She Blames Me???

I have been with my husband for 10 years and we've been married for 5 years. Recently I discovered he has been having an affair for the past 10 months (since just before the birth of my second child). After much discussion, I found out that he has a sexual addiction that he has been hiding the whole time we have known each other and that he has hidden p@rn use from me. His darling mother who has been a pain since we were engaged feels that it's my fault because I didn't satisfy my husband and he had to look elsewhere. She proceeded to tell me that everyone cheats (ummm.... I didn't and wouldn't, my parents wouldn't, my sisters wouldn't, my grandparents didn't, we are all totally against cheating), I guess she likes to feel that way cause she cheated on her husband. She doesn't feel that my husbands chronic P@rn use, and sexual acts he's been doing to himself at work is wrong either (it's all normal according to her). I should just sweep it under the carpet and learn to satisfy my husband according to her.

We have been separated for the last month and my husband visits every weekend and is actually trying to turn things around by booking into rehab and therapy sessions (his mother doesn't understand why he needs to go into rehab as he doesn't have a problem in her eyes). She has come up to my place on a number of occasions and has said that I have to take the kids to her house next time and leave them. Ummm.... no I don't think so. Apart from the fact that I am grieving thi relationship and don't want to travel 20 minutes out of my way so she can have the children for the day, I don't trust her. She is the one that introduced my husband to p@rn at the age of 10. She has screwed up ideas and I don't want to leave her alone with my children to pass on her views of the world. I still let her see them every fortnight despite the fact I am seperated from her son and I don't want to see the horrid woman, I think I'm fair given the circustances. I blame her in part for what has happened. My husband is a horrible man for what he has done, but given his training earlier in life, who can expect anything else, I really had no chance by the time I met him, he was hard wired to objectify women and be self absorbed and take what he wanted. He was a very good liar. His mum trained him well.

Thanks MIL for blaming me for something your son did to me and his kids. I forgot that a womans sole purpose in life is to satisfy their husband and if they don't they can't be blamed for their lack of self control or empathy towards others. Shame on me. He's a man he needs to sew his oats with multiple women, he needs to spend hours watching p@rn at work so he doesn't have time for his family at home to gratify his needs. For goodness sakes some women need a reality check! Train your sons to be gentlemen and not like a wild animal. It's no one elses fault when someone cheats except their own. I can't stand you, you evil woman and I don't want you around. You have no rights to these children in the laws eyes, if you don't mind your p's and q's you won't be part of their lives at all. Your son wouldn't object, he can't stand yo either.

deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses May 19, 2012

You have great point when a person hide things from his mate that mean he hide many other things too I think Rehab is not going to help anything In my eyes divorce is the best Because he might say he have changing he do it behind your back As for your mother-in-law she have to give up She's not living in a cave she's living in the house life has change Long time a go to use to think he's a man it doesn't matter anymore if he's a man or not He's cheating he's breaking your heart is breaking his family he's not child anymore his man he don't need her move away as far as you can So she cannot visit any more and if she want to visit you have to stay next to her I would not trust her with the children She did her job by raising your husband Now you turn to work hard and raise your kids to better life I hope My advice help you

You are doing the right thing!!  your MIL is awful! Love and hugs xxx