Mother's Day and What It Means to Me

I have had the pain of having two mother in laws.  One is deceased and the other is still living.  One had a drinking problem and the other will drive you to drink.  What does all this mean?  It means their controlling, manipulative ways are just one of the things that these two women share in common. 

Mother's Day is about women who give a positive, nurturing, giving and loving influence to their children.  Women who strive to see their children grow up and become men or women and lead a full life and support them at whatever they end up doing.  Some mother in laws do not fit into this category. 

My current one sadly does not.  She has 3 grown sons and only 1 is married (my husband) and 1 now lives in a hotel room and the other lives with her and has an illegitimate granddaughter (took the mother to court and took the child away from her).  She is obssessive/compulsive and she treats everyone like a baby.  She is hard, not feminine, and is crude.  She doesn't have any moral fortitude as my mother would put it but yet she attends Catholic mass every Saturday as if this absolves her from behaving like a ***** to everyone at all times.  She has a distorted view on everyone and looks like Margaret Hamilton from the Wizard of Oz movie, cackling away.  Yes, she really looks like her.  She has done so many things underhandedly and has done & said things behind my back.  I've caught her several times talking to my husband about me in a negative, berating, belittling way and yes, he lets her because he says frankly it doesn't do any good to say anything to her because she can't comprehend your attitude because she is so evil and enjoys it too much. 

Has it caused alot of tension and yelling and screaming with each other?  The answer is yes.  This is why we are moving away.  I believe the change in geographic location will help us..more like help my husband get away from this ***** who has prevented him from growing up because she always acts like she knows what's best for her sons, who has never shown any inkling of care and concern for her 3 other grandchildren and strives to keep everyone babyfied and under her thumb. 

These kind of women really do exist.  This mother in law of mine is jealous of me.  She never attended college.  Never worked a day in her life and yet she has told countless stories of how she had to struggle for money in their marriage.  Her stories are inconsistent with maids she has hired when they were little to clean their house,  dropping her kids off at her parent's house and leaving them for months at a time, etc.  I found these little tidbits out through the years.  Yes she fabricates and has been a thorn in my side.  My husband hates to talk to her on the phone and avoids her phone calls. If she is talking to him on the phone and I call while he's talking to her? He won't answer with me because of her guilt trips she will put on him. 

I think what this boils down to is that if you got really Freudian about this, one time she came over unannounced early on in our marriage and kept knocking on the door and we were having sex.  When I finally answered as my husband was putting his clothes back on she says with a smartelic way "I guess you two were busy".  I said yes we were.  She said I think sex is overrated.  I said well I've been told you don't even like sex.  She says I haven't had it in 20 years.  I said well maybe that's what's wrong. 

So hey, maybe that's what's wrong with all these manipulative, controlling mother in laws.  They are in unhappy, no sex marriages and don't love each other.  That would explain alot wouldn't it.  Think about it.

notears4betty notears4betty
46-50, F
1 Response May 12, 2007

I completely believe that jealousy thing. Everytime I try to go back to college and finish my BA, get a better job, or do anything with my life or self, she has to step in and make things bad in my home so that I am unable to do it. My fiance doesn't believe that's what happens, but it does! The last time I attempted college, I had to work full time, move all of our stuff to the new house on my own because he conviently "forgot" to request off on moving day, and then set everything up by myself. Then when I attempted to go back again he would pick fights with me before I had to leave for class so when it was time to get the bus, I was in tears and refused to go out in public. And I have a feeling it wasn't just him behind it.