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Its Been a Month

My MIL still thinks I am mad over what happened a month ago, what she doesnt know is I have no desire to see her at all. EVER. There was a family wedding last weekend and I did NOT go, He went to the cermony, but not the reception and I am sure we were the topic of conversation at  dinner that night. Some of his family doesnt want me there anymore that I want to be there.

And when hubby told the mother of the groom that I would not be going all she said was she wished I would change my mind which he told her I would not. However nosey controlling MIL had to give my husband a hard time because the aunt and the groom never did anything to me, which is true but get the hint lady! I do not want to be around any of them, and mind your own friggin business for christs sake! My problem is I know she wont let it go until she gets her way and I know she is talking my husbands ear off (remember she calls everyday) and as much as I WANT to know what she is saying and what HE is saying to hopefully defend me, he wont tell me, and I know it is for my own good.

I know I shouldnt care what they say but I am a very sensitive person and have always worried what people are saying or thinking about me. Chalk it up to low self esteem. And I am prepared to be responsible for my actions and so far so good, my b-day came and went and as soon as I heard her say on the answering machine start  to wish me a happy birthday I hit that delete button so fast.

I have put with this woman's crap for my entire marriage. Now my bigger problem is when the holidays roll around, I have made it clear to my husband that I want nothing to do with his family and I know it hurts him,  and I am sure she doesnt know this yet, but why should my holidays be ruined?? Because I dont speak to the niece, her husband and her parents have the rest of the family in the palm of their hand, so last year, I was kind of off by myself and talked to hardly anyone and this is a huge family. And I will never put myself in that position ever again.

I really do not want to see or talk to this woman and several other members of this family.  Its his family he should deal with them not me. We altenate everyother year and this is her year for Thanksgiving and we always spend Christmans Eve with his side and Christmas Day with mine, and unfortunatley they will be spent separately, he can go with his and I can go with mine, right? Does anyone else have to deal with this?? We do start counseling (again) next Monday, cross your fingers that he tells my husband that he has to tell his mother not to call so much and let us live our own lives.

twinstep twinstep 41-45 2 Responses Jun 17, 2008

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Your holidays shouldn't be ruined; you have a right to be happy on those days even more than any other day of the year. I don't think you should be separated from each other either, just because you MIL had a bad attitude. You should celebrate the holidays together, just the two of you. My husband and I have started doing that and it is great. It is a sacrifice not seeing our families on the holidays, but it is worth it b/c we are both much happier when we don't have to deal with the drama from his mama.

I am in the exact same situation you are my dear! My husband does not repeat the things his mother says about me either! It's apparently for my own good! Her and I had a huge fight last September and just this past Saturday; she clearly has not gotten over it yet. She continues to bring it up to him and he tells her that we have moved on and she expresses concerns that I will withhold her grandchildren from her. <br />
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It drives her nuts that I do not speak to her. The only thing that makes me nervous is my husband's birthday this September and knowing I have to deal with his whole family who hates me because of how I "treated" his mother!<br />
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The woman's nuts! Just plain nuts!<br />
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We are also in marriage counseling and have been since last February. It has helped quite abit with his mother.<br />
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If you want to read my stories, it may have some helpful tips for you. <br />
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Good luck and know that you are not alone in this crazy battle!