A True Monster In Law

So, I met my fiance's mom in February of this year when I spent ten days at their house. I went thinking that his sister was going to be the person that I wasn't going to be compatible with, as our politics didn't mesh and she was super protective of her brother. Also, she has mental disorders and sometimes refuses to take her medication. However, his sister was so sweet towards me and genuinely made the effort to get to know me and be friends. I was told that his mom was sweet and would love me just because he did.

Never in my life have I heard such bullshit.

She was constantly belittling him, telling him how worthless he is, and that he's leaving her in a whole big mess with bills from when he and his brother were in high school. She was constantly telling me how I have such a big job now because my fiance is lazy and useless.
I thought, at the time, that she was just trying to emotionally distance herself from him because he was moving away and getting married, and I mediated fights between them constantly.

I got annoyed with her calling me a child, and treating me as one while we were there. Almost everything she said alluded to me being young, naive, or stupid.

Apparently, according to her, I know nothing about the world I live in because I lack experience. She, apparently, knows everything... including the thoughts of EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD.
She, who refuses to leave her house unless absolutely necessary, who never talks to a person who isn't her son, daughter, or husband. (and even that was just malicious things tearing them down). According to her, all white people are racist and will look down on me for marrying her half Asian son and treat me poorly if I have babies that aren't all blonde hair and blue eyes ("lily white babies" she called them). The hilarity of this is that both she and I are white. Oh, and she hates how racist the rest of the world is while referring to the African Americans around her every racial slur she could think of, calling all other white people the devil, and complaining about Mexicans.

She wouldn't let anyone else cook or clean, and insisted on treating everyone like an incompetent five year old.
I was so nice to her the entire time I was there, it physically pained me. I was glad when he and I came back to my home.

Now, me and my fiance are unable to afford a house or an apartment, so we live with my parents who genuinely love him.

We live a state away, and one would think that meant she would not be such a constant pain in mine and his *****... but, alas, t'was not meant to be.

She started by constantly texting him, then constantly trying to call him, then guilt tripping him when he didn't text her back all the time or answer her calls.
Then, she started calling me and accusing me of being pregnant and trying to hide it, because that's the only reason her son would be so gun-ho about marrying me.
Next, she starts talking about how he shouldn't have to be suffered to do his own laundry. (which I had to teach him to do)
About how, it's a wife's job to  cook and clean for her husband and I'm in the wrong for making him even fold the laundry I washed and dried. 
Constantly, she talked down about me to my fiance.

I went to stay with a pregnant friend for a few days to help her, and the **** continued. She sent multiple texts about how I shouldn't shouldn't be "off partying" with my friends, and how my "place" was at home with him as well as some other things.

When I came home, I sent her this text:

"Gina, if you have a problem with me, I'd rather you talk to me about it than talk down about me to Chris. If you want to know what I do, when I do it, or why I do it you have my number. My phone works regardless of if the accusations or slander you spew out of it is of me being a pregnant liar, or any of the other things you want to say. You're more likely to get a full and accurate account of things involving me from me directly, rather than spouting off at Chris about whatever wrongs you imagine I've committed.  So much for welcoming me to your family."

She then forwards this message to her son, rather than confront me.

Afterwards, she starts posting articles on "how to get rid of my adult sons white trash girlfriend" and "My son has an obnoxious ***** girlfriend."
And saying things about how she should be his number one, because he and I are bound for divorce anyways.

I showed these to him last night, and just a few hours after saying he'll talk to her and how he won't give her a "now, now mom, you shouldn't do that." gentle sort of talk, he starts talking about extending an "olive branch" towards her. I don't know who's more unbelievable.

This isn't even touching on the verbal, mental, and emotional abuse to her daughter and husband.
I'm beginning to believe those sexual abuse accusations from the younger brother.

I haven't talked to her since that text, but I plan on it. I just don't know how to go about it.
God, I hate that *****.
WeMayBeMad WeMayBeMad
5 Responses May 5, 2012

Get out now while you still can! I have been married to my husband for 20 yrs and it's only gotten worse since she has retired two years ago. She calls him daily and is consistley bad mouth every one and plants nasty seeds of insecurity's with my husband and children...I Have been a bigger women for 20 years with out making any head way...His job as a husband above all else is too protect his family from any kind of abuse! NO MATTER WHERE IT COMES FROM!

It is really hard to see the one you love have to deal with it all, them you get deal with more sometimes than they do. He loves you so do not give up on him. It is not a pleasant thing to deal with, but it does take time and understanding. I still deal with it to this day, but the further I keep her the better it gets I promise. GOOD LUCK, will keep checking up with you and hope it works out soon or is easier to deal with.

I've blocked her on my phone and on social networking sites.<br />
I just hope that Chris will get it through his head that I'm not putting up with her. :T

I think your mother in law is related to mine. I cannot believe that people at this way, it is hard to think that other people deal with what I have. I am still with my husband he is the love of my life. I often say I married you not your family, so keep them far away from me. My mother is not any better than his, so if it helps you we stay far away from both of them and that is the best way to deal with them. I hate to say this but all we can do is look forward to the days that they are no longer here. Keep your head up and do not let them make you stoop to their level.

I truly think you need to blank this woman! She has no right to make your lives hell. She is poison - make sure you document the troubles so she can't get access to your children when you have them.<br />
Good luck - love and hugs xxx