ARRRGGGHHH! I Hate My Mil!
I have been reading all of your stories, and I am so grateful to know I have comrades out there! Where do I start? When I first started dating my husband, she started in with her passive-aggressive BS. At the first Thanksgiving I shared with his family, she made snide comments in front of his entire family saying that divorce is against God and is never acceptable because peple just need to get over it and work it out (I am divorced from a physically abusive marriage-she KNEW this!) and that she just didn't know why anyone would marry a man with a kid because that was just wrong! (You guessed it, I had a stepdaughter during my 1st marriage, and she knew that too.) Then, when we moved in together, she proceeded to pop in unannounced and tell me (in MY living room in MY house!) that we were living in sin and that I was corrupting her son, and that I was going to go to hell (HELLO holy roller b&*ch!). Thank goodness, my hubby (boyfriend at the time) calmly escorted her to the door. When we took his parents to dinner to announce our engagement, my hubby told his mom, "Guess what! You're getting a new daughter!" and showed her my left hand. She glared at me and said "I don't NEED a daughter I HAVE 2 sons!" Yep, that stung. Thank goodness for my FIL (who is wonderful), who was embarrassed as hell and immediately awkwardly congratulated me and engaged me in conversation while the MIL started crying and asking my hubby how he could do this to her. I wanted to puke. At the next time we were all together, including my BIL and SIL (who are great), she was talking about the upcoming Father's Day and how we would all celebrate it, including hubby and I even though he wasn't a father-"AT LEAST NOT THAT I KNOW OF!" while glaring at me. OK, so now, according to her, we got engaged because we were knocked up. Not the case at all, but in my opinion even if that was the case, it's not her problem-we were not kids-we were in our late 20's at the time. She steadfastly showed her butt (not literally) at my bridal shower. On our wedding day, she showed up in BLACK and cried...not the good kind of crying, either. She had thrown such a fit about the possibility of alcohol at our reception that we did not serve any just to keep the peace-might I add that we paid for this ourselves, and I don't feel she should have had any say-so, but whatever. Keeping the peace, right? By the way, my best friend (she rented a room in our house when she was in grad school for her PH.D.) is a lesbian, and my Mom's business partner is a gay male. She is a Southern Holiness Pentacostal, and while I will never knock anyone's religion, she shoves her views on us and you can just imagine what she had to say about our gay friends and how they should be "sturck dead by God" and they "will burn in the fiery depths", yada yada yada. Well, she was my maid of honor, and Mom's business partner and his significant other were there as well-and let me tell you-they are not flaming, they are very discreet and not feminine at all. Well, the business partner and his man ended up leaving before the wedding even started due to her nasty comments, said just loud enough for them to hear. A year later, when we bought a house, she cornered me and said that we don't know what we are doing financially and we really just need to rent a little apartment for about $300 a month. (There are no such things in Greensboro, NC, not even in the ghetto section of town! Plus we have 3 large dogs!) She had me where I couldn't get out of the truck-I advised her that I appreciated her concern, but we were well in control of our finances, then just started calling for my husband and saying we really needed to go-look at the time! She kept sniping, however. We're not rich (we're both in EMS and law enforcement) but we can well afford a house, and we live well within our means-no unreasonable debt, etc. This lasted for months. Then when we were done with the house, she makes catty little comments about how we had all of this expensive furniture (she only went to the first place we lived one time) and other things and we should have just gone to a cheap store. My mother owns an interior design firm-yes I have a lot of things, but I have collected them piece by piece over the last 10 years and I buy wholesale through her business and have not once ever charged any of it! I told her this and the comments still persisted. Then when we went to my MIL's house to tell them we were expecting a baby (she was a PLANNED baby), she burst into tears and said why didn't we prevent this, because now we were linked together forever! Since our daughter has been born, she has made horrible comments as well. At our daughter's christening, she was PO'ed because she wanted us to all gather around so she could give us a present, (she gives us little things all of the time, like that is going to make her be able to say all of these nasty things-there are hundreds more I haven't shared!) and we were too busy trying to talk to everyone eles and show them the baby and visit with everyone from out of town. We were at my mom and dad's house after the church service for lunch with all of our relatives that had come for the service, and she kept pushing everyone to stop talking and gather around even though we were quietly trying to discourage this, because no one else brought a gift (who knew you were supposed to for that?) and we didn't want to make anyone feel bad. She also let us know how displeased she was with the use of the word "catholic" in a prayer ("I believe in the holy spirit, the holy catholic church, ...etc-we are methodist and that is how the prayer goes and I think it is a lovely one!). I was ready to pull my hair out, but ignored the comment. As I was talking to my SIL-we were exchanging stories about our kids-we were laughing about the time I had my daughter in the bathtub with me (she is ONLY 3 MONTHS OLD!) and she pooped and there was a little "floater" ick! My MIL turned around and butted into our conversation, saying that children should not see their parents naked, that is a perversion and it is wrong! HOW THE HELL IS SHE GOING TO MAKE PUTTING MY BABY IN THE TUB WITH ME INTO SOMETHING DIRTY!!! I didn't say anything back, then cried the whole way home (nothing new there). Just yesterday, when we left their house, I mentioned that we had to get on home so I could cut the lawn before it got dark-the ENTIRE ROOM fell silent and she barked-on a Sunday????!! What am I supposed to say to that? I felt like telling her I had to go ahead and get it done so I could sacrifice a small animal or something...but nooooo once again I kept the peace and politely excused myself. I am so sick and tired of this passive aggressive hurtful crap. I don't know why I am just not good enough for her! I cry after almost every time we see her. We even MOVED from southeast Guilford county (remember the new house? we sold the damn thing) to Kernersville (in Forsyth county, the next county over, about 45 minutes away and equidistant from my parents house and hers. (Of course she whined because we were moving closer to my parents-she never came to see us when we lived 2 miles from her and bitched the whole time anyway!) Nothing I do is good enough for her! I wish I was able to just shrug it off, but it really hurts me. She constantly complains about my to my husband. I have never said anything to her because I don't want to put her where she wants me to be-between her and my hubby-and I will be the good person in this if it freaking kills me. But I just can't take it anymore! I finally told my hubby he was going to have to say something to her or I was going to-and he sure as hell didn't want me saying something to her, because I am well beyond the boiling point. Any ideas? Thanks so much for letting me vent! I try not to vent to hubby because then it puts HIM in the middle and I refuse to let her win by making him feel bad, too!