Why Do You Hate Me?

One of the times when we first met, she had her youngest daughter (7 yrs old), go up and "fetch" me from my apartment... in the pouring rain... while she waited for me in the car. Her rule is, "Don't come over unannounced."
If I would have known she was coming, I would have at least bathed (it was my weekend off and I was wearing an old t-shirt and dirty jeans from 2 days before--when I take off, I take off). Then, when I get to her car, she has her daughter hop right in back while I sat up front and listened to her "explain" her reasons for not approving her son and I dating. She blamed ME for my brother and him not getting along anymore (another story, another time) and for my eccentric mother acting, well... eccentric to her son. She also said that since he seemed to seek a long-term relationship with me, then she "guesses that she HAS to get to know me better." Which she followed with, "*sigh* My husband's family and I get together every Sunday for dinner. If you want, you can stop by around 8pm to drop off something for his care package [my boyfriend is in the military as am I], because that's what time we usually come home from dinner with them. I told my boyfriend what had happened, he talked to her about it and she denied everything.
Now, we can't even talk about her OR my mother without getting into screaming matches.

KoalaChic KoalaChic
18-21, F
2 Responses May 9, 2007

Don't let her get under your skin. My MIL has done everything to get under mine and still does. I just have to keep in the back of my mind that I am a better person and a better woman to my fiance than she ever was. No matter what her and her daughters tell him or me. I find myself taking it less seriously since my fiance tells me that it doesn't matter what they think of me. He still thinks I'm wonderful. And I believe him (most of the time, but that's a completely different story!)

Okay first, do not let her issues be yours. For whatever reason she does not like you, it could be that her MIL never liked her, or it could be something as benign as you remind her of someone she once knew and didn't like. Regardless of her reason, and if you think about it, the reason doesn't really matter, the fact remains she has an issue with you. So take steps to protect yourself. Limit your exposure to her alone so that there will not be another incident where what was said was denied. MILs love this tactic and they like to place their children in the middle of it by saying, "I would never say that. How could you accuse me of such a thing? It is all her." Just don't put yourself in that situation. And bottom line, you really don't have to deal with her. You can have a relationship with her son without having a relationship with her. Just define this clearly with your boyfriend and you should be okay. Good luck and don't fret!