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A Weekend With The Person Who Gave My Partner Ptsd

My partner's mother verbally and emotionally abused him and his siblings all throughout their childhoods, and she has never apologized or admitted she did anything wrong. She still treats him the same way sometimes, though she's gotten better since he's set a few boundaries as an adult, and lives very far away. The rest of his family is kind of gossipy and cliquish, but they're all nice, caring people except her. I wish his parents would get a divorce (they've certainly warred over it enough times) so we could cut her out just a liiiittle bit more. I want to spend time with his family, just not with her. They all like me except her, and most of them are on her side of the family.

We're supposed to spend the weekend all together and I'm terrified. Mostly because my partner and I had broken up for a short while, and we never got around to telling them we're back together. We live far away, we know I'm not welcome with his mom, and we wanted to wait until he'd gotten a better job. So that hasn't happened yet, yet another thing for her to belittle him for, and raise my general anxiety levels. Now he wants to go to this big event only he's been invited to and just...bring me. And act like they shouldn't be surprised. There's no reservations issue, there's plenty of room for me, but, c'mon, I feel it's rude and will make me look even worse. I. Sigh.

She's so, so mean. Mostly just to him. She's alright to my face. I've overheard her on the phone with him saying horrible stuff, once over speakerphone but a few times just because she's so loud. And I'm really close with his brother who lives at home in the summer, so I get told things. I guess finding out what people think about you but won't tell you directly is rude, but I never ask for the info. I might be happier not knowing she thinks I'm a dumb **** (dumb **** who scored better than her precious borderline genius son on my standardized tests and have been monogamous for half a decade).

I wish I could get her to like me. I've never been anything but friendly. It's difficult, but we don't see them often. I've been more obsequious than I'd like, and more than she likes in a person, so I'm thinking about turning that off since it hasn't worked yet.

The PTSD thing is serious. It's his actual diagnosis, from two separate counselors. Mild, but true. So you can imagine how much I like a person who gave my partner the mental illness you normally get from being shot at.
tziporrah tziporrah 22-25 1 Response Jul 26, 2012

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well, the weekend is passed. Did you go? I would have said to go. I'm sure when he was invited they would have expected him to bring a guest.<br />
If she's acting like she doesn't like you and you didn't do anything at all, then that's on her. some mothers never like the women that take their sons away from them. If only they'd realize that they actually could be gaining a daughter. but, that's their loss.