sh*t out of me, it gets me so steamed. I can relate to the lack of appreciation your MIL seems to show you. Mine will ask about my family just to be nosy, but really couldn't care less about me or them. Everything is all about her, her daughter, and her grandchildren.

      I will never acknowledge my MIL on Mother's Day. I'm not even going to remind my hubby to remember her on Mother's Day, either - usually I've been the one to remind him, you know how guys are with forgetting stuff. We owe her NOTHING. You owe your MIL nothing, either.

      Mar 10, 2012
      1 like
  • pstno
    pstno

    I don't wish death on my MIL but I swear I wish we were not related. If I knew I'd feel like this towards her, I may have re-thought my marriage. But she didn't really get under my skin until well into the engagement. I can't believe all the ways I have been nice to her and she appreciated nothing. She just the strangest, most self-involved, dumb and insensitive person I have ever had to deal with.



    I am sure that when MIL dies, which hopefully won't be for a while, then there will be issues with the rest of that family. I couldn't care less about her estate or any money. I'd just rather not deal with any of them.

    Mar 8, 2012
    2 likes