Borderline Personality Mil: Crazy!
My MIL has Borderline Personality Disorder, in a nutshell it means that she is two-faced, manipulative, sneaky, and just plain off. I have been with my husband for over 8 years and she has caused me MANY hours of stress due to her lying, nasty, hurtful comments to others (for NO reason), even once accusing my husband and I of taking advantage of her mother when we sold her a car for over a thousand dollars less than the value, allowing her to pay us $105/monthly due to the fact that she was on a fixed income (that was over 3 1/2 years ago, the car is still running smoothly!). The most recent issue I have is that I just had back surgery and my Mother has been staying with us to help me with my almost 2 year-old son. My MIL called my Mom and proceeded to rip on me, telling my Mom how I talk rudely to her (my own mother) and also treat my husband like a boy and not a man. She then told my husband that I control his mind and tell him what to think, even stating that I tell him that they do not love him. Needless to say, these things are untrue and we were scheduled to have my son's 2nd BDay party at her house, but she told my husband that we should reschedule because of her mother's heart trouble, that she may need surgery. When I did (I had already sent out the invites), I wrote that we all wished for her mother to get well soon. She called up stating that my comment was "cold as ice" and then left hours of nasty message s about myself and my mother. We rescheduled the party, and my Mom was nice enough to pay since I am not working due to disability. Originally I did not want to invite her, but have since decided that it is about my son and that she can come as long as she behaves herself and stays away from me and my Mother. I just found out that she called my Dad and his wife to discuss this, which is TOTALLY inappropriate since I do not discuss my personal business with him. My question is, at what point can I say enough is enough and refuse to allow her around us anymore? Will I be hurting my son if I keep him from her? She has been irresponsible with him in the past, I have caught her outside when he was 14 mos inside, driving him with the carseat not tightened, etc. I say NO MORE unsupervised visits, but what if I want to cut off contact all together? Is that mean to my son? How much do we need to endure to justify estrangement? Thanks, I am exasperated!