People Have Died For A Lot Less Money

My mother in law and father in law are the worst.  A few years ago the father in law (Peter) got caught cheating on the mother in law (Irina).  Peter was ready to leave the family for his new found 24 year old girl (Peter was 56 or so back then).   Irina freaked out and got suicidal.  Peter ended up not leaving Irina but a few months later, their house caught on fire (caused by the next door neighbor) and my wife and I had to help them out (we gave them 10,000 bucks (USD)).    God knows how they used the money but the money vanished quickly.  Meanwhile Irina got more and more depressed and talked about killing herself. 

My wife pretty much told me that we should help and started hinting about buying a condo for them to move.  Well being a business owner, I knew it was a bad and costly idea.  We ended up almost getting a divorce over this idea and I finally gave in.  I knew that if I didnt agree, we would get divorced.   I did warn my wife that in the end this condo will eventually consume our marriage because it is way too expensive and we would have to sacrifice too much.  Long story short, it was divorce now or possible divorce later.    I also told her that I wanted THEIR house as collateral.  But to no avail, I could not convince my wife to even bring that up to their parents.  I also wanted them to sell their place and furnish the place with that money, so that I would not have to furnish it with my money.

As the condo (the high riser was still under construction when we signed the  $350,000 USD contract)  came closer to completion Peter and Irina said that since we (my wife and I) had a dog, they would like a dog too.  That was when I had a bad feeling.   Well as I had thought, when the condo was completed, they told us that they would not move into it.   Their reason was 1. the apartment was on the 16th floor and she was scared of heights.  2. they could not leave the house.  3. they could not leave their dog behind.  4. they did not want their idiot psychopath son to live alone.  5 etc 6 etc 7 etc etc etc.

I was told by my best friend that when someone talks about suicide, I should never take it lightly and do my very best to accomodate for them, even if it meant that I had to sacrifice my life.  I would gladly help anyone who wants to help themselves but I always refuse to help anyone who doesnt want to pull themselves out of their sink hole.  I made the worst decision of my life helping these two low lifes.

About half a year ago, Peter was diagnosed with cancer.  Peter believes that he isnt going to live much longer.  (people like Peter live a long time, I doubt he will kick the bucket anytime soon. LOL)  So he drinks.  Ever since the infidelity, Irina cant stand to be in the same room with him but his drinking is making it even harder for her to stand her husband.  The next door neighbor is threatining them with a legal case, trying to obtain their land, based on God knows what, and they are starting to hint that they need some help from me again.  Life is starting to look really dark.....
 
The total bill for the condo will end up around 500,000 dollars.   It literally cost me 6-7 years of my life.  I worked so hard for that money, saving every penny, living in frugality,  listening to my wife ***** at our frugal lifestyle, and enduring all the hardship at work.  This was the money we would have used for our future child and retirement.   My job as a strategic risk manager allows me to access all types of financial and economic news.  I know for sure that economy and society is not going to get any better in the next 10-20 years.    This was our get away money should SHTF. 

Just the other day I had to go to their place and Irina told me about some junk she found on the internet.  She claimed that there was going to be some sort of "quantum leap" at the end of this year (2012)  and all the horrible people in the world would be taken to some other dimension (think hell), and that she couldnt wait till 12.21.2012.  I sacastically told her, "yeah all the people will be gone and you'll be the only survivor on earth,  now that's my definition of hell, living alone in the world, hahhahah"  I so desperately wanted to tell her that she and her husbands whims have caused me a great deal of pain and I seriously wished that they would just go away.   Peter who was listening to Irina's crap talk ended up telling me that all this talk was garbage and he didnt want to hear it.  (it was obvious that he felf that Irina was talking about him)   Rapture or no rapture, I was thinking  "you two, die already, like yesterday, please."

The worst part of all this is that they recently apologized to me about this fiasco, only because they saw me distancing myself from them.  Irina loves to gab with her daughter (my wife) and I could tell that she was finding it harder and harder to call my home because I would not even talk to her when I picked up the phone.  I know that she didnt apologize to me because she felt bad about all this problem.  She only wanted to talk to my wife and she felt apprehensive on calling my home.   She has no capacity for empathy.   Truly living out of selfishness, causing harm with most decisions she makes.   After all the help I have given her, all she can tell me is how she can't wait for the end of the world.   That's is so nice.  I wished I heard that before I foot the bill and wasted so many years of my life.  Thanks Irina, now I don't think I can have children because we spent our future money on you and your worthless life. 

Peter on the other hand makes very little money and with the very little money, he now insists that he needs a new car.  I was so tempted to ask him, " if you kick the bucket, who is going to take care of Irina.  Irina gets almost no pension and has no social security, and you want to get a car?  Are you stupid? "   Both of these people think that I just pull money out of a hat and I will always help them out"   Well too bad because at this rate, I will be divorcing my wife of ten years sometime very soon.  I am not crazy or stupid to think that this is the end of the problem.  As long as Peter and Irina are in my life, I will always be bombarded with problems.  Their problems are systemic, it's a part of their life because they built a life based on problems.  The only way to end it is to leave them for good. 

The entire family has no idea that people have died for a lot less money.  They can't even understand what 350000 USD means.  Yet Peter insists on buying a car when he can barely afford heating in his house and Irina is basically penniless without penniless Peter who has cancer.   I guess sad people are sad because of the decisions they make.  I have seen all types of idiotic people but Peter and Irina are truly as bad as they come.  Selfish and ignorant.   Destructive and careless.   I just wish I could get away from them forever. 
ihatemyparentsinlaw ihatemyparentsinlaw
41-45, M
1 Response May 10, 2012

You seem to be in a terrible situation! Bit of a double edged sword for you - they sound like my in laws and they and their idiot son (my husband) are dragging me down. Debt everywhere too and he won't provide effectively he's too lazy to work. Good luck with your situation! You deserve better!!