Need Help, Opinions Please.

My son's first birthday is coming up in the next couple weeks. I do not get along with my husbands mother, at all. This past Thanksgiving I decided I was not going to go over there. I have never had an issue with his grandmother before. I have even went out of my way numerous times to let her see my son. She very rudely stated at Thanksgiving that I needed to learn to share my son and pass him around. My husband stunned had left to come back to where I was. He told me she most certainly had not said it in a joking way. His mother has been going over there non stop and talking to her like crazy. She has already made her sister and cousin dislike me, ignore me, and tell me "what I should do."

I am so torn if I should even do a party or what I should do for his party. No matter what I do I can never please these people, there always against me, always saying rude things. Should I just be done with all them and get them out of my life? What should I do about his party or should I even have one? What makes this all worse is I literally live next door....

Also, I have tried lots of times to talk to his mom as I posted on another story. I tried counseling and I have tried sitting and talking to her, she always tells me I made the whole thing up in my head and that I'm crazy because she is a christian woman and a christian would never do such a thing.
Fedupwithmil1 Fedupwithmil1
2 Responses Nov 26, 2012

Sit down with your husband. Tell him everything that bothers you about your MIL and explain what you would like to happen in your relationship with your MIL. I have issues with my DIL and I've learned to sit and chat with my son about these issues. Sometimes I'm shocked to find out that something I said was taken out of context by her, other times there is simply no rational explanation for her actions. My son sits, listens and then tries to offer suggestions, or, in the case where I misunderstood something, he'll correct me. It's helped me to try and get along with her.

I think the two of you should have a very nice quiet birthday party with your child. That way you both enjoy the day and there's no drama at all.

I can help since I've studied Psychology for 26 years and worked in the field of Behavior modification.

I'll get to the birthday later.

The reason that things are going so wrong is that you: Fedupwithmil1 are negotiating witha " CHRISTIAN MANIPULATOR ".When you try to talk to someone and they are talking behind your back and telling you that you are crazy then they are messing with your sanity.

If my mother were to do those things with my wife and baby then I would step in and DO MY JOB AS A HUSBAND.I would tell my mother that this CHRISTIAN behavior is not very CHRISTIAN and it's hurting my wife that I LOVE.

Look sweety your MIL may not be clinically mentally ill but she is actting the part very well.I can see that you are___ VERY___sincere and nice because you went to seek help from a therapist,tried to talk to the MIL to fix things but things were manipulated and you were the crazy one.

So read "Family First " by Doctor Phil and see what you learn about healthy children and parents as compared to your MIL and her HOLY BIBLE of honesty and values.

BIRTHDAY PARTY.I think you need to start protecting your family time from these manipulators.Have a birthday party for your child ....quietly ....with your parents or sibblings away from your home.Then let you hubby take your child to their house without you so they can share him better ...LOL YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AROUND THESE PEOPLE ....UNTIL.....your hubby has them behaving.If he doesn't want to grow a set of balls then you grow a set.

If they are good for a month or two then be around them.If they start the " YOUR CRAZY " talk or any emotional abuse then leave and let hubby do his thing.If they behave they see you if not then they don't see you.YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU.

Next year no matter what have your OWN special day away with your son or at your home as long as they can't come over and then share the child at their place.

If they get too abusive over time then cut them off of you child perminently !!!!