Deal with It...
Have you ever noticed that people who blantantly disregard boundaries and disrespect you never seem to acknowledge their role and/or behavior? It is almost like a person never knows they stink or have bad breath, one of nature's jokes I suppose. The same holds true for behavior. I suspect if my MIL was asked to provide her side of the story, it would be quite different from mine. She would betray herself as a victim and displace all of her actions onto me. I've seen this first hand.
Anyone who has seen a mental health professional knows this as "displacement" and is usually born out of insecurity and fear. My MIL and her behavior is as a result of her perception and belief system. Her behavior has been consistent with her son and myself, always blaming and never being accountable for anything she does, thereby, blaming us for the strife. My MIL's thoughts and/or believes are rigid and not open for a reasonable compromise. So whatever issues she has with me or my lifestyle now reside solely with her. I will not make her issues my own. If my MIL treats me badly and does so repeatedly, I have every right to tell her where to get off and not to come again. Regardless of age or how many children sired, NO ONE has the right to mistreat me. PERIOD!
I always question when someone reads a post about another person's experience and tries to label it has generalization, stereotyping, and/or taking it as a personal affront. My posts and I suspect most of the other ladies on here, reflect our own personal experiences and in truth our side of the story. If you are not this type of MIL, then great, your offspring will applaud your efforts. However, do not dismiss our experiences with our own MILs and automatically take the stance of "the offended", these posts are simple sharing of our experiences, we are not labeling all MILs as evil or wicked.
However, if you are MIL and some of these statements ring true to you, then takes these posts as a blessing. You now have gained insight on how your daughter-in-law feels. Please remember, it is impolite and truthly uncivilized to provide unsolicited advise or criticism and just because they married your son does not mean that you can play the role of mother. Since they are not from your loin nor where they raised by you, whatever negativities you verbalize and/or demonstrate will be held against you. Plus your son will constantly hear about the your negative tirades which will cause greater discord in your relationship with you son as well as their marriage. Ultimately, after all the guilt cards are played and the manipulative strings are pulled, your son will see you in all your finery and know down deep what his mother is capable of.