My Husband Is "immobilized With Fear"

My husband failed to set boundaries with his family 3 years ago and our marriage is still suffering the consequences of it.  His mother ruined the event when my bridesmaids tried on their dresses, making it about her.  I left the event crying and calling him to do something about it.  He called his dad and his dad yelled at his mom to stay out of our wedding since I was not her daughter.  That was not even the message that should have gotten across.  Then his sister started drama and he went to his father.  Same thing with his brother.  No one respects me in the family and they think they can bully me since he doesn't defend me and he runs to his daddy to fix it for him.  The last straw was when I did not want her in the hospital room when I gave birth last year (on my birthday) to our daughter.  He couldn't tell her, and she was a jerk that kept flapping her jaw the whole time and even wanted to start bull with me after I had been in labor for 28 hours, had an emergency c section, and had just got to meet my daughter for the first time.  She twisted a comment I made to my mom and was a jerk to me.  After I recovered, I told my husband that I wanted a divorce and he ran to his parents.  He decided that it would be best that I tell them how I feel.  I did.  Nothing changed because it did not come from him.  So now, almost a year later, we have been in counseling for 14 weeks because I had kicked him out of the house because I couldn't handle the fact that he wanted me to still go around his family and make effort.  Now we are days away from Mother's day, 3 weeks from my baby's first birthday (not to mention mine), and just around the corner from the evil ladies birthday...and we haven't seen his family since Christmas because his mom made rude comments and he didn't defend me again.  I told him to go see his family, but that I and the baby will stay behind.  He wanted me to give his family another chance and I cannot do that.  My baby won't even get a first birthday party this year because I can't have another event ruined by his savage family.  Had I known that this is what was coming, I would have never married my husband. Well I have been crying all day because I feel my marriage is over and I need to cut this off and move on.  Now he has been communicating with our counselor all day (because he must have heard me crying and he always chooses to do stuff as a last ditch effort) and she emails me to tell me that my husband is "immobilized with fear", but he knows what he has to do and is going to do it today.  Why oh why do I wonder does it have to be so hard to stand up to your mommy...and sister?  Why does this mother of his have to be so threatened by me that she is a jerk?  The other women in his brother's life have put up with the torment of his mother and sister, but I won't.  I made myself a promise that if things don't change this year, I am gone.  Shame on a human being to treat another human being like I have been treated, not to mention shame on him for being afraid of his mommy. 
kc1978 kc1978
2 Responses May 11, 2012

let me tell you something do you love your husband ?? you seriously need to put your foot down i know if he wont stand up for you than you dont want to say anything well to bad open your mouth hunnie and if his mom and sister dont like it tough you stand your ground for your baby and yourself than!! obviously they have brainwashed your husband over the years into thinking they were a perfect family yeah perfectly Crazy!! i totaly understand where your coming from !! dont give up and if you love your husband dont give up on him either just cut them off !! remember your baby lots of luck hun and assert your self dont be afraid and who cares what they think anyway

Like you I really wish I'd never married my husband. His family especially my MIL, are a nightmare. I think you should stick to your guns and if he doesn't get his act together - leave him. If I could afford to I would! Good luck I hope you find happiness! Love and hugs xxx