My Dramaqueen-in-law

Yesterday, after having to deal with my extremely self centered mother in law for years, I lost my grip and told her that she should quit acting like she's been a perfect mother to my fiance and stop being such a drama queen. She responded by deleting me from her Facebook, banning me from the family by telling everyone what a horrible ***** I am, and writing hurtful remarks about how I'm not really related to my six year old stepdaughter who she never even cared to meet before someone told her that me and my fiance went to see my parents with my fiance's
daughter. My fiance won't get involved even though he agrees with me, and that leaves me all alone. I'm only 20 years old, and even though I've been with my fiance for almost five years, it's been hard for me to suddenly be a parent to a six years old kid, and I would like if I could get some ******* support in return for working my *** of to be a perfect housewife. He did try to call his mother once to get her to meet with us and talk about it, but she refuses to speak to me, and said to my fiance that she will break my nose if she sees me again. She lives 5
minutes away from us.
Sjovn Sjovn
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 27, 2012

You broke the rules of family and psychology by saying those things to your MIL.

The rule is that each person in a relationship MUST deal with their own family members.I know that's kind of hard when your hubby won't man up and do his job.

Well,you said what you said and the mentally Ill mother inlaw went nuts so what to do now.

The best thing is to tell your hubby to deal with his mom the next time.I would tell you to appoligize to your MIL if I thought that she was sane.....which she is clearly NOT.

I can say these things because I have worked in the Psychology field for 26 years.I STRONGLY suggest that you read a book to help you and your hubby work as a team with the MIL and kids.READ : Doctor Phil's " FAMILY FIRST "

Take this time away from the MIL as a vacation so you can regroup.

Maybe change your name so you don't look insane.
Iamfuckingyoursontonight ??? NOT NICE

Your MIL may not change till she is gone from your life but you can ramp down the frustration and anger by reading that book.It will show you how healthy adults raise healthy children and deal with outside people in the marriage.

My username was just a bad joke, excuse my bad taste in humor. :-)

I DID appologize to her, multiple times! I tried calling her five times yesterday, but she just hangs up on me. I am really sorry I accused her of being a bad mother, it's not my job to tell her what her son feels, but I have to admit that it felt good to put her in place, she IS terribly dramatic and self centered, and she's hurting my hubby with her selfishness. My fiance won't get involved, but he says he can't live with being pulled between me and his mother, so he called her and said she had to choose between fixing things with me, or lose contact with her only child and grandchild. She chose to not fix things with me, so I guess that really says a lot about her, choosing her own pride in front of her closest family, confirming that she never really cared much for her grandchild. It really hurts my fiance's feelings to know that her recently effort in being a good grandmother was just a fake act to make herself look like a better person.

You are a woman with a very GOOD HEART and I can feel the kindness and the good intention through your words.

When your fiance say's........... My fiance won't get involved, but he says he can't live with being pulled between me and his mother, so he called her and said she had to choose between fixing things with me, or lose contact with her only child and grandchild.

This is an adult that is doing HIS JOB IN THE MARRIAGE and I;m please to hear him saying those things to his own mom.

NOW,if you both had problems with your parents then that would be YOUR JOB for the rest of your lives.

I'll tell you a little secret about people like his mom that are self centered and stuborn people like her.SILENCE and AVOIDANCE will help change her behavior unless she is is a Narcisist or Sociopath.You and hubby now have to hold her accountable for working on HARMONY in this relationship.

Do not give in at Christmas either or it will send her a message that she can continue on with bad family behavior.

In conclusion,you are to love your child and love your hubby but it's not your job to go to his mother and try to protect him anymore.You can rub your hubby's back and back and support him while he takes on this MIL from hell but that is were it stops.

Personally my wife works for a very cruel and sadistic Government employer and it makes me angry because they are abusive to an award winning employee.BUT..... it's not my job to call them and try to protect her feelings and work things out.I support my wife emotionally and that's what a good partner does.