My Marrage Is Over Because Of Her

My hubby is 41 and I am 34. We have been together for five years. She has been one of those that will be nice to you one day and mean the next, but the worst was this past January when I had a still birth at full term due to a cord accident. To make a long story short to help my sanity I chose not to hold or see my baby. I didn't want to see him dead. My mother in law spread it everywhere that Wouldn't hold my baby. And what kind of mother doesn't hold her baby blah blah... So she came over last night so we could finely hash it out and my husband took his mothers side and they tryed to make it look like I was this nut case, and of corse the more that he supported his mom the madder I got. Anyways it got bad and when she was leaving I told her she's lucky because she's number one in my husbands heart and she looked at me and said I know. I feel like I made a total dork of myself and now instead of getting all my feelings out, I just gave her more to gossip about. I'm so upset.
Lkirk789 Lkirk789
31-35
2 Responses Sep 16, 2012

my MIL or the rest of the tribe is not allowed in period. There have been too many snide half joking comments about letting my cats out by accident.
I think once you expell the offending MIL and crew most of us do try and live our daily lives without letting them be a driving force. On the other hand there's that blind anger built up from years of abuse to work though.
The reality is i have not spoken to mine for over a year now. And yet she is the one refusing to let the fight die. Its very hard to hear outright lies about yourself and gain the composure to simply reply, well that's an interesting take on it and move on.
When its a topic as personal and hurtful as the death of a child i'm not sure you can just rise above it.

I"m so sorry for your loss. How we handle these things is deeply personal and the right of no one to pick apart and find fault with. How nasty can a woman be than to use the death of her grandchild to spread gossip instead of . I have seen the death of a child push a marriage apart. You and your husband should try to get some professional help to try and understand each others different ways of grieving, even if you separate later. And I would suggest some help in how he can learn to still love his mother but be supportive of his wife.

And shame on the MIL for making more grief than there already is.