My Mil And Our First Home

so, back in June my husband and I found the house of our dreams, but after our realtor run up the monthly payments, we learned that it would be $200 above of what we wanted to pay each and every month. It wasnt a big deal, i mean, we could pay, but we just didnt want to go over our own pre-set limit because we are still paying our car and there is our daughter's day care.

anyways, we mentioned this to his mother, who called husband later on to tell him "if you and your wife really like the house, go ahead that i will help you guys out until you guys dont have to pay for the day care"

my husband was very excited, and we closed the deal. just note that: she wasnt giving us money for the down payment, she was willing to watch our daughter 1 day during the week, which would save us exactly the $200 needed to complete the budget.

well, once we got the keys, we went over to my MIL's house for dinner and started talking about the "promise" she had made to my husband, and for my surprise (actually, NOT surprised at all), she said "oh, i didnt really mean to offer the help, i just wanted you guys to get the house you both liked, maybe if you dont have cable and cancel the swimming lessons, you will have the $200"

All i could think at the moment was "what goes around, comes around...."

p.s: my husband and i are not strugling, we have our jobs, and our savings, we just had a pre-set monthly budget and didnt want to go over it. Also, what made me upset was the fact that she promised to her own son something, and this was not the first time... if you read my other post, you will see that she had also promissed to quit her job and watch our daughter while we work so we wouldnt need to pay for daycare (which in our area can be over $1000 per month). now i know i cant count on her promises...
thedaughterinlaw thedaughterinlaw
2 Responses Nov 27, 2012

I read all your stories but excuse me I found no obvious reason for you to hate your MIL so much
Focus rather on what you have, recognize all the good things you have in front of the people you love and esteem.
If your MIL is "crazy", just ignore her behaviour, not her, and you'll see.

i actually dont hate my MIL, i dislike her, and i have my motives. i m here to vent about the things she does that drives me crazy. Trust me dear, i focus a lot on everything good i have, but it is good to be able to tell the stories, as write them, i actually laugh about the her non-sense. And she is fake, oh my, she def is. Spend one weekend in my shoes, and you will see her through my eyes!
thank you for your time though. you made me think about other stories, that i will post later on. See ya!

I accept your criticism with an open spirit, I must admit you did it with high respect, you're right, my reply was impulsive or abrupt, I'm so sorry for what I said to thedaughterinlaw.
Plato once said "It's not important that I must be right, I must be sincere"
My sole explanation for my "rude" response is that I'm sincere to give a good advise,to:
1-Relief pain
2-Go ahead
I can give you good examples (from EP) of women who had stories worse than the ones I've been reading most of the time, but they jumped all over the obstacles, how, I'm sure of one thing:
You can't have better results if you keep having same attitudes and beliefs or doing the same things, you can't get rid of constraints if you refuse to broaden your vision, and listen to somebody else view point,when you feel some bitterness listening to other people, be sure that there is something worthy.
When I talked about ignorance, I meant, ignoring acts not presenting objective threatening to the stability of the little family in the present time.

Venting must be done very carefully (you may think that I'm exaggerating), because it could have a reverse effect, you can do some research on the internet, you'll find that this act "venting" must be done in a purpose, as you can notice, when a patient is going through a psychiatric therapy he is not "venting" he answering precise question, I'm not telling people here are psychiatric patients,I'm just doing a similitude.

Uh, DIL, get a clue. If she's pulled this on you before, I'm curious why you two fell for it again. The better avenue would have been to talk to hubby, tell him you were very suspicious that she was going to let you down again. Perhaps a sit-down with MIL and FIL to go through everything, and heck, perhaps you could have gotten it in writing, a contract, if you will. When you KNOW better, when you're been let down before, why, oh, why, would you go down that road again??

You know, my husband is not craaaaaaaazy about his mother (thank god) I mean, he adores her, but he is just really laid back. not just when it comes to his mother, but in every aspect of his life. He thinks that if there is no blood, everything is fine. Me, in the other end, toatly the opposite. I am passionate about things, I don make promises and "forget" about them. So, when we found out that she "didn't mean" and it wasnt the first time, there was an excuse for him: she just wanted the best house for us and she did what she could to make us get it. Helloo???? Really? like, tricking us? making us believe that we had her support? You are right, it wasnt the first time, and probably wont be the last because I need to have a fake good relationship with her because her husband is simply THE BEST GUY ON EARTH. He is crazy about my daughter, he does aything for her, but he cant obligate his crazy wife to be committed to her promises. He does whatever is on his power to help my husband and I, and i m not talking about finances, i really dont like getting money from them and as i said, i work, my husband works, we have savings. But he helps us watching our daughter, takng her to the doctor if she is sick, fixing something that it is broken, he is always there, and maybe that's why i didnt went any further on my fight with my MIL, bc her better half is def a lot better than her! I just wantto add that she can let my husband and I down, but if one day she does something similar to my daughter, the end of the story is going to be different. Thank you for your input, by the way.